“maurice, you’ve just won the Super Bowl, what are you gonna do??”

[Deadpan] “SOAPLAND.”

It’s astonishing nothing like this exists in the states already. Japan is usually at the forefront for weird tentacle and/or schoolgirl panty-related sexual deviance, but Soapland is a luxury men all across the globe should be enjoying. Women and fancy black males already have manicures and pedicures, in turn men should be able to enjoy a day in Soapland every now and then. Getting my back and Speedo’d penis massaged by soapy Asian breasts and thighs feels like the best possible way to spend a cloudy Sunday afternoon. They’re gonna need some sort of “ending” option for sure after playing tittyball slip and slide with your ass for that long, though. No man should be expected to squeeze that boner back in his jeans and simply walk it off.

PS – Hope she doesn’t mind farting.