ocFast forward two years and almost 100 folk remedies tried, Mallory Kievman has reached her goal and is starting a company to commercialize and promote her magic product – Hiccupops. Believe it or not, the stubborn inventor created the special hiccup-stopper right in her family’s kitchen, in Manchester, Connecticut. After a lengthy process of trial and error, Mallory decided to incorporate her three favorite cures – lollipops, apple cider vinegar and sugar – into one killer combo she named Hiccupops. “It triggers a set of nerves in your throat and mouth that are responsible for the hiccup reflex arc. It basically over-stimulates those nerves and cancels out the message to hiccup,” the 13-year-old says. But Mallory didn’t just rest on her laurels after inventing Hiccupops, she went on to present her product to the world, and during a convention for kids, she met Danny Briere, a serial entrepreneur and founder of Startup Connecticut. She new that people would immediately fall in love with Hiccupops or just think she was nuts. Lucky for her, and everyone who hates hiccups, Briere loved her idea and decided to help this young girl launch her own company. “It’s very rare, when you’re evaluating businesses, that you can envision a company or product being around 100 years from now. Hiccupops is one of those things. It solves a very simple, basic need”, Briere said about Mallory’s invention, and it’s hard to disagree with him on this one.

Here’s the thing I don’t like about child inventors: they make me feel bad about myself. It’s not exactly jealousy because I have zero desire to sell people gross hiccup-curing vinegar lollipops, but I don’t need to see these kids’ success all shoved in my face. That’s why I don’t get why the media covers these child prodigy stories so much — they have to accelerate depression in anyone who is 20-50 years old. We don’t need to hear about some tween broad making millions off of something we should have thought of years ago. This is only cute if you’re 75 and all your dreams and friends are already dead and all you have left is hope for the younger generation. I’m not that far along yet. I still have dreams, bro. Don’t need your successful child prodigy articles making me feel bad about my life choices.

Also, she was funded by an entrepreneur named Danny Briere? The universe is just fucking with me at this point, right?