Taylor Swift’d.

“This man just got through talkin about exactly what the fuck he ain’t never did.” Which puts the Mayor in direct opposition with a man like our hero here, an obvious man of action. Rushing stages, wrestling authorities, dressing like Common — it all requires a lot of plotting and execution and the Mayor’s lack of motion just isn’t cutting it in Missouri anymore.  Or Kansas.  Or whatever Kansas City is.

Also, we should all thank CNN for not sending out a local affiliate to go more in-depth with the story to find out who this man was or why he was so upset…because that kind of stuff can just get confusing. Better to just laugh it off and keep enjoying our morning, right? Exactly. Political unrest would totally ruin grapefruit time.