DM – The elephant, a national symbol in Thailand, is facing a new threat because of a developing taste for its meat in the country, it was claimed today. The new interest in consuming the animal includes everything from trunks to sex organs, and could pose a significant risk to the survival of the species. Wildlife officials said that they were alerted to the practice after finding two elephants slaughtered last month in a national park in western Thailand. The poachers took away the elephants’ sex organs and trunks … for human consumption,’ Damrong Phidet, director-general of Thailand’s wildlife agency, said in a telephone interview. He said that some of the meat was being consumed raw, in a elephant meat sushi style. Poachers typically just remove tusks, which are most commonly found on Asian male elephants and command high figures on the black market. But a market for elephant meat, could lead to killing of the wider elephant population, Damrong said. ‘If you keep hunting elephants for this, then they’ll become extinct,’ he said.

So here’s this story about people in Thailand chopping up elephant trucks and dicks to eat them for reasons ranging from “it tastes good” to “it’ll get you hard”. Which is weird because I always thought the Thai people worshiped elephants and were extra nice to them the same way Indian people treat cows. But I guess when it comes to needing to get your boners back, dudes are willing to chop up even their favorite creatures.

But this got me thinking, which exotic animals would I most like to eat? I touched on this before when China got caught eating Koala bears but I was rushed and didn’t give it proper thought.  Not saying that I’m dying to try them or anything, just if I HAD to choose at some obscure Hong Kong restaurant or something, I wanted a definite list. So here it goes, maurice’s exotic animal dinner list:

1. Lion

King of the jungle. No way if given the chance I’m not gonna try to eat lion and absorb some of his strength. You see how scary these things are. There’s gotta be some electrolytes or rare vitamins in their meat that gives you the ability to bench more or something.

2. Flamingo

Only because I think it would be funny to see a pink feather on a plate as garnish. Plus — it’s a bird. Birds taste like birds. Can’t be that bad.

3. Manatee

This one is a crapshoot. Got a weird feeling that manatee could be delicious or the most disgusting meat on the planet. They’re already fattened up. Plus — water mammal? Does it taste like fish or steak? Steak, right? Gotta find out.

4. Elephant

There’s gotta be a reason why the place that loves them the most would turn on them. Elephant must taste good as shit. And there’s just so much of it. Imagine throwing some 300oz elephant steak on the grill. Or frying up a couple elephant dongs that gives you a boner for 5 straight days. Interesting stuff here.

5. Dog

Just to see what all the fuss is about. Dogs are loyal, fun, and obedient creatures. There’s gotta be a reason why Asian countries are chopping them up. People wouldn’t eat a cool animal if it tasted bad, right?

There you have it. Had panda on the list but I’m just not feeling it anymore.  Anything I’m missing here?