Note to self: if ever refereeing a Chilean playoff soccer match, DON’T call it a draw because the other ref is about to get stabbed. Let him get stabbed. Let him die right face down in the grass and you just continue on until the match is over. Also — make sure the yellow team wins regardless of the circumstances. The red team…fuck em. They’re not dishing out flying Liu Kang kicks. Those guys can politely accept their loss while you try to make it out of town before the locals start looking at you like a murder witness.
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