What’s there to be confused about, Tuiasosopo? You carried on a supergay relationship with another man for over a year. Whether it was a girl on the phone or you doing the greatest girl phone voice impression this world’s ever seen is irrelevant. What matters is the intent. And you fully intended at some point in your life to have your boner touch Manti’s boner. And that makes you gay.
Hey — ain’t nothing wrong with being gay. There’s something VERY wrong about fooling some thick-skulled football moron into loving you because he thinks you’re a hot island chick…but you shouldn’t feel apprehensive about coming out as gay. The apprehension should come from being a scumbag who lies about cancer kids and car accidents for fame.
YOU’RE confused, Roniah? WE’RE confused. The American public is as confused as we can be. Last month Manti Te’o was just some future draft bust with a great story and funny name. Now we’re all involved in his imaginary girlfriend’s life who was actually a gay Christian Youtube singer and we honestly don’t know what the hell to think. But there’s one thing we’re ALL certain of, Tuiasosopo: you gay.