Don’t let hatin-ass Dick Stockton and 2 Much Drama get to you. Don’t let your pessimistic friends and family control your thoughts. It was a Game 3 loss. Counts the same whether you lose by 1 or 30. If anything the team will be more fired up to prove themselves Friday.

But seriously, who the fuck put steroids in the Big 3′s Centrum Silver?

PS – Vucevic HAS to be a better option than Hawes at this point.

Welcome Stephanie from West Chester. Not much left to say. Another dominant performance by yours truly and Smitty, we get a great hump-day Smokeshow in Stephanie, and hopefully a big Philly W tonight when the Sixers welcome the C’s to Wells Fargo. Ain’t nothing left to say. LEGGO.

Send Smokes —> PhillyTips@BarstoolSports.com.

Maybe Wiz Khalifa should lay off the Sour Deez next time before riling up the crowd and diving face first into a pit of sand. I mean really, homey — you had everything going your way. You got the hair, the chain, and the 80′s wrestling pump-up slow clap. All you needed was to NOT bust your ass on your takeoff and things would’ve been golden. Now I guess they’re probably bronze at best.

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Mac Miller, you’re a really good rapper with your cover of Gotye. That’s it. Can’t beat the headline, not even going to try to blog.

Don’t hold out on us, I know you got some nipple tats back there.

Thanks Matt

You remember Kaven, right? Apparently he’s a HUGE Pats fan. Like notice how it’s the only sports team on the page. Weird stuff considering how he’s not even from America. Not saying it means anything but…you can draw your own conclusions. Maybe he’ll capture both Rihanna and Tom Brady and turn their fingers into chess pieces or something.

Stay creepy, Kaven.

For those of you who don’t know (and I hope most of you don’t, I only do because I spend all damned day and night on the internet) the much anticipated online RPG Diablo III was released yesterday. And apparently the servers crashed and sent obese America’s blood pressure up like 400 points. I guess this is the equivalent of if your team made it to the Finals, then all of a sudden the cable went out all over the country.

Still, I almost feel like this is too nerdy to be true. This “man” in himself is like the ultimate hipster. It’s played out to be a lisping pimply computer nerd who is literally so fat he CAN’T STAND ON HIS FEET AT WAL-MART. But then since it’s played out, only the cool ironic people should the balls to live like this.  Kinda like a fanny pack.  So by hipster logic this guy is cool…but not at all…and I already don’t care. Either way, I’d rather my son grow up to be a gaping anus in a Kentucky rest stop than live his life like this. REAL TALK.

PRESS 8 PRESS 8 PRESS 8 PRESS 8.

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They’re lucky they got Beckham and Landon Donovan there to save them cause this shit could have been brutal. This time next year I bet Obama (yeah I said it) will be STRUGGLING through this thing.

“Uhh…this has been a great year for the umm San Jose Earthquakes, hasn’t it? No, really, has it? I’m kidding. Umm…we saw some fantastic…kicks…this year, including several I know for a fact probably went into the opposing teams goal. Whiiiich, I hear, is a good thing. I’d especially like to congratulate the MVP of the championship match, this guy to the left here with the hair. He was great my guys told me all about it in the back right before I came out here. Sounds great. WELL….uhhhh….yeah, enjoy the tour, there’s free appetizers in the East Wing, and don’t touch any of the art.”

EL PASO – Robert Gene White, a 67-year-old man, received several lap dances at a Texas strip club Friday night, and when it came time to pay, workers found him unresponsive, KVIA reported. A manager of the Red Parrot in El Paso says employees tried to perform CPR on him, but were unsuccessful. KTSM reported that White suffered a heart attack while being entertained by the dancers. El Paso Sheriff’s deputies told the station that there were no immediate signs of foul play, but the investigation is still open.

What a way to go! Best way to die ever! Fuck that. Robert Gene White didn’t go out in a blaze of glory riding some smokehouse aspiring model in the back room of Sapphire in Las Vegas after blowing 20 lines off of another’s tits. He died in the Red Parrot in El Paso. Some bitch with 4 kids and a vagina straight from the butcher shop’s roast beef section was just sitting on his lap counting down the minutes to her next meth hit. Dude probably died from the overwhelming stench of chlamydia and shattered dreams. But I love how the strippers and management didn’t do shit until the man had to pay up for the night. Bitches were probably riding his dead dick for hours. Gotta at least give Robert Gene White credit for just chillin out alone with his death erection getting free rides to St. Peter.

So as the Red Sox make their way to CBP to face the Phils for a series this weekend, we decided to have a little fun with the Philly and Boston fan bases. The idea? To see if you guys can beat El Pres and myself in a Fan Duel challenge this Friday with $1000 on the line. It’s $5 entry fee and if you’re one-day fantasy baseball team scores better than mine and Prezzies, you get your $5 entry fee back.

I gotta be real with you guys that this particular free roll sort of seems like a scam. Like as soon as I got the email that said you guys have to beat both Pres AND myself I knew it wouldn’t be possible for many (or any) of you to win. Sure, you’ll probably beat Pres’ score because he’s a billion years old and will probably put Darren Daulton and David Eckersley on his team. But do I really believe there are some of you out there that can beat me in fantasy sports? No. The answer is no.

But, hey, I guess if dreaming about $1000 in prizes that is probably mostly going to be mine is something that gets you going then SIGN UP. And do it soon, there are only 200 or so spots open for this challenge.

SIGN UP THROUGH BARSTOOL HERE TO BE ELIGIBLE TO WIN YOUR ENTRY FEE BACK.

Viva La Stool!