When I was a freshman in college a girl I worked with at Chili’s once told me I looked like Tayshaun Prince. I remember it because it was literally the meanest thing anyone had ever said to me. The girl wasn’t exactly a sports fan, either. So when she said “I saw a basketball player that looks like you” I was forced to guess for a minute or so until I finally laid the hammer on myself.

“Wait….you’re not thinking of Tayshaun Prince, right?”
“That’s it!”

It was like a flaming spear through the heart. It wasn’t even like the girl was cute herself but my feelings were straight-up dismantled in three ugly syllables. Tayshaun Prince? Bitch are you insane? Even if I did look like Tayshaun Prince, that’s not something you say to someone’s face. That’s the type of shit you whisper about in the back with the dishwashers, like how we did about that time my boy banged you out raw dog in the back of his Scion and never called you again.

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Thanks Travis