Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

Rangers Block All The Shots, Take Home Ice Back From Flyers

New hockey fight vine: Voracek love tap – https://t.co/ni7jWHb3fs — Pauly (@taopauly) April 23, 2014 A little saddened Realanonymous’ realcrazy Flyers in five predition didn’t come true since he’d be bragging about that for all eternity, but it wasn’t meant to be. Still doesn’t mean the Flyers lose this series. Basically the Rangers gave up [...]

flyers lose

A little saddened Realanonymous’ realcrazy Flyers in five predition didn’t come true since he’d be bragging about that for all eternity, but it wasn’t meant to be. Still doesn’t mean the Flyers lose this series. Basically the Rangers gave up their bodies to prevent the Flyers from getting any shots on goal, which is going to haunt them in the next few games when all the puck and fist welts finally start taking their toll.

Not even worried. I mean look at their fans:

What a joke. Flyers still win this series.

By maurice posted April 22nd, 2014 at 10:40 PM

UPDATE: Steve Mason To Dress, Back Up Emery

Let's do this.
scsm

Excellent news. Hopefully this doesn’t have Ray looking over his shoulder at all, but a playoff game is a playoff game. If you’re not locked in for game 3 you shouldn’t be wearing the sweater.

Let’s do this.

By maurice posted April 22nd, 2014 at 6:20 PM

Brian Williams Talks To Jimmy Fallon About His Rap Videos, Should Definitely Run For President

This is...what? My third or fourth time saying Brian Williams should be President? The man is a national treasure.



This is…what? My third or fourth time saying Brian Williams should be President? Brian Williams should be President! The man is a national treasure. He STARTS OFF with dropping “pre-hearing loss Foxy Brown”. STARTS OFF with that. The man is a titan of journalism and comedy and I want him to lead our country in the 21st or possibly somehow even into the 22nd century. Gin and Juice is just the latest. You’re my guy, BDubs. You’re my guy.

By maurice posted April 22nd, 2014 at 6:03 PM

Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Lauren

Welcome Lauren via Ursinus College and now Villanova Law aka Miss Cape May 2013. Wildcat worthy back to back days with an absolute stunner with Lauren. Should be able to see her and other smokes at the Barstool Blackout tour as it returns to Philly this Friday. Click here and get your tix now before [...]

Welcome Lauren via Ursinus College and now Villanova Law aka Miss Cape May 2013. Wildcat worthy back to back days with an absolute stunner with Lauren. Should be able to see her and other smokes at the Barstool Blackout tour as it returns to Philly this Friday. Click here and get your tix now before it sells out. ALL SMOKESHOWS GET IN FOR FREE.

Remember to do your Stoolie duty email the Facebook links of Smokeshow nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

By smitty posted April 22nd, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Fight Church Looks Like One Hell Of A Holy Time

JESUS NEVER TAPPED OUT!

JESUS NEVER TAPPED OUT!

1st Rule of FIGHT CHURCH: You don’t talk about FIGHT CHURCH No homos. Just two dudes going at it shirtless till one goes limp.

Ah, yes. I remember going to CCD and learning about that time Jesus challenged Judas to the Octagon and gave one of the best flying knee/spinning backfist combinations in recorded history, thereby spreading the Good Word. Seems only logical to continue the practice of Mixed Martial Arts in today’s Christian teachings, especially with the kids. The scripture writes itself:

“Can you love your neighbor as yourself and then at the same time knee him in the face as hard as you can?” -Tapout, 4:15

Seems like if the Crusades can be carried out in Christ’s name then a little bit of Fight Club in the basement in between the communion and AA meeting should be a cakewalk. So Amen to that.

By smitty posted April 22nd, 2014 at 4:25 PM

In Defense Of Sitting: Why All These People Telling Us To Stand While Working Can Fuck Off

If standing is the new sitting then maybe suicide is the new long and happy life.
standing desk2


sitting killing
standing desk philly dot com

philly.comSince the article Is sitting the new smoking? was posted I have had a lot of inquiries about whether or not a standing desk is the way to go and if it is, which desk is the most appropriate for correct standing posture at your workstation? This is a very complicated question. While the answer may be that a standing desk is the better way to go, there are some things that need to be clarified before you dive full force into standing eight hours a day.

This has been on my mind for quite some time but having just seen the above article on the Philly.com home page I feel it’s my place to finally speak. What the hell is wrong with everybody? STANDING while working? This is tyrannic psycho behavior. Cruel and unusual punishment. “Is sitting the new smoking?” FUCK. YOU.

Listen, sitting is better than standing. We all know this because it is what our asses tell our brains what to feel. It’s basic human comfort. If we’re all getting heart disease, diabetes, and cancer from sitting too long then it seems like it’s just technology’s job to come up with an anti-heart disease, anti-diabetes, anti-cancer work chair. Anything else is simply quitting. You might as well travel back in time and tell the original pilots “Welp, that first guy burned up. Guess humans weren’t meant to fly.” It’s short-sighted thinking to say people should just start standing all the time. Doesn’t even make sense. Find a solution to the problem, don’t quit.

Get outta my face with this standing workstation / forced standing at work bullshit. If I have to stand at the computer to stay healthy, I’m not really sure that’s a world I want to live in anyway. If standing is the new sitting then maybe suicide is the new long and happy life. Can’t just change thousands of years of comfort because a bunch of fat people are getting all constipated with diabetes at work. You live your life, I’ll live mine. COMFORTABLY RECLINED.

VIVA LA STOOLS & CHAIRS.

By maurice posted April 22nd, 2014 at 3:49 PM

Here’s That New Video From ‘Philly’s First Disabled Rapper’ Swizz Nix That You Were Waiting For

Stephen Colbert likes to say that he "doesn't see race". I don't see ability. If you're a guy in a wheelchair or a cashier handing me back my change with a weird hand I don't even notice.

philebrityGood morning everyone. That dread-wearing Philadelphian rapping in the Philippines in that video above is Swizz Nix, who was described in an email to us as Philly’s “First Disabled Rapper.” The whole thing is something else and you really gotta sit back and press play to get the full effect of it all — we recommend you stick around til at least the dig at Tony Romo. But you’ll notice a little something if you stick around til chorus, and that little something is the n-word.

Stephen Colbert likes to say that he “doesn’t see race”. Personally not too long ago I realized that I don’t see ability. Everyone is equal to me. If you’re a teacher in a wheelchair or a cashier handing me back my change with a weird hand I don’t even notice. I’m beyond that. Equality for everyone.

Having made that clear, here is my video review.

Lyrics: D+

The flow is basic but actually on-point with the beat, although lyrically it leaves much to be desired. Nice that he’s in the Philippines and not lying when rapping about living in the tropics, but do you really need a stapler for your paper? Who staples their money? Nobody. That’s what nobody does with their money.

Points deducted for the N-word, added back on for insinuating Tony Romo sucks dicks.

Beat: C-

Think I made this beat on Fruity Loops back in 2004 with my Japanese roommate and a bag of weed. It sucked back then, too.

Cinematography: B

Got some good bottom-up angles with sun coming through the trees and some post-production sun flares. Not bad.

Acting: A-

This is Swizz Nix really shines. I believe him, yo. I don’t know why but I do. His voice and what it’s saying — I don’t believe it that much. But him dancing with Asian teenagers and balling out — totally believe that. He really is having a great time. Maybe he actually does need a stapler.

Hoes: D+

video hoes

Yeah no thanks. Get my ass locked up and beat with a cane somehow.

Overall: C

Again, since I don’t pander or play favorites based on who or who isn’t differently abled, I gotta say this wasn’t a great video despite a valiant, high-motor effort from Swizz Nix. Maybe it’ll be better next time after he gets that stapler.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (35 votes, average: 6.80 out of 10)
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By maurice posted April 22nd, 2014 at 2:30 PM

The 1st Annual Barstool Philly Kentucky Derby Party Will Take Place At The Fieldhouse

Sound the trumpets!
fieldhouse

Sound the trumpets! The 140th run for the roses will be celebrated by the first annual Barstool Philly Kentucky Derby fiesta. The party at Churchill Downs is apparently Project X on crack, so we must do our best to bring the experience to one of the best bars in Philly.

Say you’re with Barstool Philly and you get a open bar with all beer, wine and well drinks from 5:00-7:00 or 7:00-9:00 for only $30. Have the best hat in the house and you get a cool $250. Also, the 15 people that bring the most with them will receive a horse in the race. Your Thoroughbred wins, you get a little something for your efforts. Oh, and the Mayweather fight is that evening, too. No excuse not to join your fellow Philly Stoolies for a day of drinking, betting and mayhem.

Let’s have a day!

derby
By smitty posted April 22nd, 2014 at 2:00 PM
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