Homegirl is rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling like Limp Bizkit circa 2000. No sober person can attack a dance floor with that level of unbridled passion. This is the work of drugs. And what a tremendous job they’ve done.

Fuck you, coordination. You’re not the boss of her. Always-the-bridesmaid has had enough of this sidelines bullshit and is finally stepping into her rightful place in the center of the dance floor. Red dress, dance moves from MTV’s The Grind, and a blood stream teeming with mephedrone is all it’ll take for Ms. Party Time USA to finally land her husband. Shake that fupa!

PS – Having the ‘Ice Ice Baby’ remix played at your reception 100% means your marriage won’t last.