Wireless Chargers Are Here And You’ll Soon Be Able To Juice A Dead Phone From Your Pocket Like A Boss

As if I wasn't infertile enough already.

cell-phone-charge

MIT – From being cut off in the middle of an important call, to finding yourself stranded, everyone has experienced the frustration of their smartphone running out of battery at the most inconvenient moment. But this could be a thing of the past, as scientists in the US have developed a device that could charge your phone at a distance – even while it’s still in your pocket – so you will never run out of juice again. The prototype MagMIMO wireless charger can charge an iPhone 4 battery in five hours, at a distance of 12 inches (30cm) away.

Anything beats the ol’ stick it in the microwave charge.

Beautiful work by the eggheads at MIT. There’s NOTHING worse than being stranded with a low juice. When that 10% warning pops up early in the night the anxiety becomes palpable. I guess the only semi-issue is you can say goodbye to the Smitty lineage. The buck officially stops here. Having a minuscule nuclear reactor in my pocket doesn’t exactly bode well for fertility. Not like I was going to be slipping one the past goalie any time soon, anyways. All day sitting here with the laptop that’s heating up the sac to the surface of the sun. Homer Simpson level of blanks are probably being fired. At this point you might as well call my balls Chernobyl.

By smitty posted September 30th, 2014 at 2:35 PM

Your Day Might Be a Little Shitty But At Least It Didn’t Start With A Plane Dumping Actual Shit All Over Your House

THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE!

UPI – A New Zealand woman said she awoke recently to discover her home and car had been covered in what she believes to be human feces from an airplane. Karen Bass of Auckland said she awoke Sunday to discover there were splotches of brown matter all over her house and her silver car, which she believes to be human waste dropped from an airplane. Bass said her home is directly in the flight path for planes coming into Auckland International Airport.

Really puts things into perspective, huh? Sure, your boss may be riding your ass lately or maybe even you’re going through a little trouble in your love life. But did you wake up this morning to your house and car being covered in human feces? No? Didn’t think so. So quit your whining and get back in the game. Things could be so much worse for you right now and that’s a fact. Everything covered in shit is only the beginning of this broad’s problems right now. Immediately upon coming into contact with the shit, she had to have vomited everywhere. So now we’re dealing with vomit and shit. And then she’s gonna have to go around and clean the shit. That means she’s getting shit all over herself, and probably more vomit is on the way. That’s like 1 bird hitting you with 2 stones. And if this chick is anything like me, she probably left her car windows a little cracked overnight. You know what that means don’t you? There’s shit inside the car. So now she can’t even just take it through the car wash real quick. That thing is totaled. I can’t tell you how many times I leave my car window cracked overnight and then it ends up raining. It drives me up the wall and I don’t think I’ll ever learn my lesson. It’s infuriating. But at least when rain doesn’t come from some stranger’s asshole. So #ThoughtsAndPrayers go out to Karen Bass of Auckland right now. She’s dealing with a whole world of shit right now.

By jordie posted September 30th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

Donovan McNabb Says Tom Brady Is Almost Done In New England And Rightfully Gets Torn A New One By The Panel

When Randy freaking Moss makes you look drastically incompetent on-air, you've got a problem.

mcnab

Link to video because of course it won’t embedd correctly to this site. Of course.

 
Wow. TV McNabb should go back to commercials or call it quits. When Randy Moss – straight cash homie, mooning in the endzone, surprised he’s literate – Randy freaking Moss makes you look drastically incompetent on-air, you’ve got a problem. I hope McNabb is trolling with that comment or else he’s a legitimately an idiot or insane. Maybe a little of both.

It’s amazing Donovan McNabb’s ineptitude still can’t overshadow my hatred for that no talent ass-clown, Jay Glazer. How and why does this guy get so much mainstream credit? Everything he does from his blowhard reporting for FoxSports to the Subway commercial he’s for some reason in reeks of douche. I mean, look at him. The smug fuck’s texting on live-TV like he’s too important to be there. Infuriating.

jay

 

Regardless, keep on throwing that shit against the wall, 5. Something is bound to stick.

By smitty posted September 30th, 2014 at 12:15 PM

European Super Hardos Attempt To Rugby Scrum Their Way Into The A Bar

A bunch of Eurotrash trying to overcome one bouncer by combining their douche.

 

It’s kind of like William Wallace and the highlanders. Instead of Warrior Poets attempting to break into the city of York with timber it’s a bunch of Eurotrash trying to overcome one bouncer by combining their douche. I’m on record saying professional Rugby and Aussie Rules Football athletes are hands down the toughest motherfuckers on the planet. You don’t mess with nutbags who could have their noses caved into their skulls and not only keep playing but still lead with their faces. Not so much here. All I see is a gaggle of queers tossing each other’s salads while most likely committing assault. Bad form all around, especially from this one.
 

euro

 
Time to put on some pants and back to your shanty.

h/t Mike

By smitty posted September 30th, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Former Eagles RB Charlie Garner Arrested For A DUI Because He Was Up For 3 Days Straight And ‘Chasing A Bitch’

The Lightning I knew didn't have to "chase" shit.
charlie

TMZ – Former NFL star Charlie Garner told police he was “chasing a b*tch” on the night he was arrested for DUI … and that’s why he didn’t know where he was. The 42-year-old ex-Pro Bowler — who played RB for the 49ers, Eagles, Bucs and Raiders — was arrested in Tampa, FL on Sept. 22 after cops say they found him passed out behind the wheel of a Chevy Malibu around 2AM. According to the report, the responding officer had to shake Garner vigorously to wake him up — and when he came to, he reeked of booze. When asked if he’d been drinking, Garner replied … “It’s not about … the drink … it’s about being up.” The cop says Garner indicated he’d been up for three days. Garner told police he was not from around the area and was staying with his ex-GF in North Tampa. According to the report, “[Garner] advised that he was chasing a ‘b*tch,’ got lost and could not tell me where he was.” Cops say Garner eventually bombed several field sobriety tests and was arrested for DUI.

Ah, the ol’ nap behind the wheel DUI. Happens to the best of us…or just Tony LaRussa and Charlie Garner.

42-years-old and still chasing bitches. The Lightning I knew didn’t have to “chase” shit. If anything Charlie in his prime would shimmy past whoever he wanted at mach speed before Thunder came along and finished the job. But I guess the smoking gun that one of best talents in the 90′s-early 2000′s has fallen from grace is the Chevy Malibu. You don’t earn a couple million over a lifetime and cruise around in the same brand of car a loser blogger used to sling pasta from out of its trunk. Have some respect for yourself, Lightning.

Obligatory link when Ricky Watters is remotely thought about in blog: For Who, For What. He may have the statistics to be in the HOF but it’s tough to get the votes when you’re a first ballot asshole.

By smitty posted September 30th, 2014 at 10:25 AM

Wake Up Again With The Blindside Truck Sticking Of The Millennium

Right joystick up to the moon.

 
Right joystick up to the moon. That’s one way to break a back. Seriously. I’ve never seen a human body bend that way other than in one of the craptastic Paranormal Activity movies. The dude’s almost cut in two.
 

truck

 
Smile for the camera, red pants. Have to look good in the manslaughter shot.

h/t Chris

By smitty posted September 30th, 2014 at 9:40 AM

You Can Take A Knee And Sign The Cross After Scoring A TD But It’s 15-Yards If You Do A Muslim Prayer

How many times did Tim Tebow take a knee?

prayer

I could give two shits about a NFL player’s religion, but this is a double standard of all double standards. If you’re going to enforce any sort of prayer you have to do it across the board. Athletes sign the cross all the time. How many times did Tim Tebow get on a knee without drawing a penalty? Shit, James Trash Thrash used to point up to the sky after every 2-yard hitch (Absolutely INFURIATED me). If Nick Foles was a Snake Handler he could probably drop his pants and say a prayer. Point being, either let it go or enforce penalties to all religious like-celebrations. The last thing the NFL needs is a Jihad on its plate.

I’m not trying to be ignorant, but there’s no way Husain’s praying towards Mecca there. It would be too coincidental. Complete haphazard prayer form right there.

By smitty posted September 30th, 2014 at 12:25 AM

Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Maddie

  Introducing Maddie from WVU via Downingtown. Sweet fire. If you recall, new Smokeshow Of The Century Miss Christina hails from the D-Town area, too. Chester County just firing out the Smokes. SEND IN THE SMOKES ——> Phillytips@barstoolsports.com  
mad

 
Introducing Maddie from WVU via Downingtown. Sweet fire. If you recall, new Smokeshow Of The Century Miss Christina hails from the D-Town area, too. Chester County just firing out the Smokes.

SEND IN THE SMOKES ——> Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

 
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By smitty posted September 29th, 2014 at 5:35 PM
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