‘Seapunk’ Hipsters Upset That Rihanna Stole Their Scene, Robert Mbutowe Still Dies Of Hunger This Morning
GAMBELLA, ETHIOPIA – Seapunk, a little-known subculture of hipster youth who identify with seascapes, bright colors, and 90′s electronica mood music, voiced their displeasure recently with pop star Rihanna’s performance on the NBC comedy program Saturday Night Live. According to Seapunk enthusiasts, Rihanna’s use of aquatic imagery and overall appearance is a rip off of their once unique style.
Robert Mbutowe, a 27 year-old out of work soldier, died yesterday of starvation completely unaware of Seapunk’s displeasure with the young Trinidadian sensation. Yesterday, while holding his children close and praying to a God he recently converted to for missionary food, he voiced his concerns about Rihanna’s choice of 3D dolphin graphics in her SNL performance. “Please, I saw you eating some food earlier,” he cried about Rihanna’s shameless aesthetic theft. “Just give something to my children. One piece of bread, anything.”
The region is obviously rocked by the allegations. Rihanna has yet to respond.
…although if you’d like to see a very NSFW picture of her nipple click here.