Happy Martin Luther King Day everybody!

Obviously the biggest question here is whether or not SpongeKnob’s nuts are actually square, and because I’m all about hard-hitting journalism (and sex puns!) I’ll tough it out and watch the unrated version real quick so I can report back to you guys with the details you expect and deserve.

5 minutes later:

WHELP — Sandy’s got a dick in her mouth. Everyone’s childhood is over.

10 minutes later:

Nuts not visible, only SpongeKnob’s very un-sponge like penis can be seen. Sandy is doing WORK.

12 minutes later:

This isn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be.

15 minutes later:

That…Sandy wasn’t bad. Kinda weird when SpongeKnob started getting excited and blurted out “Kneel down in front of me Sandy!” in a very hurried Spongebob voice. Definitely awkward. Still gonna need some tissues regardless.

America!