Raul Ibanez…that’s my dude. Old journeyman who did his thing here and went on to continue success in pinstripes. Great. Hell I don’t even mind Hunter Pence as much as the average fan — sure his face looks looks kinda doopy and he has ADHD and loves his body like old Lex Lugar, but he’s not a bad person. Jayson Werth is a bad person.
He’s a dick. Probably because we were equally dickish to him when he left us for that private yacht filled with cash a couple years ago, but it doesn’t matter. If sports has told me anything it’s that I can be as angry as I want at players who leave my team for greener pastures — especially if it’s only for more money. Plus he had the nerve to fake out our fans and steal the Phanatic’s keys like it’s cute? The Phanatic’s quad ain’t a game, homey. Lucky you didn’t leave that stadium with a man in a furry green costume re-breaking your wrist.
The WORST. Cold hot tubs forever and ever for Jayson Werth.