zimbioIn the new issue of Rolling Stone, the artist formerly known as Snoop Dogg explains that it was always his dream to become a real pimp — which is why, after he’d already established himself as one of the top rappers in the music industry, he decided to go into business around 2003. “As a kid I dreamed of being a pimp, I dreamed of having cars and clothes and bitches to match,” Snoop recalls. “I said, ‘Fuck it — I’m finna do it.’” So Snoop “put an organization together” while on a Playboy tour with a bevy of babes: “I could fire a b**ch, fuck a b**ch, get a new ho: It was my program. City to city, titty to titty, hotel room to hotel room, athlete to athlete, entertainer to entertainer.” The rapper says he mostly catered to professional athletes, reminiscing, “If I’m in a city where where the Denver Broncos or the Nuggets play, I get a couple of they players to come hang out, pick and choose, and whichever one you like comes with a number. A lot of athletes bought p**sy from me.” Snoop insists it was a labor of love. “I’d act like I’d take the money from the bitch, but I’d let her have it,” he claims.

Love you, Snoop. Doggystyle is one of the greatest rap albums of all time and you’re a Hall of Fame rap personality and a personal favorite celebrity of mine. But this is complete bullshit, bruh. You know what they call a pimp who sells expensive hos to famous people but doesn’t collect his money? Just some fuckin dude. Pimps get a percentage. There’s no such thing as an unpaid pimping internship. You either take money from these hos or you’re just a guy with a bunch of whorish Smokeshow friends. There is no in between.

Snoop should know better than this or at least I would’ve hoped Don Magic Juan would have put him on some game. It’s like these chicks out here claiming to be models when they’ve never made a dime from modeling. You’re not a model. You’re just a bitch with Instagram.