SIIn fact, Duncan hates Kevin Garnett. Hates him the way liberals hate Sean Hannity. This information comes from very reliable sources, who talk about how KG has made a career of trying to punk Duncan, baiting him and slapping him and whispering really weird smack into his ear. They talk about how funny this is, because the worst thing you can do as an opponent is piss off Duncan. Then, as Malik Rose says, “he f—— destroys you.” Duncan’s lifetime numbers versus Garnett’s teams, by the way: 20.02 points per game, 12.15 boards and a 29–19 record, including the postseason. Duncan is diplomatic about the topic. Asked if perhaps all those years battling Garnett have softened his feelings for the man, led to a Magic-Larry type of kinship, Duncan leans back on the couch in his hotel room and grins. There is a pause. A longer pause. Finally he says, “Define kinship.”

BFThe story goes that on May 9, 1999 (Mother’s Day), Tim Duncan’s Spurs played Kevin Garnett’s Timberwolves in the first round of the NBA playoffs. During that game, Garnett, who is known for his incessant need to trash talk and intense dislike for any sort of decency did what he does best. He went too far. Just as Tim Duncan was going to take two free throws, Garnett barked at him: “Happy Mother’s Day, motherfucker!” Tim Duncan’s mother famously died of breast cancer the day before his 14th birthday.

I’m sure Garnett loves his “bad boy” persona and all the heat that comes with it, but being a loudmouth all-bark shithead doesn’t make you a bad boy. I respect his game and his accomplishments in his career, but make no mistake: Kevin Garnett is the type of mouthy pussy that Boston fans would otherwise love to hate.

Tim Duncan is the complete opposite.  Which may be a huge reason why Timmy is the greatest power forward to ever play the game and Garnett couldn’t get past the first round without his squadron of superfriends.  TD is all bite and no bark.  All bank shot jumpers and quiet elbows to the side and none of the audible “MOTHERFUCKER” getting picked up by TNT cameras under the basket. Lots of sports writers will say that Duncan “did it the right way,” and while I’m not gonna say there’s a definitive right way to play the game, calling dudes cancer patients and making fun of breast cancer victim moms is definitely the wrong way. That’s not even trash talk — it’s just being a shitty person.

If Garnett was around in the old-old days — in the Larry Bird/Dr.J choke days — he would have been knocked the fuck out at least a handful of times by now.