Canadian Junior Hockey Coach Gives An Antagonistic Interview For The Ages While Dropping HARD F-Bombs

One thing's for sure, I pray there's nobody waiting at home for Paul Fixter and his pent up wrath.

CBS – Being a junior hockey coach can be a frustrating ordeal. Unlike dealing with professionals, the junior-aged players are all under 20 years old and prone to making mistakes both on and off the ice. Add in the pressure of dealing with local media in small hockey-loving markets across Canada and there’s even more to put a coach on edge. Sudbury Wolves head coach Paul Fixter was most definitely on edge following the team’s 7-2 loss at the hands of the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds. Making matters worse, Sudbury fell to 1-10 on the season.

Hilarious and petrifying at the same time. That kid interviewer wasn’t even doing his job and he almost got 2 minutes for instigating. Fixter was a question and a loose screw away from dropping the gloves and his career in hockey. Forget the interviewers being nervous, I half chuckled and was worried he’d come through the screen and pummel my ass into the next generation. I wouldn’t want to be around when Sunbury goes 10 games under .500 after their 12th game.

One thing’s for sure, I pray there’s nobody waiting at home for Paul Fixter and his pent up wrath. That first ballot domestic violence by a coach would only be behind Bobby Cox and whatever submission move Lingerie Football great Chris Michaelson of the Seattle Mist gives his wife after a loss.

By smitty posted October 24th, 2014 at 10:15 AM

Is Shia Labeouf Back To Douche Or Is This Kind Of Funny Now?

I'm not so sure what to think anymore.
sh

 
A couple of weeks ago I would’ve blogged this as The Lord Of The Douche continuing to smite thee. But now, I’m not so sure what to think. I just can’t kick his drunken arrest story to the curb. In my mind he was one of us after telling that epic tale (a MUST WATCH if you haven’t already). I picture him blacked out of his gourd coming out of a bingo hall boozing with WWII vets in that t-shirt before swiping a tall Natty from the nearest bum. That’s the new Shia I want to believe in, not a Hipster Dufus.

And here’s a gay men’s choir with others doing some sort of live poetry reading on Shia that I found a lot more entertaining than I should. No, I’m not sure if I like what I’ve become.
 

By smitty posted October 24th, 2014 at 9:35 AM

(Former) Powerhouse CB West Football Program Suspended The Rest Of The Season For Fake Waterboarding And Nut Grabbing

What the shit is the "Sugar-Cookie"?
cbwest

DOYLESTOWN, Pa. (WPVI) — The Central Bucks School District announced Thursday the cancellation of the remainder of the Varsity and Junior Varsity football seasons at Central Bucks High School West. The school district also said that all members of the football team coaching staff have been suspended. The moves come as the result of an ongoing internal investigation into allegations of hazing. Sources tell Action News that the players engaged in an activity called “sugar-cookie”, in which players douse others with water and then dump talcum powder on players. Officials say the alleged incidents, which occurred during the team’s preseason, only recently came to light. The school district said the learned of the hazing on October 14th, and immediately launched an investigation – interviewing team members and the entire coaching staff. In a statement, Superintendent David Weitzel said, “Based on all available, verified information gathered from an ongoing internal investigation into allegations of improper conduct by numerous Central Buck West football team members, and the failure of coaching staff to properly supervise activities, swift and firm action is absolutely necessary.”

 

Kids these days. Trying to go all out with their waterboarding and sack grabbing. What the shit is the “Sugar-Cookie”? No need to get that creative. Back in the day it was your standard Thank You Sir May I Have Another until the paddle/broomstick/whiffleball bat (by far the worst of the three) couldn’t deliver enough umph. Maybe that’s why the perennial powerhouse of the state was 2-6 this season before calling it quits.

Before Hard Knocks, 24/7 and any of these documentaries that took you inside teams, there was The Season. The story of North Penn’s journey led by current Browns HC Mike Petine which climaxed when he faced his father’s CB West dynasty. A great watch if you can find it.
 

By smitty posted October 23rd, 2014 at 5:50 PM

Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Emily

Introducing Emily from St. Joesph’s University. Another day, another fire smoke from the Hawks. And keep on sending in the smokes: Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

Introducing Emily from St. Joesph’s University. Another day, another fire smoke from the Hawks.

And keep on sending in the smokes: Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

By smitty posted October 23rd, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Soccer Streaker Gets A Clubbing And A Half From La Policia

This isn't a friendly game of tag where you can be a pussy and call "timeout" at will.

Whoa whoa whoa. I’m not saying he should have been clubbed like a baby Seal, but he deserved to be smacked for thinking everything would be cool if he gave himself up. Streaking: 101. This isn’t a friendly game of tag where you can be a pussy and call “timeout” at will. Once you’re on the field of play it’s forever kill the man without the ball or escape. No in between. Actually, he’s lucky a baton to the kisser is all he got. If they’re playing in a country where I’m going to randomly stereotype as the Middle East, people have lost a lot more for a lot less. If he stole a pack of gum before taking the field he’s not leaving the stadium with both of his hands.

By smitty posted October 23rd, 2014 at 4:15 PM

PK Subban in “Thriller” Costume is the Most Terrifying Thing I’ve Ever Seen

Between this look and the farting, you think anyone would ever want to find themselves going 1-on-1 into the corner with him?

subbanthriller

 

Shit, meet pants. I’m petrified right now, scared completely stiff. If I was PK Subban, I feel like I’d just have to go to hair&makeup before every game and just stay in Thriller mode all season long. Between this look and the farting, you think anyone would ever want to find themselves going 1-on-1 into the corner with him? Yeah right, get real. Those eyes are the craziest thing I’ve ever seen, and are those PK’s actual hands? Those meaty paws are legitimate banana hands. Dude probably has a monster hang down. But yeah, this is terrifying and it’s also one of the most impressive Halloween costumes I’ve seen in a while. Gotta be honest, there’s something a little strange about a grown ass man going to these lengths just to play dress-up for Halloween, but it sure beats the hell out of that punk bitch Crosby throwing on a fedora and a black eye and calling himself Rocky.

The best Halloween costume I ever had was Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. 8-year-old me was way cooler than 2014 me. After that I just went on a tear and have been a cow ever since. May need to step up my game this year.

h/t Puck Daddy

By jordie posted October 23rd, 2014 at 3:20 PM

Update On The Smokeshow With Brain Cancer And Little Baby Charlotte

Well done, Stoolies. Well done indeed.
charlotte

charlotte1

Smitty,

First off, I’d like to thank you, barstool, and all the stoolies for helping us this year. Fucking ridiculous how much money we raised in that 24 hour window.

We were able to make a $10,000 donation to charlotte’s family. My sister delivered the check to them last night. We will also be making a donation to someone I coach with at West Chester East, our D-Line coach’s wife, who has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer. And finally, a 3rd donation will be made to CHOP.

Please feel free to share with all those who donated, or simply keep to yourself….but one things for sure. We all made a difference in Charlotte’s life and when stoolies come together for the common good, shit gets done.

Thanks again bro.

Viva,

Mike

ORIGINAL BLOG WITH VICTORIA AND BABY CHARLOTTE HERE

So there you have it. All in all over $15K was raised in that 24 hours when the original blog was posted. If there’s one thing about Stoolies I pride more than anything else is we look out for and take care of our own. We’re a family here. We can bust each other’s balls to the ends of the Earth but as soon as an outsider takes a shot we’re all ready to fight. And, like #HELMETSTRONG (RIP), I’m happy to say one came through again. The goal was shattered to the point where other families were able to be helped, too. Well done, Stoolies. Well done indeed.

Please continue to keep Victoria and baby Charlotte in your thoughts and prayers. The GoFundMe page is still open, too, so keep on spreading the word for this great cause. No amount donated is too small.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO THE VICTORIA ROSE FUND

By smitty posted October 23rd, 2014 at 2:20 PM

Kevin Kolb’s Concussion Symptoms May Not Be Worth The $47+ Million He Was Essentially Donated Playing Ball

Worth it in my already mushed mind.
kolb

SI – With concussions, sometimes you don’t know what is a symptom and what is not. But some symptoms are impossible to ignore. The ringing is like someone shooting a shotgun right next to my ear, every second of every day. It doesn’t go away. The sensitivity to light also has a profound impact. I’ll be in a business meeting indoors and have to politely ask to put on my sunglasses before the headaches and double vision start. But I can deal with those symptoms. The short-term memory loss is more difficult. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m just busy with a very full schedule and that’s why I can’t remember everything, or if it’s a concussion symptom.

I’m one of those “If you can’t handle the heat, get your ass out the kitchen and ESPECIALLY don’t take the paycheck” kind of guys. Would I take $47 million and risk the possibility of my brain melting every time someone shines a light in my eyes like the Sloth victim from Se7en? Absolutely, but I don’t speak for everyone.

Kolb gets a lot of crap for being an overpriced, overrated bum. If you’re solely looking at the statsheet then he fits the bust description perfectly. Nobody got more money for doing less than Corn On The Concussed Kolb. However, nobody really thinks about the shit he was/is going through because of the game. Could you sit in a cube with a fire alarm going off in your ear and be productive? Shit no. Imagine how Kolb felt while trying to memorize a playbook. And it’s not just him. Jim McMahon is only 55 and he can barely remember his own name let alone what he was doing just 5 minutes ago. May not be worth it to some people to play in the NFL and risk living their life literally in the dark.

Still…$47 million buys a lotta nice sunglasses. Worth it in my already mushed mind.

By smitty posted October 23rd, 2014 at 1:30 PM
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