Your Mid-Week Eagles Fix With All The Birds Material You Can Eat

The artist formerly known as Sanchize is looking FRESH!

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We slow down Arian Foster, keep Harvard on his heels and contain this thing to its own dimension, we win. Simple as that.

 

JASON KELCE AND DARREN SPROLES ARE BACK THIS WEEK (Evan Mathis in wk 10 vs Carolina).
 
Jeremy Maclin is this year’s recipient of the Ed Block Courage Award.
 
Todd Herremans suffered a torn biceps vs Arizona and blocked most of the 4th qtr with one arm. A mortal would be done for the season, The Toddfather is toughing through (as of now).
   

A couple of Eagles dressed up and visited CHOP because that’s what good athletes do. Mark Sanchez makes a DYNOMITE Mario. Practice squad QB GJ Kinne, not so much. Luigi has a stash, too. Here are all the pics, including Bennie Logan looking scary as fuck in a half-assed Batman costume.
 
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STANKY LEG:
 
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A quick reminder of greatness from the Instagram of Jason Peters:
 

A photo posted by franchy (@franchy832) on Oct 10, 2014 at 8:45pm PDT


   

That’s all she wrote. Time to follow our leader to Houston and 6-2.
 
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By smitty posted October 29th, 2014 at 1:40 PM

British Dude Tells A Tall Tale Of His Mother Catching Him Treating His Body Like An Amusement Park

Why? Cause it's there!

 
Could be real, could be fake. Spitting on your own hand and going to town is outright barbaric to begin with. Regardless, it’s not a good look having your mother walk in and see you giving your dick a dishonorable discharge. Even worse seeing you chuck sauce during a male taint shot. Only family play here is to ignore it ever happened. My buddy in middle school walked in on his mother blowing his father, which is 1000000% worse than catching them ride one out. Dinner was in 10 minutes. Dad comes down and immediately brings up the Phillies before anything can be said, Mom didn’t look him in the eyes until college. Ignorance is bliss.

At least PornHub is a step up from Glamour. Why? Cause it’s there!
 

By smitty posted October 29th, 2014 at 12:35 PM

Utah High School QB Loses Playoff Game With The Brain Fart Of The Century

I just pray there's no Uncle Rico in this kid's blood or else he's punched a one-way ticket to Suicide City.

(Giddy up to 46:30)

 

Holy moly he picked the wrong time to space out. The QB could have pulled a Jim Marshall and run the wrong way into his own endzone and they still would have won. I just pray there’s no Uncle Rico in this kid’s blood or else he’s punched a one-way ticket to Suicide City. All he had to do was run out of bounds and he’d take state. Anyone who played sports in high school dwells on what they could have done better for the rest of their lives. I dropped a TD pass at Interboro my senior year and wake up in a cold sweat once a month. Granted, that’s probably due to the excessive alcohol intake and the Honey Bun becoming a staple part of a meal, but still. Gotta make that catch.

By smitty posted October 29th, 2014 at 11:35 AM

Remember The Philly Bars Jon Taffer Rescued Last Month? Yeah, They’ve Already Ditched Their Makeovers

SHUT IT DOWN!!!

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PHILLY – Michael Klein has the story that both recently filmed Bar Rescue bars are backing away from their Jon Taffer makeovers. The former Lickety Split has removed the “Alleged Pizza” graphics from its first floor and dumped its drink list from 2nd State Lounge upstairs. That might be just as well as the “South Street Sazerac” I was served was given an Absinthe rinse of about 4-ounces. As for Plush in Glenside, that bar was rechristened Osteria Calabria, though the staff evidently referred to it as “OC” from day one. A Facebook post shows they uncovered the bar top that Taffer overhauled. The Philadelphia episodes of Bar Rescue will appear on Spike TV in November with Lickety Split airing on November 9th and Plush a week later on the 16th. Hopefully both bars make it to their air dates.

SHUT IT DOWN!!! Looks like Jon Taffer got swindled with this one. The ol’ let a TV show come in, buy us all new equipment, change the name for a couple weeks then make out like bandits routine. Actually am surprised it doesn’t happen more. However, Taffer seems like he’s been doing good things for the places he rescues. Through 3 complete seasons, 33 of the 40 bars Taffer has “Rescued” are still open with a good amount of them doing better than before he arrived. I’ve never been to Plush, but Lickety Split could have changed it’s image to “Dicks And Grits” and it would’ve been an improvement.

Sloggers must be running that joint.

By smitty posted October 29th, 2014 at 10:30 AM

The Flyers Take Down The Champs In Overtime So Through Transitive Property, The Flyers Are Champs

Fun fact for you; the Philadelphia Flyers have never lost a regular season game when Ghost is in the lineup.

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Well, well, well. Look who decided to go on a little hot streak and win their last 3 games in a row. Is beating the Penguins, Red Wings and Kings good? Pretty decent turnaround after going winless through the first 4 games of the season. And here’s a little fun fact for you; in the entire history of the Philadelphia Flyers organization, they have never lost a regular season game with Shayne Gostisbehere in the lineup. Not even once. The Ghost Bear didn’t have a great game in particular last night and still looks like he needs some development, but facts are facts. It was a great game all around, sans the 2nd and 3rd period, so let’s talk about some guys who played well and then some guys who didn’t play so good.

Scoracek Played Out Of His Little Czech Mind

With another 2 assists last night (including his 200th career apple), Voracek is now tied at second in points this season in the NHL with 13. Obviously Jake has become a pretty premier player in the league but last night he just looked better than everyone else out there on the ice. His vision on both his assists were unreal and he seemed to have an extra gear the whole game. I know Jeff Carter and That 70′s Line has been tearing it up all season for the Kings, but if we’re just going off of what we saw last night, the Flyers win that trade.

Brayden Schenn With The Most Underwhelming OT GWG Of All Time

You’re gonna have to be a little “quicker” than that if you’re gonna sneak one through the 5-hole on Johnny Quick, but a goal is a goal as much as a win is a win. Huge goal for Brayden that will hopefully give him a nice little shot of confidence. Again, here we see the Richards and Carter trades not completely blowing up in the Flyers’ face. After Richie knotted the game at 2 (miss you, Michael), here comes Brayden Schenn to pump one home in overtime with Wayne Simmonds giving an extra push for good measure. Suck on that, LA. And by the way, Hey Johnny why you gotta be so mad?

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gif via here

Razor Ray Emery Now Has All 4 Flyers Wins

Listen, I can’t knock Razor right now. He’s been playing very well and has been beyond huge for the Flyers lately. I just wish that I could have the Men In Black come and wipe out my memory with one of those neuralyzers so I could forget how bad he was last season and specifically in the playoffs. As for now though, Emery has been solid in between the pipes and let’s just hope that this 3-game hiatus for Mason has been helpful. The thought of having another goalie controversy (which we clearly now have) is making me want to vomit all over my keyboard.

The Flyers In Their Own Zone During The 2nd Period

This will easily become the Flyers downfall this season. Whenever the puck is in their own defensive zone they play like they’ve never even seen an ice rink before in their lives. It’s a black hole down there and somehow some way nothing bad came out of it. They got outshot basically a million-to-one but still didn’t give up a goal. But it was a tough period to watch and that’s basically been how the majority of the season has been. There’s just no discipline, no urgency, and I’m sure if Kopitar and Gaborik were in the lineup for the Kings that period would have gone a little differently.

The Other Guys

The whole line of Giroux-Voracek-Raffl looked great last night. They matched up well against the Richards line from LA and put on a lot of sustained pressure. Raffl has himself a sneaky 5 goals already this season. Love it. MDZ had a pretty average game last night but he did log over 26 minutes of ice time. If he can play average for 26 minutes, I’m sure that he’ll be doing great with 17-18 once the blueline gets healthy again. Chris VandeVelde stuffed home his first case of Tastykakes as a Flyer, good for him. He has tremendous bone structure. And with a 3-game win-streak, I think it’s time to cue the BOOYAH (sorry, Smitty. I don’t think they were interested in your advice on changing the goal song).

By jordie posted October 29th, 2014 at 9:40 AM

This Fucking Guy…

Burn the jersey and possibly him.

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Burn the jersey and possibly him. The LA Kings may be going for their 3rd cup in 5 years with a shit ton of former Flyers players and coaches but did they pull it out tonight in OT? Exactly. I think we know who the real winners are here*.

Solid game tonight boys. We’ll take 3 straight and 4 of the last 5, thank you very much. Emery is looking swell between the pipes.

*It’s still the Kings and any other team that’s tickled Lord Stanley’s taint in the last 40 years. Dammit, just one time God. One time.

h/t @Yert_McGert

By smitty posted October 28th, 2014 at 10:49 PM

Probably Wise To Hold Back The FHRITP When The News Report Is About Child Predators

Yeah, best take a rain check on that one.

 
Yeah, best take a rain check on that one. It didn’t matter what the news subject was or the fact he’s 6 months too late to the party (probably dropped a “That’s what she said” with a couple Austin Powers quotes that night, too). They could have been reporting live from his mother’s funeral and it wouldn’t have mattered. You can see it in his eyes, that man saw a live camera and was getting in his Fuck Her Right In The Pussy.

By smitty posted October 28th, 2014 at 8:05 PM

Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Gwen

Introducing Gwen from Gettysburg. Small school heat coming your way via Central PA. Want, no, need more from the D-III schools. Lots of diamonds like Gwen hidden in the rough. Keep sending in the Smokes. Phillytips@barstoolsports.com

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Introducing Gwen from Gettysburg. Small school heat coming your way via Central PA. Want, no, need more from the D-III schools. Lots of diamonds like Gwen hidden in the rough.

Keep sending in the Smokes. Phillytips@barstoolsports.com
Read the rest of this entry »

By smitty posted October 28th, 2014 at 5:30 PM
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