Kill 'em all and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
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Take down the competition. Kill ‘em all and let the paramedics sort ‘em out!
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Didn't see that one coming.
TENN - Before the kickoff, a driving thunderstorm roared in and strategically-timed lightning bolts kept delaying the start of the season for the Temple Owls Thursday night at Vanderbilt. The stadium had to be cleared several times, players banished to the locker room. At almost 11 o’clock Eastern time, officially 92 minutes late, the opener began. None of it bothered Temple, none of it mattered. Never mind that the Owls were two-touchdown underdogs. They embarrassed Vanderbilt, 37-7. That’s the proper word for it. The home team used three quarterbacks and each struggled more than the previous one. (The third threw an interception on his first play in, and it wasn’t his last.)
The line opened at +15.5 and moved down to +9 before kickoff, so you knew something was up. Even so, waltzing into a SEC school and opening the can of whoopass to the tune of 37-7 shows something. A lot. Sure, it’s not Alabama, but this is freaking Temple. A team that has historically struggled in mediocraty since most of us were born. They’ve had some moments under Al Golden before he hightailed to The U and Steve Addazio before went home to BC, but for the most part they’ve been the toilet paper of college football. Hopefully this is the start of a big turnaround. I Would LOVE to have a stable college football team in this city at the D-I ranks. Nova, Delaware, Penn, West Chester – They’re all fun to root for but can you imagine the hype in this town if in 10 years Temple qualified for the college playoffs? It’ll NEVER happen, but there would be hysteria not seen since your typical Tuesday night in North Philly.
Rutgers also squeaked out a nice little come from behind victory last night, winning 41-38 behind 17 points in the 4th quarter. A point for every new STD discovered per semester on campus. It was over Washington State, but whatever. A win is a win is a win.
This pup runs a faster 40 like that than I would normally.
Get some, Jiff! No shot this toy with a heartbeat isn’t controlled by a remote. This pup runs a faster 40 like that than I would normally.
And how about toots coming in from out town automatically knowing Jiff’s life story? His favorite thing is to take a walk down Hollywood Boulevard? I’m going to say he’d rather take a hump out of your leg. Actually, who wouldn’t want to take a shot at those Casting Couch glasses? Guinness knows how to play the game.
No idea if she has children or not, but YUUUUP.
So worth it.
source – After the camera went off, people were clapping and cheering while the guy was being dragged to the principal’s office. He got 5 days Out of School Suspension, and became our school’s hero.
Worth it. So, so, so worth it. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and this kid saw his opportunity and didn’t even blink. 5 days of chastising from the mom is nothing compared to a lifetime of legendary status. And I say just the mom because if his father is any sort of a real Pop, he’ll put up the front of being angry but give a wink and a smile of approval. Dad’s gonna dad.
Well if you haven't adopted an EPL team just yet, looks like you can cross Manchester United off your list.
Yahoo – Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un was ALWAYS going to be a Manchester United fan. The 31-year-old’s love for the traditionally communist colour that the Red Devils wear almost certainly played a part in his devotion to the Old Trafford outfit, and so, too, must have his love for Wayne Rooney. According to The Mirror, Kim has reportedly ordered state TV to broadcast United’s future matches on national television as part of a scheduling revamp that will also see shows that teach viewers how to ride a horse and play golf.
Well if you haven’t adopted an EPL team just yet, looks like you can cross Manchester United off your list. It must be a weird feeling for any current Man Utd knowing now that they have a lot more in common with Kim Jong-Un than they previously would have considered. This is such a Kimmy move I can’t even stand it. What’s next? Big Kimbo pledges his allegiance to the Dallas Cowboys? He’s probably a huge Cavs fan right now after getting rid of all his Heat gear this summer. This move just further solidified my belief that Kim Jong-Un is a follower and there are grand-total of zero reasons to fear a follower. So when it comes to any foreign affairs in the future, Kim Jong-Un just showed his hand big time. Such a try hard. And even though this may not be the greatest look in the world for Manchester United, at least they can be proud of their undefeated season according to North Korean television.
P.S. – Would be the furthest thing from surprised if the North Korean government decided to slip this highlight into every game they air.
Wait, was that a Tim Rattay sighting? It's a shame the talent didn't evolve with the technology.
Oh how far we’ve come. Wait, was that a Tim Rattay sighting? It’s a shame the talent didn’t evolve with the technology. Didn’t Ken Dorsey get time for the 49ers too during their dark years? Also nice to see Charlie Garner in there dancing around for a bit. Thunder and Lightning was an excellent one-two punch of Ricky “For Who, For What?” Watters and Mr. Garner that I haven’t thought of in over a decade…and now I’m looking up old Eagles clips from the ’90′s and won’t productive all day. Damn you, Madden.
Here’s The Catch II in real life. Before, you know, T.O. became Lord Of The Dicks and single handedly ruined franchises. Always had the talent…
Stop the fight!!!
Stop the fight!!!
Screw the fact our scrubs absolutely ragolled the 4th stringers of the Jets tongiht. Cody Parkey has officially won the kicking job. I don’t care if he looks like a pee-wee player who needs help putting on his helmet, the rookie can straight boot.
Alex Henery, the 4TH ROUND PICK in 2011 (Justin Tucker was an undrafter FA that year, FYI) has the longest career FG of 51 yards. Tonight, Parkey booted both a 54 and 53 yarder with room to spare. Add on another 25-yard FG with kickoffs 9-yards deep that make it move when Merrill Reese goes nuts over a kickoff. Trust me, when Pencil Neck’s KO’s last year would consistently fall 5-yards before reaching the endzone, that would make you go from 6 to midnight, too. That cracker with limbs not only missed 40-50 yarders badly last season, but he SHANKED a 31-yard attempt earlier this preseason. Safe to say his time is up.
ALL HAIL CODY LEGS.
Introducing Kaitlyn from Temple. Some hot Owl heat coming your way to end the Smoke week. NEED MORE SMOKES!!! Send nominations into Phillytips@barstoolsports.com
Introducing Kaitlyn from Temple. Some hot Owl heat coming your way to end the Smoke week.
NEED MORE SMOKES!!! Send nominations into Phillytips@barstoolsports.com
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