Here’s Andrew Wiggins Schooling An Unathletic White Guy For His Official NBA Workout Video

Brilliant move one upping everyone by sending out an edited video of you dunking out of your shoes and crossing up Jeff Hornacek.

Brilliant. Choke in the NCAA tournament against stellar competition? One up everyone by sending out an edited video of you dunking out of your shoes vs the air and crossing up Jeff Hornacek. And I’m talking about today’s Jeff Hornacek who I always forget is a NBA head coach, not the pasty white guy who could shoot from the parking lot for the Sixers in the early ’90′s but couldn’t move to save his life.

Whatever, I still want this freak of nature on the team. We put our trust in the tank, and now we reap the benefits. Time’s yours, Cavs. And judging by it being Cleveland’s ultimate decision, whatever choice they make will end up being the wrong one.

By smitty posted June 25th, 2014 at 4:40 PM

Get A Load Of This Bro Riding Beyond Dirty On The Back Of His Woman’s Scooter In Rittenhouse Sq.

Hopefully his balls are nestled somewhere in that backpack.
emasculated

 

READER EMAIL: Haha

Saw this dude in Rittenhouse yesterday. Totally emasculated.

 
Whoa there, no helmet? Best take it easy or Hell’s Angels might get jealous. I can’t even imagine what kind of ruckus she’s going to allow him to raise once he gets off that moped. Possibly buy a Yankee Candle or two then go raid a Gender Revealing party. That’s before the nice little Saturday they have planned of going to Home Depot and maybe a little Bed Bath & Beyond if they have time. For his sake I pray his balls are nestled somewhere in that backpack.

 

 

 

BONUS READER EMAIL: Mcdonalds

Saw this lady getting her post church meal down on broad street.

Viva

Mike

dirty

 

Can’t hate on what works.

By smitty posted June 25th, 2014 at 3:50 PM

Another Day, Another Absolute Flip Out By A Lingerie Football Coach During Halftime

Only a matter of time before this guy puts the entire team on trial by combat vs himself.

Legit question: How many more of these rants does Seattle Mist head coach Chris Michaelson have left in him before the vein in his neck explodes and takes out the entire city block? And is that a wedding ring I spy with my little eye? That dame must really think she hit the jackpot when she’s literally dodging bullets for overcooking the tuna casserole. These gals better pick up their play ASAP. It’s only a matter of time before he puts the entire team on trial by combat vs himself.

Still one of my favorite videos on the web:

Still waiting on an answer to the stupid or retarded question. Been left in limbo for months on that one.

By smitty posted June 25th, 2014 at 3:00 PM

Brad Pitt’s New WWII Movie ‘Fury’ Looks Like A Certified American Winner

Love me a good war epic.
fury

OK, BRAD. Nice to see him going back to focus on killing Nazis, albeit sans the pedo stash and noose scar.

Love me a good war epic, and Fury has potential to be a winner. You have Tyler Durden and tanks. Possibly a crazier version of Patton with an unlimited supply to his toys. Plus have you seen End Of Watch? If not, Netflix it NOW. A great, underrated movie by the same writer/director, David Ayer. Sure, Shane from The Walking Dead might overact the entire picture into the shitter with a fake Southern accent, but these are the shots you have to take.

Good Lord willing we get a great war film with the Lord Of The Douche being shot in the face. Twice.

By smitty posted June 25th, 2014 at 2:10 PM

First Base Umpire Gets Drilled With Line Drive To The Gunt And Hulks It Off

This is the first respectable move Joe West has made on the diamond in decades

Link to video if it doesn’t work.

Luckily it didn’t hit him in the neck. That turkey gobbler wouldn’t be able to function properly after swallowing a baseball whole. Honestly I think this is the first respectable move Joe West has made on the diamond in decades. That man has cost the Phillies more games than the actual inferior product they put out on the field.

How about the forearms on this behemoth?

joewest

Unlimited old man strength like you read about. Wouldn’t want to be his grandchildren. Get out of line and be grabbed on the arm by those mitts would result in a loss of a limb.

By smitty posted June 25th, 2014 at 1:20 PM

I Can’t Believe What All These Scumbag Phillies Fans Did To Tony Gwynn Jr. During His First PA Since His Father’s Death

Needs more batteries.

Here’s THE LINK TO THE VIDEO because the MLB video player is as Facist as it gets.

What the hell is all this “class” and “respect” for someone returning to the batter’s box for the first time since he lost his iconic father? That’s not Philly. Philadelphia fans are supposed to boo the shit out of him before knocking him out with iceballs and batteries while vomiting on his children. That’s what Philly’s all about.

All in all, a pure classy move by the fans and Marlins’ catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia for giving Gwynn time to take in the moment. Condolences again to Tony Gwynn, Jr. for his loss. Now it’s about that time to uphold his legacy and improve on that .153 average. Please.

By smitty posted June 25th, 2014 at 11:35 AM

Who Will Fall to #3 Plus When Will The Sixers Sack Up And Pull The Trigger On LeBron?

Bring me the one they call James.
lebronsixers

The discussion over who will fall to the Sixers’ at the 3 spot of this years draft heated up a bit this week when Joel Embiid broke his foot, but don’t expect it to change the Cavaliers decision to drastically. We cannot underestimate the Cavs ultimate stupidity. It’s almost working out so perfectly that it’s laughable. Last year the Cavs past on a chance to secure Nerlens Noel as a rim protector annnnd missed on great teammate, super athletic wing Victor Oladipo, instead taking over weight and out of shape Anthony Bennett at the number 1 slot. We all know how that worked out. So this year, Cleveland’s in the same exact position, either pick a super athletic wing or a rim-protecting center. Because they missed so badly on Bennett and passed on Noel, who seems pretty healthy now, it’s very very very possible they snag Embiid and not look back, especially because the Cavs have not had a center since Shaq passed through and they for sure do not need anymore backcourt problems a la Kyrie and Dion Waiters. I honestly think the Bucks want Jabari so that leaves us with WIGGINS!! O’ Happy Day!

So the real question becomes how can Cleveland really fuck this years #1 pick up? Well, really, it’s basically impossible after last years debacle, all they have to do is pick one of them. But, I can’t wait to laugh about how dumb the Cavs are in a year or two when it all fizzle’s out. Supposedly they got offered the 4 pick, the 12 pick, and Aaron Afflalo from the Magic for the number 1, which is awful for the Magic and aweeesome for the Cavs. But they turned it down so were solid for the awful decision thing.

Lastly, LeBron opting out probably means he’s just strongly considering restructuring his contract and convincing his best buds to do the same all the while staying in Miami. Things will get fishy if Bosh or Wade refuse to take massive pay cuts, especially D-Wade. Honestly, the guy should be out of the league but he’ll keep “Getting’ Dem Checks” as Jalen Rose would put it. What would reallllly be intriguing is if Bosh and Wade refuse to take the pay cuts and LeBron convinces Cleveland to trade Miami the Magic’s 4 and 12 picks and other random people for LeBron in a sign and trade. Miami could go from old and declining to young with a shit ton of cap space in the span of a year or two. What would happen to Wade and Bosh? Who gives at that point.

Now the Sixers don’t actually have a chance at LeBron, but they DO have the ability to give LeBron absolute control of the team and the organization. He can basically play build-your-own-team with the amount of cap room we have and young talent we have. The besssst part is that we wouldn’t have to give Miami anything (hopefully) so we can pick up young talent in this years draft on rookie deals, LeBron, and a bunch of others (bring home Kyle Lowry!!!!). What a summer in the NBA, should be fun.

@SteveOBarstool

By steveoooo posted June 25th, 2014 at 11:05 AM

Hayden Panettiere Wasn’t Thrilled With The Paparazzi’s Pictures And Ended Up BOOM! Roasting Herself Big Time

Hayden should be counting her blessings she doesn't look worse after being ragdolled by Zangief from Street Fighter for the past couple years.

Carnival fun house mirror apps? BOOM! Nailed that one right on the head. You’re not in front of those friendly skinny mirrors no more while preggo. At least she’s self aware she looks like Frumpty Dumpty in that outfit that leaves little to the imagination. Honestly, Hayden should be counting her blessings she doesn’t look worse after being ragdolled by Zangief from Street Fighter for the past couple years. Kind of surprised she still has full use of her legs.

But onto the more important issue: Was Hayden Panettiere ever all that in the first place? I mean, she’s a cutie, but without the help of photoshop and the obvious Fool’s Gold on her chest, she’s your run of the mill NYC 5 (LA 3, Philly 6.5, The Queen Of Cleveland):

ha

ha1

ha2

ha3

ha4

ha5

PS – 1st season of Heroes: Amazing. The next 84 seasons: Despicable. Screw you, NBC.

By smitty posted June 25th, 2014 at 10:20 AM
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