"Dude your pupils are doing all types of crazy stuff right now I think you have a concussion."
“Dude your pupils are doing all types of crazy stuff right now I think you have a concussion. You wanna go to the hospital?”
Really enjoyed this clip. Acting’s a little rough around the edges and some of the legal stuff seems like it wasn’t properly researched (you can totally sue your boss for discrimination if he fires you for face tats if your lawyer is crazy enough), but all in all I found it totally worth my time. Which is a tremendous compliment since usually the deficit of attention starts kicking in around the 30-second mark.
Nice work, boys. LET’S GO FLYERS.
Thank you Precious for sparing us the time and getting right to the point.
Must have been a real long story to make it that concise without any details. Thank you Precious for sparing us the time and getting right to the point. Match this thing up with EDP and you’ve got the greatest love connection YouTube has ever produced. Bet he wouldn’t have any issues digging in there to find the goods. The man would go into the darkest depths of hell for some sweets, and venturing up this beast’s rectum to dig out Jelly Beans would fall somewhere between the 5th and 6th levels. 7th assuming she’s a Taco Bell breakfast connoisseur, which is a good assumption.
People still eat Jelly Beans? Seems like something only my grandmother puts out there during Easter that everyone politely ignores along with her health problems and the fact she calls her Korean mailman, “Chinaking”. Would rather eat a loaf of bread baked in a Sumo Wrestler’s Dutch Oven than a black, licorice Jelly Bean. Sick stuff. Only thing worse would be ingesting Candy Corn. Vile things should only be reserved for captured terrorists. Going through a waterboarding session or having your nuts endure electroshock theory is a cakewalk compared to eating those little shits every meal to survive.
He ain't ya man, ma. You need to curve.
He ain’t ya man, ma. You need to curve. Take all that drama and be gone with it. That’s not the type of attention a young Don like this needs. Little mans got the clothes, got the moves, got sideline chicks breaking their necks to press up on him — hes got it all. Which is exactly why he doesn’t need is some messy-haired younger jawn catching feelings and acting out from a two-second dance with a sideline chick. Calm down all that drama, mama. This is big boy pimpin. Cutting a rug with or without you. You don’t see the other broad trippin. Need to curve with all that bullshit.
Abort the bullpen. All of it.
Looks eerily similar to the heart removal scene from Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom. Can’t hate on the fans trying to do everything they can to get the mojo in the right direction. If the Phillies are going to essentially going to rely on prayer with this late term abortion of a bullpen, there’s no reason the fan’s can’t attempt to put a queer wicker spell on Dan Uggla. Embarrassing? Yes. But you do what you gotta do to win.
But in the end it’s the unbridled enthusiasm of
Billy Mumphrey joy and hope shattered by reality. Down 2-1 going into the 8th of a good game vs. a better team, there was reason to be optimistic. Roberto Hernandez gave 6 strong innings, Chase Utley is playing arguably the best ball of his career and, shit, even Ryan Howard went yard (solo shot per usual, of course) to earn that $25 million this year. Then B.J. Rosenberg (who?) waddled in and proceeded to give up back to back to back dingers to the only 3 batters he faced, which was THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1914 THAT HAS HAPPENED.
Still, down 5-1, the Phillies loaded up the bases in the bottom of the 8th. After a strike out by Ryan Howard that even Helen Keller could’ve seen coming from a mile away, Marlon Byrd singled then Dom Brown went hit a go-ahead 3 run blast to put the Phils up 6-5. Magic. Go into the 9th and one of the highest paid closers in baseball couldn’t pitch because we had to use his services in three straight games against the powerhouse that is Miami Marlins, so in comes hard throwing left hander Jake Diekman to attempt his first career save. Here’s exactly how it went (starts at :35):
A walk followed by an aggressive, yet stupid play by Chase, then another walk. Got a strike out with the bases juiced which was nice before Dan Uggla hit a salomi towards South America. As Mo blogged last night, fans didn’t react too well to Diekman’s performance.
That’s why this GIF is so perfect. Really don’t understand how Dan Uggla gets 40 hits all year and somehow they’re all home runs against the Phillies, but that’s not even here nor there. This isn’t THAT bad of a team so far, but they’re more of a cocktease than a high school broad trying to score some Adderall. So hard to watch. Put this GIF on a t-shirt and call it a season, cause it’s not going to get any better.
Earring bro on the right has seen some serious shit. The brawl he starts at a Delco bar later is going to have more gusto than usual.
The assholes who made this blog are the real fans. They're the asshole glue that holds our city together. Thank you, Asshole Glue Fans.
In reality most fans said some version of “one game doesn’t make a season” and “shake it off”, but those fans are boring. The assholes who made this blog are the real fans. They’re the asshole glue that holds our city together.
Thank you, Asshole Glue Fans. You’re all the best.
So just remember, pitcher who just had a bad game, Steve the CONSERVATIVE Philly fan who also enjoys nascar, “book reading”, photography, hiking, music, supporting causes, and “other sports” is totally going to smack you or anyone associated with you. Keep your head on a swivel, Jake.
Introducing Caitlin from West Chester. Golden Rams making a comeback into the Smoke ranks to lead off the week. You manage to look that cute at an ATM machine you can manage to pull off looking good anywhere. Send in the Smokes. Email the Facebook links of nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com Also, the Barstool Blackout tour [...]
Click here to view with the old Gallery.
Introducing Caitlin from West Chester. Golden Rams making a comeback into the Smoke ranks to lead off the week. You manage to look that cute at an ATM machine you can manage to pull off looking good anywhere.
Send in the Smokes. Email the Facebook links of nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com
Also, the Barstool Blackout tour returns to Philly on April 25. Click here and get your tix now before it sells out. ALL SMOKESHOWS GET IN FOR FREE.
Facebook is about as 2009 as it gets.
Facebook is about as 2009 as it gets. But I guess this is a simple way to snipe out those “friends” who you inevitably haven’t talked to in years (or ever) that like the New York Rangers. Really get back at them by unfriending them and continuing to ignore their presence in any sort of reality. Seriously. Don’t even know who two of those five people who have hopped on the douchewagon and am only “friends” with the two chicks because the random vacation cleavage shots are a welcomed hit every so often. Maybe next time the Flyers can step it up a notch and do the same thing with Penguins fans but add their addresses and SSN’s. Anyone who willingly defends the walking labia that is Sidney Crosby deserves to have heat dropped through their sunroofs and identity’s given to multiple Nigerian Princes.
Get those beards ready dance on Thursday. Sure we haven’t won in NYC since Jeff Carter was regularly trying to sleep with your girlfriend in 2011, but we’re due baby. We’re freaking due. #WhyNotUs?
The lesson here: don’t make life any harder than it has to be. Other lesson: old Russian men get way drunker than you.
The lesson here: don’t make life any harder than it has to be.
Other lesson: old Russian men get way drunker than you.