High Schooler Throws Down From The Foul Line And I have 0 Idea What To Think Of His Celebration Dance

Mesmerizing.

Borderline travel in the NBA.

I’m not knocking the kid on the kid because the dunk is impressive at any level, but we’ve seen it before and we’ll see it again. He throws down two handed from the free-throw line or takes flight from the top of the key and then we’ll talk. Granted, the gym might have exploded like a dark dirty bomb due to the celebration, but we’ll talk. I’m here for that mesmerizing post slam shake. My awkward whiteness has been informed the dance is known as the Nae Nae, but still, I can’t stop watching it. It’s like I took a bucket full of Addy and I’m left in a room alone with one of those damn 3D-Magic posters. There’s no reason for it, I’m just glued. Stomp on, young chap.

dunks
By smitty posted July 28th, 2014 at 11:40 AM

Ryan Howard Actually Asked Another Human Being: “Would You Like To Switch Places? You Want To See What It’s Like?”

I would call him a walking vagina but even a labia with legs could hit a curveball off a lefty every once in a blue moon.

700level – Faced with some tough questions after the Phils’ 4-2 win on Sunday, a less-than-magnanimous Howard sarcastically asked a reporter if he wants to trade places. “You want to trade places? You want to see what it’s like?” Before any reporters could ask their next question—which presumably would’ve been Where do I get in line?—Howard answered for them. “No, you don’t.”

WOW. He was already despised for making so much and caring so little. But with that, Ryan Howard has crowned himself the least liked athlete in Philadelphia. Let the fans eat cake. I would call him a walking vagina but even a labia with legs could hit a curve ball off a lefty every once in a blue moon.

Yo, bro. You make $25 MILLION a year for playing a kid’s game. Yeah, you get scrutinized for your shitty play on the field like you’re under a magnifying glass. Big whoop. THIS IS THE HOUSE YOU’RE GOING TO LIVE IN WHEN IT’S FINALLY DONE. That billion dollar Florida mansion has a Lazy River for Christ’s sake. People have to deal with shit everyday in their miserable lives and don’t have fuck you money they can go home and Scrooge McDuck in to relax. I get boo’d and threatened multiple times a day and I consider tuna outside the can a delicacy delivered by the God’s. So, please Ryan, spare us the pity party before the great memories become overshadowed for good.

Meanwhile, here’s Papa John’s with the cocktease of the century to every single Phillies fan out there who would like the opportunity to have 50% off of shitty pizza.

papajohns

They need to score 5 runs, AND win the game? There’s a better shot at Ben Revere having the strength to get it out of the infield on the fly than both of those scenarios happening.

By smitty posted July 28th, 2014 at 10:40 AM

The Simpsons And Family Guy Released A Preview Of Their Crossover Episode Because Nothing Really Matters Anymore

What do you get when you combine two iconic shows that haven't been relevant in years?

What do you get when you combine two iconic shows that haven’t been relevant in years? Inside jokes and references preying on people’s nostalgia of the good ol’ days. And rape jokes told by babies. The Bob’s Burger’s and Cleveland Show references was good, but a likely 5+ min fight replacing the Chicken with Homer is a reach and a half for something that just isn’t there anymore. Would be like if Jerry Seinfeld still told airplane peanut jokes or if bloggers referenced movies and TV shows in every single post. Sometimes you need to find new stuff for the good of the audience. Plus didn’t The Simpsons writers once commend South Park for making fun of Family Guy by saying “You’re doing God’s work”? Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Believe it:

fam

fam1

By smitty posted July 28th, 2014 at 9:45 AM

I Can’t Stop Watching Otis The Dog Truck Stick Life

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS!

CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS! Don’t understand what’s going on here. Don’t care. All I know is Otis is running shit on two legs better than Terrell Davis in his prime. I would be hauling ass too if I were owned by some psycho who laughed like that. Would rather have a laugh that sounds like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.

By smitty posted July 26th, 2014 at 12:30 PM

MISSION SOMEWHAT ACCOMPLISHED: Rihanna Is Now Following Joel Embiid On Twitter

And so it continues.
rihanna

If you want it, go and get it. For crying out loud.

Your standard romance. First comes love, then comes the Twitter follow, then the baby in the baby carriage. Maybe a STD or 12 thrown in there along the way. Hopefully Embiid can stick a few in the hoop before he sticks his dick in crazy. Let whoever the hell Class Villain is flattop the batshit out of her first.

#WeAllFromAfrica

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 7:05 PM

Literally Everything Else From Your Childhood Taking You Into The Weekend

Trapper Keepers. Street Sharks. DONKEYLIPS!

Trapper Keepers. Street Sharks. DONKEYLIPS! RIP, because there’s no chance that actor’s still alive. If he is, he has to deal with no longer being Donkeylips. If you can call that living.

Let’s have a weekend.

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 5:20 PM

Friday Afternoon GIF City

Almost the end.
giffable

 

Our new feature on Friday afternoons during the summer. If you’re stuck in front of the computer at this point you deserve the most mindless, enjoyable material to help pass the time. So here it is: 10 or so random GIFS from the Internets to put the mind at ease for a couple minutes. Simple as that. Could be hot, funny, painful, new, old – whatever works. Enjoy.

Read the rest of this entry »

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 4:20 PM

With All This Domestic Violence And Respecting Women Talk, Let’s All Turn To The Wise Bill Burr For Guidence

Time to take a step back to learn and maybe laugh.
marriage

I’m not AT ALL saying the now Mrs. Rice deserved to get cold cocked in an AC elevator or that rape is a joke. Not at all. But shit’s been getting pretty nuts out there. In times like these where everyone has an opinion and swear it’s right, we need to take a step back to learn and maybe laugh. We need a hero to break out of the custody of the PC Police to take charge and tell it like it is.

For that, we turn to the Ginger and his words:

There is NO reason to hit a woman:

Epidemic of Gold Digging Whores:

BONUS: Motherhood:

By smitty posted July 25th, 2014 at 3:30 PM
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