Right. So this is what we know: Cole applied to adopt a baby from Ethiopia back in 2009 and apparently he succeeded.

I can’t even hide how much I love this. The cynical part of me wants to hate on him for following the Hollywood path of adopting foreign babies and parading them around like they were a little black designer handbags, but I can’t be mad at this. Look at this picture! Classic high-class Americana. Looks like a goddamned Ralph Lauren ad.

Cole Hamels is officially on the maurice Can’t-Do-Wrong list. And all it took was 216 strikeouts and an adopted African child to get there.