Look at this old Sith Lord Pope with his shimmering gold bullshit and evil empire face. There honestly can’t be a person on the planet who isn’t happy with this year’s Pope exchange. There’s a reason why God made the switch. New Pope is killing every facet of this Pope thing: washing & kissing Muslim prisoner feet, talking about environmental awareness, kissing sick Palsy kids…the guy’s doing it all. He’s on fire. Showing up to Easter mass with the simple white instead of the showy golden Not-What-Jesus-Would-Do glitz was a post-up fadeaway three-pointer right in Old Pope’s rapidly dying face.

So maybe he’s not the Black Pope or the American Pope or even as dark-skinned as maybe we’d wish a Latin American Pope to be. Who cares? Francis is so hilariously running up the score on the old one it doesn’t even matter. No way Old Pope doesn’t hate New Pope’s guts for making him look this bad.