wsvn – The South Florida teen who created a YouTube video asking Dwyane Wade to her high school prom, had her wish come true. Last month, Archbishop Coleman Carroll High School senior Nicole Muxo created a YouTube prom proposal video asking her favorite basketball player, Miami Heat champion Dwyane Wade to prom. Wade accepted Muxo’s proposal and surprised the teen and her classmates Friday night at her prom at La Jolla Ballroom in Coral Gables. “She actually DM’d me on Twitter and said, ‘This is the address, this is where I’m gonna be just in case,’ and when I got that I said I won’t be doing nothing tomorrow night and I can go and make this a memorable moment for her,” said Wade. “I’m gonna remember it forever. This was my highlight of my senior year,” said Muxo.
She DMed you? You’re following this chick on Twitter? Aren’t these broads supposed to be in a wheelchair or something? You can’t just take some hot 18 or possibly 17 year-old to the prom, Dwywewywayne. I mean…right?
Gonna go “ice your knee”. Yeah, okay. You’re gonna go bang that chick out in the back of a REAL limo.
Normally I hate viral wedding videos. HATE ‘em. Only exceptions might be WWF announcer Howard Finkel’s introductions and this guy killing the moonwalk. Can’t exactly explain why but I’m left helpless and stupefied by this dancing 90′s haircut’s glorious moves. Smoothest moonwalk you’ll see.
Gotta love that uncomfortable moment when the dancing goes on for a little too long.
It’s the quarter-mark of the season. I wanted to compare NL East to kids on a playground. I don’t really feel like I owe anymore of explanation than that.
1. Atlanta Braves (22-18) The Braves are like the huge kid that looks scary as shit but in reality is a total pussy. Once you realize the kid doesn’t have that retard strength you were worried about, it’s pretty much game over.
2. Washington Nationals (22-19) The Nationals remind me of this kid we’ll call “Brian Telletowski” that I went to elementary school with. We’ll call him that because, you know, it was his actual name. Anyway, kid dressed well, teachers liked him, could play sports. It all looked good on paper. Then one day he shit his pants in music class. Total game changer. Most kids just don’t come back from something like that. He bounced around with some different groups of friends, but never really got popular. Point is that he fell way short of most people’s expectations.
3. Philadelphia Phillies (19-22) The Phillies are like the kid who has been coming to the playground for way too long, but nobody wants to tell him that it’s starting to get weird. All the fourth graders are playing pogs or whatever the fuck it is that fourth-graders do nowadays and then this kid is standing there like an asshole with his dirt stache while everyone else is talking about how it’s probably time for him to move on.
4. New York Mets (15-23) The Mets are pretty much like the Steven Glansberg type kid. They just exist. It’s not like they’re really bothering anybody, they’re just kind of there, taking up space with their stupid blue sweatpants with the elastic bands at the ankle, and white socks, looking all stupid and shit.
5. Miami Marlins (11-30) The Marlins have a .268 winning percentage. That’s gotta be like the equivalent of the kid who drinks his Sunny D through a stoma and shits into a bag. I know that’s not like a type of kid you actually see on the playground or anything, but when you’re 11-30 there’s really no other way to put it. Bags of shit. End of story.
perez – At this point, it’s fairly obvious that Kim Kardashian is not going to let pregnancy and all the bodily changes that come with it affect her style. She proudly donned her caged Givenchy heels at the Kardashian Kollection event at Sears on Saturday, but if you think she didn’t suffer in the name of fashion, you are WRONG! Kimmy’s footsies took a major hit from all the posing as the shoes’ straps dug deeply into them and left geometric imprints all over. OUCH!!! The 32-year-old shared a pic of the torture on Instagram with the caption: “Swollen feet or a new Givenchy tattoo?” Um, both?
just rip on her, please. #TFFL. To Fat For Life.
It seems like everybody in the world gets off on talking shit on Kim Kardashian. What did this woman do to any of you besides give you hours of free material to laugh at / collectively hate? Nothing. She’s a shitty, shallow, rapidly-expanding whale-woman who’s somehow Yoko-ing a solo artist, but that doesn’t mean we need to spend every second hating on her. We should just treat her like every other celebrity and hate when she does something stupid. Maybe this will happen for her more often than other celebs, and in that case she’d be deserving of everything she gets. But to crap on her life for no reason, well, that’s kinda sad.
What I’m trying to say is: reserve the Kim hate for when it’s deserved. Like right now when this mega-pregnant brainless chocoholic whore squeezes her ginormous cankle into shoes two sizes too small because she thinks it looks good.
So Smitty wrote a blog earlier today on how co-workers eventually turn into your best friends and he called out the reasons why him and I could never be besties in real life. Racist Jaw listed things like my lanky Ninja Turtle-like appearance, my support of Meek Mill, and my love of Rihanna’s tits as reasons for why we could never hang out on a regular basis — all good points. But he also mentioned me wearing a cardigan to the Eagles game, a controversy on Barstool Philly since our video with EDP first aired. At first it was funny to me that everybody thought I was wearing a cardigan, but this many months later it’s just becoming a nuisance and it’s time for me to set the record straight. I did NOT wear a cardigan to a football game.
Do I own cardigans? Yes. As a fashionable man who is comfortable with himself and his tall, model-like frame I have no problem cardigan-ing it up on occasion to show the rest of the world I have taste and class. But to claim I would EVER wear a cardigan to a Birds game is insulting. I’m well aware of the boundaries of fashion, and mixing my passion for the Eagles with a knit open-front sweater is out of bounds for any man.
It was a “Cotton Kings Fleece Bomber Jacket” by All Saints. Obviously a zip-up. Not a single button on there and it’s not knitted. It’s pretty much a hoodless hoodie.
Anyway, I hope this sets the record straight. Was it the best choice of outerwear? Probably not. Ill-fitting? Sure. But I 100% did not wear a cardigan to a football game.
Overall I’d give it an 8, but the Michael Scott cameo was a bonifide 10000/10. Absolute perfection that they didn’t revolve the entire episode around him but game him the best moment. Now nobody should ever be allowed to say “That’s What She Said” again. Ever. Steve Carell officially retired the phrase last night. It has been beaten to the ground more than a dead horse by Chris Brown already by douchebags and frat bros, but now it needs to never be spoken again.
Farewell and adieu to you fair Scranton ladies. Good times had by all.
SOURCE – Don’t tell your BFF from childhood or your spouse, but you may be closer to your co-workers than you are to them. People form the strongest, most emotionally supportive friendships with their colleagues, especially in miserable, high-stress workplaces, a new study suggests. “The demands and stressful environment of the workplace, where employees feel they have little control, shape emotionally close friendships,” says Anne Cronin, lead author of the University of Lancaster’s study. It’s amazing what the mutual resentment of a crushing workload and unsympathetic boss can do.
Uh, fuck that. They’re your friends AT WORK solely because you have no other option. If anything I hate 99% of the people I’ve ever worked with. Would not only not be friends with them but legitimately would have loved to take a baseball bat Al Capone style to most of them at any given moment. Yeah, you could be that office dickhead and either ignore everyone or even better tell them how you feel but being ostrichized by the water cooler community is essentially career suicide. Or you get fired for being an asshole. Lose-lose. You’re forced to be civil, and for that reason everything at the cube is skewed for the better because you deal with the hands your dealt with and try to make the best of the situation. The hot girl is considered an “office” 8 for a reason because one step outside of work she goes from looking like a curvy, decent looking, pre-prego Kardashian to something Captain Ahab longed to hunt just from the change of scenery. Same thing goes for friends at the office.
I could’ve considered this kid I worked with a good friend simply because we bull shitted left and right and got along at office, but then I saw him at a bar one time each with our own buddies and it was just awkward as fuck. Only things we could talk about were ragging on our boss and co-workers and I would rather stick an icepick directly into my dick than talk about work when I’m not at work. Can’t do it. And you think I would hang out with Mo if we didn’t work together? Lanky bastard looks like a ninja turtle, wears cardigans to Eagles games and would beat my ear off about the integrity of Meek Mill’s lyrics vs Rihanna’s gross tits. No thank you. Plus our group already has a token black friend, any more and you’re just inviting a John Brown-like uprising against Springsteen and alternative rock being staples on the drinking music playlists. Can’t risk it.
Arbroath – Chinese villagers that got together to extinguish a small forest fire discovered it had been caused when a giant snake known to have lived in the nearby woodland that had been struck by lightning. The four-metre long python had been terrifying locals for years after it was known to have taken young animals for lunch, and it was rumoured that even a full-grown man and certainly a child would get into difficulties if attacked by the giant snake. The regional fire chief On Shih, 47, said that the wet body of the python which had stretched the length of the tree had been the perfect conductor when the lightning bolt struck the beast – setting fire to the tree and killing the snake instantly – then cooking it. The blaze burnt just over 3000 square metres of forest and took two hours and 30 villagers to extinguish. Villager Wu T’an, 64, said: “People were sad to have seen so much woodland destroyed but when they realised that the huge snake was dead that everyone had been worried about for years there was a celebration. Instead of eating one of us, we were able to eat the snake. It was a real feast day.”
God DAMN I wish someone would have gotten that on video.
Let’s all go ahead and all “deep Chinese forest” to the list of places no human should be forced to experience. Right up there with “deep sea at night on a raft or some shit,” “any place where women aren’t allowed to drive*,” and “yo mama’s stank pussy”. OOOOHHH!!!