If you’ve got a working pair of eyes then you must have come to the same conclusion I did: total goose victory. Goose held his ground and eventually scared this awkward little man inside. Kobe Bryant-like unflinching confidence in the face of this man and his newspaper. The match actually could have gone either way up until its final moments but that last goose charge and the man’s fearful hurried pace to get inside said it all. The goose is the alpha animal of that walkway.

You could learn a lot about combat by simply watching the actions of these two throughout their duel. Confident posture, standing your ground, and patiently waiting for your shot means everything. At least when fighting large birds, I guess.