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Mo,

Does this tattoo on my buddys foot get him laid?

We are traveling in Thailand and we were on an island called Koh Phi Phi and he said the only tattoo he would get is a spider tangling in between his webbed toes. (not sure what % of people have webbed toes, but he believes he is unique) We thought were just spitballin ideas until we huff a couple buckets of thai whiskey, and he finds himself in a chair hollering because he’s getting a Thai bamboo stick tatt in between his toes.

Cheers,
Dusty

My old roommate’s girlfriend had webbed feet. Cute girl otherwise but when she took off her socks the first time shit got RILL. She had mentioned the conjoined toes in passing before but was always real apprehensive about showing her feet. One night she came back to the apartment white girl wasted after a bunch of red wine and it was “Goodbye, socks! Hello lifelong scarring for maurice!” Those jawns were HORRENDOUS. Girl should have maintained a much more strict Liz Lemon-style no exposed feet policy.

But this is the main reason why men and women are different. While webbed toes were a point of embarrassment for this girl I’m sure to your boy it’s just a joke. Huge difference between how men and women approach these situations. Women can’t laugh at themselves, and for once it has nothing to do with them not being funny.

Of course having said all that…this still doesn’t get him laid. The fact that it has a weird Thai third-world bamboo ink story tied to his deformity is a plus, but it’s still a webbed foot. Creepy Asian spiders with the wrong number of legs don’t change the fact that his toes are still unnaturally stuck together. The tattoo only draws more attention to it. And what the hell is that gross fucking sore on his foot? Nah, bro. Funny tat is a good idea, but he should have stuck with the ol’ keeping-the-socks-on “what webbed toe?” technique.

What do you think? Vote 1 for Laid and 10 for Not Laid.

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