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Mo,

My brother and I got into a very intense argument about the toughness of athletes while watching the sixers game. The argument started when he said “basketball players are all pussies”. I disagreed, explaining that the game of basketball is very rough especially talking into consideration the size and nature of the athletes. I believe this misrepresentation “all basketball players are pussies” is a common mindset among whites.

Long story short, the conversation eventually came down to (no kidding) who would win in a fight: average NHL hockey player vs. average NBA basketball player?

Regards,
-Nickels

Oh it might be time for some debate. Before even writing this blog I had a long GChat with (former?) Barstool Philly writer CL trying to get his perspective on the whole thing. In the end we both agreed on a winner: NBA Players.

I would agree that the average NHL player is tougher than the average NBA player, but in the real world that doesn’t necessarily mean they would win in a fight. Size of the fight in the dog my ass. Let’s see that dog square off against Marcin Gortat or Kendrick Perkins. Yeah, that tough, fight-filled dog would be deader Apollo Creed in Rocky IV.

There are a handful of NHL players I think could run through most of the NBA fight-wise (Chara comes to mind), but as a whole there’s no way these scrappy 5’9″ Canadians/Euros are gonna be able to win a fight against human monsters like Dwight Howard and LeBron James. NO WAY. Shaq was bigger than the Big Show. Even pussies like Carmelo are 6’8″ 230. Fuck outta here with your “goons”.

Also, CL and I had a good time imagining the outcome of a giant 30-man NBA Royal Rumble-style fight. Here are some of the conclusions we came to with the Royal Rumble theory:

Chris Bosh is 100% the first guy out. He will then cry all the way to the locker room.
LeBron James, a strong candidate to win, would be ganged up on and taken out early.
Pau Gasol is another immediate out, probably ganged up by both Lopez bros.
Kobe Bryant will use manipulation and mind tricks to stay in the ring.
Josh Smith will be one of the last guys; too big, athletic, young, dumb, and hood.
Birdman will use chairs.
Crazy-ass Metta World Peace is somehow your winner.

I’m curious to see who you guys think would win that NBA rumble. But first, please tell me why I’m stupid for thinking the NHL couldn’t beat up the NBA. Time’s yours.