Carmelo Anthony must not know who the fuck he’s farting with. Dressing like a 90′s action movie villain doesn’t make you tough, bro. Most people who even dream of slapping a street king like Spencer Hawes never wake up to tell about it. You ain’t about that life, Melo. Really. You may be from West Baltimore having spent your entire childhood hiding red tops in your b-hole and snitching on your mans for McDonald’s, but you don’t know HALF of the crazy shit Spence has seen. The World’s Tallest Stoolie isn’t some cupcake for bitch-ass championshipless all-stars to dump on; had that 5′ tall ref not stepped in Carmelo Anthony and Tyson Chandler would 100% be DEAD. That’s a promise. Just how things is done in the pacific northwest. Seattle, motherfucker. Get down or lay down.
Run, Melo, Run!
In other news Andrew Bynum practiced in his first 5-on-5 but Doug Collins immediately threw cold water on that boner and made it clear it doesn’t matter. “What might have been” indeed, Doug. Especially for your job.