Barstool Philly Sports And Life Podcast: The Best And Worst Of Christmas Or Whatever The Hell You Celebrate Gifts

I recall the story of how The Sega Channel almost broke up the Smitty family and we give advice for Christmas presents for girls to get guys that they'll actually like.

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A delightful Holiday Themed Spectacular with myself and the Philly video/podcast extraordinaire who looks like the lovechild of Mario and a Harbor Seal, @BarstoolFranco. I recall the story of how The Sega Channel almost broke up the Smitty family and we give advice for Christmas presents for girls to get guys that they’ll actually like. HINT: Something they’ll actually use. So if they don’t wear cologne or a watch, don’t get them expensive CK1 or a poor man’s Rolex that might as well have had an elastic band – Thank you very much Ghost Of Smitty’s Girlfriend Past. I don’t care if it was her way of trying to change me. Just like Walter Sobchak doesn’t roll on Shabbas, I don’t wear fragrances or shit on my wrist. And I’m too set in my old man ways to start now.

That is all.
 

By smitty posted December 18th, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Your Season Long Fantasy Team Crap Itself In The Playoffs? No Worries, DraftKings Has You Covered With A $5 Tourney With $50K To First

Not to shabby of a ROI if I should say so myself.

fle

CLICK HERE TO ENTER

Well, it’s nearing the end, folks. Football is almost over. There’s NO excuse not to drop $5 on Draftking’s NFL $400K Flea Flicker Championship. None. Take a shot in the dark with Jimmy Clausen or Derek Anderson and who knows, you might be walking away with a $49,995 profit. Not to shabby of a ROI if I should say so myself. GET ON IT.

NFL $400K Flea Flicker Link:

Contest Details:
-NFL $400K Flea Flicker Championship
-This is the biggest $5 entry fee league of the entire football season
-$400,000 in prize money, $50,000 to 1st place
-Top 18,995 fantasy scores win cash, with the chance to turn a $5 entry into $50K
-Your fantasy team is out, your 1st round was a bust, whatever. Win what is certainly larger that the combined bankroll of your entire fantasy league in Week 16!

 
CLICK HERE TO ENTER</
 
Also, VERY IMPORTANT:

Draft Kings is doing a league supporting Pete's Plunge and raising money for ALS. Its called the "NFL $1K For Pete Frates Fund (ALS Research)." The way it works is that it's a $10 entry, and ALL ENTRY fees will be donated. I REPEAT ALL ENTRY FEES WILL BE DONATED TO THE CAUSE. DraftKings will pay out $1,000 in cash to 1st place, and some DraftKings swag to the rest of the top 10. There are unlimited entries allowed so they are hoping to raise some good money for the cause. I've copied the link for this contest below as well.
 
Click Here To Enter The $1K Plunge for Pete Frates

By smitty posted December 18th, 2014 at 11:45 AM

This Turbulence Ragdolling A 747 Gives You A Glimpse Of People Just Waiting For The End

Thinking I'm about to be incinerated in a fiery crash while listening to 100 Asian women shriek at the top of their lungs is no the way I wanna go.

 
DALLAS – Passengers on an American Airlines jet were forced to land in Japan after severe turbulence struck the plane shortly after it took off from Seoul, South Korea. The airplane was heading toward DFW International Airport, and Dallas attorney Marc Stanley called it his worst flight ever. Stanley took a new plane to get back home, but was able to give a first-hand account of the experience. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life,” he said. “I fly all the time, usually you can adjust.” Stanley recorded video of the turbulence on the plane, and it shows serving carts falling down, belongings being tossed around and dishes shattering. “There was this big drop,” Stanley stated, “and food and plates and service materials, my iPhone and everything just started flying all over the place.” Some passengers could be heard praying, or leaving phone messages for loved ones back home. “I started counting my blessings,” said Nilesh Parikh. “Honestly, it was that bad. I talked to a few other passengers and they were shaken up. It was bad.”

Shit, I would like you to meet pants. How do you do?

I mean, flying sucks as it is. No leg room, awful food and there’s only so much entertainment, alcohol and naps that can distract you from the fear of instant death from 40,000 ft. Now imagine if that latter part was turned into reality. Thinking I’m about to be incinerated in a fiery crash while listening to 100 Asian women shriek at the top of their lungs is no the way I wanna go. And I’m not too sure if praying to God for a safe landing is gonna do the trick. The same dude who drove you into that ditch isn’t going to drive you out of it. If anything ask God to cut the shit and stop his league bowling night around your 747. Go right to the source of the problem.

Boat turbulence > Plane turbulence. FACT:
 

SkankTitanic

h/t Uncle Pops

By smitty posted December 18th, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Dave Matthews And His Buddy Enjoy Slapping The Living Shit Out Of Each Other, HARD

I'm all for friendly slap slap slaparoo, between buddies, but some of those were outright malicious.

 
Full Disclosure: I’ve always been a Dave guy (FAG!). The only reason I can think why so many people hate is because Dave Matthews Band became overly popular with too many doucheguzzlers that went full hipster on them real fast and didn’t stop. It only became natural to loathe them. Their stuff, especially the early recordings (Under The Table And Dreaming, Crash, and Before These Crowded Streets are all phenomenal) is actually “music” with instruments, original lyrics and great jazzy riffs. I’d take a new Dave album over any of this 2014 autotuned and sampled happy crap all day anyway any day.

But onto this homoerotic adventure. I’m all for friendly slap slap slaparoo, between buddies but some of those were outright malicious. Stone Cold surprising stunners left and right, and they’re LOVING it. Great to see the rich and famous can still get off to such immaturity. It’s all fun and games till this sort of grab ass slippery slopes into surprise ball tappings. That’s where the real pain lies. These two should venture into The Motherland to play Rock, Paper, Scissors if they want to get serious. Cause there ain’t no fight like a Russian slap fight cause a Russian slap fight don’t stop! – Till someone dies or is sent to Sibera for being a pussy.
 

By smitty posted December 18th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

The Future Looks Bright: Lehigh Valley Phantoms Score 3 Goals In 21 Seconds

"I've never even done it in a videogame!" - Phantoms player who you have never heard of before.

“I’ve never even done it in a videogame!” – Phantoms player who you have never heard of before.

Phantoms-Senators-Box-Score

First off, I don’t know whose brilliant idea it was to turn 21 seconds into a video over 2 minutes but that doesn’t make for great YouTube-ing. Either way, check out the gosh darn Lehigh Valley Phantoms, eh? 3 goals in the first 36 of play, all of which came within 21 seconds of each other. Think about it. I’m almost positive you could have filmed an Instagram video of all 3 goals without having to pause at all. BOOYAH indeed. Life as a Flyers fan in this bleak December has been dark and dreary, weak and weary. But maybe, just maybe, there’s something to be optimistic about moving forward. Probably not, but you never know. Either way, the Lehigh Valley Phantoms now own an AHL record for the fastest 3 goals ever scored by a single team and that’s reason enough to pop bottles. And don’t forgot to pour some out for Sens’ goaltender Andrew Hammond. Respect for the dead homeys.

Flyers v. Panthers tonight. Vinny makes his return to the lineup. Can’t wait. Should be loads of fun.

By jordie posted December 18th, 2014 at 9:35 AM

This Piece On Chip Kelly’s Offensive Roots At New Hampshire Is A Must Watch For Any Eagles, Nay, Football Fan

Caution: Offensive Genius At Work (Except against Seattle or last week when it mattered).

 
I know I posted this inside a blog earlier but it deserves to be featured on its own. Interesting stuff for any football fanatic. Like him or not, Chip Kelly is an innovator.

Caution: Offensive Genius At Work (Except against Seattle or last week when it mattered….JK love ya Chip).

By smitty posted December 17th, 2014 at 7:05 PM

Barstool Philly Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Dana

Say hello to Dana from Villanova. Blonde fire on top of fire. Send in the smokes. Email all nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com.

Say hello to Dana from Villanova. Blonde fire on top of fire.

Send in the smokes. Email all nominations to Phillytips@barstoolsports.com.

By bulldoggy posted December 17th, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Scumbag WPHT Host Chris Stigall Mocks The Phillies Fan Suffering From Cancer Who Appeared On Ellen

Sickening.

PHILLY – On Monday, cancer patient and Phillies super fan Julie Kramer appeared on the Ellen show as part of a series featuring interviews with inspiring women. The uplifting appearance included a check for $10,000 and a basket filled with Phillies swag, brought out by second baseman Chase Utley. Unfortunately, WPHT 1210 AM morning host Chris Stigall couldn’t leave well enough alone. On Tuesday’s show, Stigall had to rain all over Ellen’s gift, noting that Utley might not even be on the roster next season: “You know Chase Utley’s not going to be around to take the cancer patient to the games. It’s a nice invite, but he won’t even be there.” If that wasn’t bad enough, Stigall then decided to mock Kramer, pointing out the 23-year-old Tabernacle resident battling stage 4 synovial sarcoma might not survive through 162 games: “Plus, it’s probably terminal what that woman has. You think she’s going to live through an entire season?”

Sickening. Like, really pal? When you’re a public figure, and I use that term loosely because I had no idea who the fuck Chris Stigall was before this, there are certain things you shouldn’t even come close to joke about. People suffering from cancer is pretty high up on that list. Maybe tomorrow he can make light of kids starving or widows of soldiers. Sure that’ll land a couple of laughs for the dozens of people listening. What a dumb, dumb douche.

Prove this assclown wrong, Julie. #RightOnFightOn. Unfortunately he’s probably right about the Chase Utley.

By smitty posted December 17th, 2014 at 5:00 PM
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