Reader Email

The white people dancing in this video.

-Anonymous

Great steal by Worldstar, which couldn’t have been that hard since surely there’s some quasi-necro-homosexual dude in LA with a megacrush on 2Pac probably sitting on 30 boxes of rare VHS clips of the guy.

These old dance shows were an American treasure; a format where all the dance moves were embarrassing and all the music was lip sync’d (Soul Train, MTV’s The Grind, etc). There’s something very unnatural about watching grown men dance when they’re not just trying to get their junk as close to a woman’s butt as possible. Truly I have no room to poke fun as a 6’6″ guy dancing rarely looks natural, but I’m going to anyhow because A) I’m not as bad as these people and B) it’s my job.

List!

#4 – Yellow Shirt Overalls Blossom

Natural charisma, possibly the result of being a fashionable 90′s inner-city Latina. Thinking In Living Color J-Lo. The Blossom hat, yellow sweatshirt, and overalls are just an outward expression of her inner self. But really, I’m mostly happy that girls don’t hide their boobs in overalls anymore.

#3 – Black Guy With Light Jeans And Sport Coat

Easily the most uncomfortable looking person on the set. How old are you, guy? Who said to show up in 1992 business casual to the Tupac Shakur dance party? That’s the Wilbon / Charles Barkley look all day. Black shirt with the blazer. Once I begin on that middle aged black guy blazer look I’ll know it’s time to kill myself.

#2 – White Jewishy-Looking Guy In Big Shirt

Oh you expected this guy to shrivel up and tone down his personality because he looks like a tax accountant? Not happening. Money goes through every 90′s dance move in the book — there’s a reason why he’s in the front row.

#1 – Long-Haired Asian Karate-dancing Grandmaster

Like it was even in doubt. Unstoppable rigid dance moves for years. All it took was four feet of thin-tie Asian craziness and Tupac completely lost his spotlight. Mesmerizing movements. It’s like he was IN the song for a while. Closed eyes, arms raised, really ready to be down if his homies call.

Fun Fact: this is actually Ken Jeong.

RIP Tupac.