I can’t get these in the States yet. Hook it up, Haiti! It’s not right for you guys to just go along hoarding all those delicious dirt cookies while I’m stuck here eating Famous Amos. You guys are selfish. Hogging up all the sunshine and earthquakes and dirt cookies. It’s time to share with your big brother America. We’ll send a few helicopters to swing by and pick up the cookies when they’re done baking on the filthy basketball court asphalt. Just can’t wait to sink my teeth into a double quarter-pound dirt cookie sandwich with cheese and ranch dressing. Mmm. U-S-A! U-S-A!

h/t Buzzfeed