beige mamba

maurice’s Game Notes:

My jumper doesn’t look as Ray Allen smooth as I remember it, but it’s still damn effective. Credit to Moosh and Twist for being good competition; they had this whole King and the Duck vibe goin where you could tell they’ve played together for years. It didn’t help them, but at least they can cry together while braiding either other’s hair.

The only problem with my game — besides my overall inability to get more than 5 inches off the floor — was my endurance. Years of typing about sports instead of actually playing sports has weakened my heart and ruined my lung capacity. Smoking probably doesn’t help. But I’m pretty sure it’s the blogging.

Thinking next game we keep Smitty down low on defense, as his giant wide face will surely clog the lane and make things difficult for any foreseeable opponent. If we do that, and maintain a healthy “pass it to maurice” team philosophy, Team Barstool Philly can’t lose.

Oh yeah, here’s their Game 1 “winning 2-pointer”:

over the line


Smitty’s Game Notes: Holy fuck I’m fat. Between that Jack the Ripper butchery of a haircut and the camera it seems like I’m 40lbs overweight compared to my normal 20.

It may have looked like we were playing Peter Dinklage and Beetlejuice from Howard Stern, but these guys could play some ball and knew how to play together. Twist had great handles and a good shot if you left him open and Moosh’s step back jumper is as money as it gets, no matter the height. Good players, even better people and rappers, but alas, we stepped it up when it matters. Mo is a gamer and his clutch shooting 2-pointers combined with my overall heart of a champion were the keys to victory, hands down.

For the next game, it is HUGE that Mo and I won’t be coming in cold with never playing together. Big difference. But other than that, if I shed a few pounds and grow out my hair again while Mo keeps his Bynum knees in check and gets more of a suntan for greater respect and ability on the court, we should never lose.

PS – You bet your ass I was going balls out every play and sucking in the gut to try to impress their “Team Manager.” No dice.

Also, big thanks to video guy @JohnnyQueso for putting this all together.

one and zero