DMThe town where Osama Bin Laden was killed by US Navy SEALs is to become the new home of a £19million ($30 million) ‘amusement city’ complete with a zoo, water sports and mini-golf, Pakistan’s government has announced. The 20-hectare riverside development on the edge of Abbottabad will also house a string of restaurants, a ski ramp and even a snake pit for tourists’ amusement. Bin Laden died in a hail of bullets as American Special Forces stormed his secret lair on the outskirts of Abbottabad on May 2 2011. ‘The amusement city will be built on 50 acres in the first phase but later will be extended to 500 acres,’ Syed Aqil Shah, the provincial minister for tourism and sports, told AFP. ‘It will have a heritage park, wildlife zoo, food street, adventure and paragliding clubs, waterfalls and jogging tracks.’ Work is due to begin in late February or early March, he said, and will take eight years to complete.

Guess what just replaced Disney World, kids of America?

While the Evil Empire is busy tracking our kids‘ private information to incept them with ideas to buy Mickey merchandise well into middle age, the real action is going to be in Pakistan. Any true patriot now has a new family vacation spot. Why waste thousands in Florida or dragging the kids around boring old Europe when you guys could be paragliding while enjoying the sights around the Bin Laden compound? Maybe you guys stop off for a light lunch at the Al Qaeda Mohammad Is The Only True God Peace Be With Him & Rainforest Cafe before heading out for 18 holes of mini golf? Whoops — watch out for those rivers of symbolic blood!

This is the American middle eastern future George W. dreamed of when he was toppling statues and posing on aircraft carriers. Of course he thought it would happen in Iraq or Afghanistan, but whatever, right? Joe Schmo getting to Ray Lewis dance on Bin Laden’s grave in Pakistan is close enough.