Turns out dreaming of playing in the NFL, NBA, NHL, or MLB isn’t the right answer at all. TENNIS is where you wanna be. Think about it: only have to play when you want, no teammates holding you back, crazy high earnings potential, international hoes on lockdown, sophisticated endorsements with watches and banks and shit, and the occasional supermodel shoulder rubdown in between sets. Getting concussion tests and not being able to drive for a month because of light sensitivity and piercing headaches? Fuck. That.

Novak Djokovic made over $12 million in winnings alone last year. He’s married to dime Smokeshow. He doesn’t have to get hit or defend a shitty coach or wear a NASCAR jacket of logos. And oh yeah, he can walk around America without getting mobbed because nobody here cares about tennis.

Check out pics of Djokovic’s wife Jelena Ristic after the jump. No way I let my kid play team sports now.