The Waterfall Swing at the 2011 World Maker Faire at the New York Hall of Science. Towering steel swing set holding arrays of 270 mechanical solenoids that create a water plane falling in the path of its riders. Riders pass through openings in a waterfall created by precisely monitoring their path via axel-housed encoders, creating the thrill of narrowly escaping obstacles.
This is why dumb people hate scientists and engineers. Because too many of them waste time, money, and energy creating grand-scale projects that do absolutely nothing. For every self-driving supercar, there’s a gaggle of engineering students jerking off all over each other after finishing an elaborate and pointless Rube Goldberg machine. For every iPhone 5, there’s a loser wasting months constructing a true-to-film Iron Man suit only to wear it ONE TIME shuffling awkwardly around the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center with 50,000 other chronic masturbators.
Fact is, nerds…we’re jealous. We could never construct anything using math or AutoCAD or t-squares. None of us is ever building a radio-controlled airplane by hand or assembling a tiny roller coaster in our backyards. Never ever in reality never. So it pains us to see you throwing away your time and our cool scientific future on waterfall swing sets that don’t even get you wet. What’s the point of this thing, guys? What sane human person would buy this elaborate summertime cocktease? Oh, I can’t wait to get water blueballs as I swing out here in the midday sun fighting off Basal cell skin cancer.
“Creating the thrill of narrowly avoiding obstacles?” This is stupid. You guys are stupid.