Not that that should come as a surprise to many of you.
Like most people, I’ll take the occasional trip down to PornHub (or whatever pornog site you frequent) just to see what’s going on. To see what the whole “porn” thing is about that I hear people talking about all the time. And while I’m there, I like to see what type of raving reviews the other pornography viewers are giving the videos at hand. This may come as a surprise to some, but Barstool is not the only site in America that has a comment section. And let me make this clear, the porn commenting community is filled with some of the most bizarro human beings on god’s green earth. So let’s check in on what they’ve been saying lately.
KOOLTOZE really knows how to paint a picture in your mind with those delightful adjective choices.
Seriously, da fuq? If you’re gonna be fucking your sister, at least have some hot beats going on in the background. None of this Nightmare Before Christmas shit.
Well it looks like we’ve finally found Gerry Hamilton’s Pornhub account.
Literally the corniest thing I’ve ever heard someone say. If she’s laughing at a gigantic cock, I don’t even wanna know how she’d react to my less than less than average cock.
Hilarious. 10/10. Would read again.
Just needed to add this one in here because of my hatred for Lisa Ann. You put Michael Del Zotto on blast, I boycott your adult movies. End of story.
Yes, of course. I didn’t even know there was a way to interpret that statement in a way that wasn’t meant to be respectful.
Sooo jayman333 is a pedo. Good to know.
Now I’m starving for Qdoba.
Last one here but who the hell decides to go to PornHub and write an entire thesis paper on Mia Khalifa? “Ostensibly”, “Bewilders”, “Pretty normal white bitch”. Who uses words like that in everyday life? Psychopaths. That’s who.
So there we have it. During the entire time it takes these people to create a Pornhub account, log into said account, write out a comment and then hit “enter”, not once did they think to themselves that maybe they didn’t have to comment on porn today. And that’s awesome. Because the world needs freaks. And if it weren’t for these freaks, well then what would that make all of us?
Hope none of you saw your username pop up on any of these comments and if you did, time to reevaluate your life. And if you ever find any good comments along your travels, feel free to tweet them to me @BarstoolJordie.