It's no secret that the Flyers defense is just a very very sad unit at the moment.
It’s no secret that the Flyers defense is just a very very sad unit at the moment. With Coburn and MacDonald out for 4 weeks each and the Spooky Ghost Bear still needing some more time to develop in the AHL, it comes as no surprise that the Flyers would be searching to bring in basically anyone at this point to at least add a bit of veteran depth to the mix. While the rumors about trying to acquire Ryan Whitney would have been great just for my own selfish reasons, I’m not 100% sure how well that would have actually played out for the Orange and Black. So here we have Carlo Colaiacovo and if there’s any reason to be happy about this signing, it’s because Carlo Colaiacovo is not Hal Gill. Other than that, it’s basically a toss up on how he’ll do in Philly. But I was legitimately terrified that the Flyers were gonna try to bring back that grocery stick. Could you imagine that travesty? The 31-year-old Colaiacovo has been bit by the injury bug a few times and never really came close to reaching his potential after being a first-round draft pick in 2001. But the Flyers are in desperate need of another defenseman and Colaiacovo is in desperate need of a job so let’s just cross our fingers and hope this experiment turns into a win-win scenario. That’s really all there is to it though. Pretty much a “close your eyes and shoot for net” move from Hextall. If it works out, he’s a genius. If it doesn’t, at least we won’t have to bother with learning how to spell that last night.
That brings me to a few quick last things to mention about Colaiacovo. 1) That last name is absolutely bruuuutal to type. Need a nickname and need one fast or else its going to be a very long season of blogging/tweeting. And 2) This gif has probably been Colaiacovo’s greatest contribution to hockey thus far in his career so just get used to seeing it some more.
I'm gonna say that 12-year-old in the pink "Trainer" shirt isn't NASM certified.
I wonder if this kid will go out of his way to tell people he no longer has use of his legs as fast as he would bring up he placed 8th in the last neighborhood Crossfit games. Also, I’m gonna say that 12-year-old in the pink “Trainer” shirt isn’t NASM certified. Sitting Indian style in front then retreating when he’s about to go tit’s up is a solid way to spot.
This is reminiscent of Dr. Meatstick shattering his neck mid-clean in the video the Internet was going bananas over yesterday but we had up in June. Need to breathe before the Lunk Alarm sounds, pal.
Introducing Allie from West Chester. BOOM! Another beautiful blonde bombshell to end the Smoke week. That’s how you finish, folks. Need to reload with Smokes – Send all nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com.
Introducing Allie from West Chester. BOOM! Another beautiful blonde bombshell to end the Smoke week. That’s how you finish, folks.
Need to reload with Smokes – Send all nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com.
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If you're saving beer bottle caps I'm not too sure you should be destroying the PS-II and 16-in Apex TV.
“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!” That’s evident. It would be tough to care about anything if you’re invested that much into a Cowboys regular season game. Also, if you’re saving beer bottle caps I’m not too sure you should be destroying the PS-II and 16-in Apex TV. Those possessions are worthy of a king for someone who looks like they’re on the Arby’s 401K plan (at least they’re probably offered health insurance).
Guy’s got a sweet Rebel Yell there at 2:18. Probably gets all the lady Rednecks wet for Rodeo/mating season.
Hey guys, R-E-L-A-X.
Hey guys, R-E-L-A-X. Kind of digging your own grave already leading off with “Would you like to chat? ”. Might as well follow up with a M/21/Heaven like it’s a 1998 AOL Chatroom.
Never understood the move to go apeshit when told no. Getting anonymously rejected by a stranger should be such a brush off. A standard “Eh, fuck it” and live another day to catch literally millions of other desperate fish in the online dating sea. If these guys ever got shot down in real life at a bar they’d probably go postal on the place. But then again an anonymous stranger is just as fulfilling for some people who live in Hardoville.
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Gonna miss up to 6-8 weeks because he was training too damn hard to be a mascot, still refuses to leave the ice.
Yahoo – The Nashville Predators have a player out of the lineup. He’s not going on long-term injured reserve; then again, he doesn’t count against their salary cap anyway…The ‘him’ they refer to is the Predators Day One mascot Gnash. The furry creature – or the guy in the suit – suffered a broken leg during offseason training and has been on the shelf from doing normal mascot duties for 6-8 weeks. While the Predators could have easily put another guy in the suit and most casual fans probably wouldn’t have known the difference, the person who plays “Gnash,” who refuses to identify himself publicly, nixed the idea, and said he wanted to stick around and help game presentation as much as he could.
So the guy who plays “Gnash” has to be the biggest lunatic in the world, right? I mean here’s a guy who broke his leg while mascot training. Gonna miss up to 6-8 weeks because he was training too damn hard to be a mascot. And now here is out, broken foot and all, just flat out refusing to let the Nashville Predators find a replacement mascot for the time being. He comes out and says, “I honestly love my job and watching someone else do it is extremely difficult.” This is a man who wakes up every morning and the first thing on his mind is being a mascot. When he goes to bed at night with his head resting there on his pillow, all he can think about is doing mascot shit. He’s probably taken off that Gnash suit maybe a total of 2 times since he got it and I feel like I’m high balling him. He’s mascot-ing through all different types of adversity and you know what? It’s working. Through 9 games the Preds are 6-1-2. I mean maybe Gnash got a little too cocky as the team’s only loss in regulation so far this season came the day after that tweet you saw above was fired out. But still, the team is playing hard and I think the mascot is playing just as hard if not harder. I respect the hustle. He’s also gotta be a psychopath but I feel like that comes with the territory of being a mascot. He goes out there with clear eyes and a full heart every night and does what he can at his capacity. And people thought MJ was heroic during the flu game. Would loooove to see Michael Jordan try to play basketball with a broken foot. Advantage, Gnash.
Program this robotic broad to make the world's greatest Turkey Club and we've got ourselves a wife.
It’s almost here. Where Simon’s fantasy soon turns into reality. I’d bet hard cash that she ain’t no virgin already with the sickos they have over there in Japan. She needs a few improvements here and there but dammit this emo-Asian ro-broad is close to the perfect woman. Young, cute and silent. Program her to make the world’s greatest Turkey Club and we’ve got ourselves a wife. Still wouldn’t trust her on the roads.
Seriously though, if these things become realistic enough what would be the point of stressing over something real? I’ll take a dozen Nina Agdal’s into the locked basement and call it a life. The end is nigh for the human race.
This comment section should be civilized.
DM from @MainLineDouche (a must follow Philly Twitter account, especially for anyone who grew up in the Northwest suburbs) – Went to the spirit halloween shop on walnut during my lunchbreak today. Snapped this picture.
Or maybe the mask maker should switch up their template a bit. Just a thought.
This comment section should be civilized.