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If you could put together a 5 person All Philly dodgeball team up against the other barstool cities, who ya got?

Vick? Utley? Thad? Giroux? DeSean?


This is kind of a stupid question but I’m kind of a stupid person so why not? Five-person all-Philly dodgeball team. Simple:

Michael Vick

Pros - Cannon arm, quick, competitive, and has leadership experience.
Cons - Ex-con. Will be intercepted four times a game.

DeSean Jackson

Pros - Speed. Dodgeball is all about lateral quickness and speed and nobody is hitting this guy. Plus he can catch.
Cons - Me-first player. Teammates often don’t know the fuck he’s talking about.

Jimmy Rollins

Pros - Still has some speed to him at an older age, plus enough power in his arm help on offense.
Cons - Old. Refuses to run out fly dodgeballs.

Jrue Holiday

Pros - Youth, athleticism, and a point guard’s accuracy.
Cons - Tallish. Big target.

Zac Rinaldo -

Pros - Toughness. Team needs an enforcer who will punch another’s team’s captain in the mouth for talking slick.
Cons - Will probably get tossed out the game for punching another team’s captain in the mouth for talking slick.

Kapoow — simple as that. That’s the best five in the city. Utley, bruh? With those knees? And why would I pick a 6’9″ giant target on my squad? Dumb.