Barstool Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Ellie

Introducing Ellie from West Chester University. Golden Rams at it again setting off firecrackers left and right. Have no choice but to respect. Send in the Smokes. Forward all Facebook links to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

Introducing Ellie from West Chester University. Golden Rams at it again setting off firecrackers left and right. Have no choice but to respect.

Send in the Smokes. Forward all Facebook links to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

By smitty posted September 23rd, 2014 at 5:40 PM

The Philadelphia Eagles Are The Whitest Team In The NFL And It’s Not Even Close

No wonder there was a big hubbub at the Kenny Chesney concert last year.
white

(click to enlarge)

What does this mean? I don’t know. But no wonder there was a big hubbub at the Kenny Chesney concert last year.

Listen, I’m not going to say Chip and Howie are running an Aryan regime. There are still more black players than white on the team (27 to 25), albeit the discrepancy is more evident on other squads (Why hello, Oakland). However one thing to note is there isn’t a great deal of ethnic difference on the coaching staff. And that’s a fact that can be controlled. Off the top of my head the only black coaches on staff are Duce Staley, Todd Lyght, and Tra Thomas. I’ve never seen assistant strength and conditioning coach Quadrian Banks, but I’m going to assume he’s not white. Just a hunch.

But whatever. 3-0 is 3-0. I don’t care our players and coaches are black, white, red, green, purple or Jewish. If they’re the best people for their respective jobs then I want them leading this team to victory. Now follow Chip to the promise land like Echo The Dolphin did during the Sega days.

chipadeedoodah
By smitty posted September 23rd, 2014 at 5:25 PM

The Kansas City Chiefs Owner’s Suite At Arrowhead Is Nicer Than Any Roof I’ll Ever Sleep Under

Seriously, is that a motherfucking fireplace?
kfc

 
Enjoy your nice dormitories, apartments or modest houses, you peasants. This is what I call living. I guess this is what happens when your family own a billion dollar organization that resides inside a modern day Roman Colosseum. You get nice things. And judging by the Roman busts I don’t think hubris is a word in this family’s vocabulary. Seriously, is that a motherfucking fireplace? Goes well with the spiral staircase that I can only image leads to a room full of opulence not seen since Benjamin Franklin Gates most famous discovery. Great fucking movie.

 

kfc1

kfc2

kfc5

kfc7

By smitty posted September 23rd, 2014 at 4:55 PM

Doug The Pug And His Smoke Owner Leslie Need To Become Household Names

Are there any pet owners out there more obsessed with their animals than Pug owners?

 

Boss. It’s Doug The Pug’s world and we’re just living in it. Seriously though, are there any pet owners out there more obsessed with their animals than Pug keepers? Like, a little over the top nuts. I used to date someone whose family was OBSESSED with their little toy with a heartbeat. The type of crew that would dress it up in costumes on holidays, celebrate birthdays, give it more expensive presents than they would humans – the works. I naturally assumed it would be endearing to drunkenly call the girlfriend Pugtits. It wasn’t. Especially during Christmas dinner. #Memories

Get it, Pug E. Fresh!
 
Read the rest of this entry »

By smitty posted September 23rd, 2014 at 3:06 PM

The Flyers New ‘Ice Guys’ Were Booed Mercilessly In Their Debut

Rightfully so.

 
Hockey’s back, baby! The split-squad Flyers beat up on the Capitols last night 5-4 in Philly. However, it was also the debut of the Flyers Ice Guys which served as a thankless reminder of the princesses who once roamed the rink. I still think some shady shit must have went down for multiple teams to disband their logo’d puck sluts. I need to see video evidence which Ice Girls were caught Zambonering in the locker room, STAT. There’s no other explanation to why they’re getting rid of this time honored 4-year tradition of objectifying women in between the (and hopefully their) periods.
 
NEVER FORGET:

Goodnight, sweet ice fairies. May you clean the house better than you did the rink.

 

flyer

flyer1

Florida Panthers v Philadelphia Flyers

flyer3

flyer4

flyer5

flyer6

flyer7

flyer8

flyer9

flyer10

By smitty posted September 23rd, 2014 at 2:00 PM

Jennifer Lopez’s Cooch May Hold The Secret To Eternal Life

In no way, shape or form is that a back shot of a 45-year-old mother of 2. Nope.
gooch

pics via The Superficial
 

Holy schnikes. In no way, shape or form is that a backside of a 45-year-old mother of 2. Nope. If anything it’s a shot of Jenny From The Block shaking her shit on In Living Color as a Flygirl and they somehow 3D-Printed everything into place. Either that or she has a golden bidet with water pumped directly from The Fountain Of Youth. No other explanations.

PS – Gooch, cooch, grundle and taint are all A-OK and under played in the English language. Even once heard a Nifkin thrown in there. Carry on.

gooch1

gooch2

gooch3

gooch4

By smitty posted September 23rd, 2014 at 12:20 PM

There’s A New World’s Hottest Criminal On The Block

Coming in hot as could be to the felon game.
stephaniebeaudoin2

Some Canadian Site - A Quebec woman is being dubbed the world’s sexiest alleged criminal after a photo of her on a boat in a bikini went viral. Stephanie Beaudoin, 21, is facing a whopping 114 criminal charges, including breaking and entering and possession of stolen property, over a series of break-ins in and around Victoriaville throughout the summer, according to local media reports. The photograph went viral and her story has since been picked up by international media, which has dubbed her the “world’s sexiest alleged criminal” and “hottest alleged thief.” Three days ago, a fan page appeared on Facebook that already has nearly 3,300 “likes.”

Remember this guy from a few months ago who took a really really ridiculously good looking mugshot? Girls from all corners of the world had leaky faucets for weeks after his mug went viral. Then it turned out that that man looked like this and all of a sudden, we found out he wasn’t so sexy anymore. Just took a great picture. Well now meet Stephanie Beaudoin. Coming in hot as could be to the felon game. We haven’t seen a criminal this hot since Bonnie Parker. So far it doesn’t look like a mugshot has surfaced yet, but this chick is a proven beauty outside of prison bars. Does she maybe lose half a point for being French Canadian? Sure. But that still puts her at a 10.5. My knees are wobbly just thinking about her breaking and entering into my heart. Now 114 criminal charges is absolute looney talk, but I feel like I could do my best to look past that part of her life. That’s all history now. Everyone deserves a second, or 115th, chance in life. So let’s hope the Canadian legal system does the right thing here and clears Stephanie Beaudoin of all charges. If anyone has ever earned exoneration, it her.

Read the rest of this entry »

By jordie posted September 23rd, 2014 at 11:25 AM

Carlton Banks Flat Out Owns Every Dance Floor He Touches

In Carlton we trust.

 

This one’s for all the guys who are forced to watch this shit on a weekly basis instead of MNF. My condolences, but at least there’s a silver lining with Uncle Phil’s dark cracker. I mentioned last week when Lolo Jones and her moves straight out of a factory assembly line proved she’s never had sex that Carlton Banks can GET IT on the dance floor. Last night he proved it once again by literally Gettin Jiggy Wit It. The guy not only drips straight sex but is overall enjoyable to watch. He was also set at 3/1 to take it down at the beginning of the season. I don’t care if betting on DWTS is as degenerate as it gets, a lock’s a lock.

I am aware his name is Alfonso Riberio. I don’t care and neither should he. Carlton for life.

 

By smitty posted September 23rd, 2014 at 10:30 AM
© 2014 Barstool Sports | Disclaimer | Copyright | Privacy Policy | Media Kit