complexThat’s right, Bobcats fans (all six of you!). The team just started a new marketing campaign that calls for the price of about 500 upper deck seats at the arena to be adjusted according to whatever draft pick the Bobcats get in the 2012 NBA Draft. If they get the first pick, a seat will cost $1 per game. If they get the second pick, a seat will cost $2 per game. And, so on and so forth. So, it’s conceivable that if the Bobcats get the No. 1 pick, Bobcats fans could watch all of Anthony Davis’ home games next year for less than 50 bucks. And, the furthest the Bobcats can fall in the draft is the fourth pick, which would mean season tickets for the seats would cost just $4 per game or $172 a pop.

Can I just buy season tickets as an outsider and go whenever I feel like it? It might be worth it just to feel like a big shot. Just to take one or two trips to North Carolina and enjoy in my nosebleed season tickets lonely as a motherfucker in that empty-ass stadium. Tell the beer and hot dog guys to just sit down and chill since ain’t nobody at the game to buy booze besides me anyhow. Might be worth it. Where else in the world can you be 100 rows away from Michael Jordan and still have him hear your every word? Hell, that’s worth $43 by itself.

STOP DRESSING YOURSELF, MIKE!!”