This Granddaughter Who Publicly Rats Out Her Grandpa For Oogling At Women Needs To Grow Up

Hey Carrie, quit being a little bitch and let your grandfather enjoy his final years.

Is your Grandfather a creepy, dirty old man? Shit no. He’s a normal bro trying to sneak a peak. Quit being a little bitch and let your grandfather enjoy his final years. Granted, maybe Poppy shouldn’t be oozing over coeds like he just spent his hard earned money on a Nickelodeon, especially with his granddaughter present. At any age you have to treat looking at tits like gazing at the sun. You don’t stare at it, it’s too risky. You get a sense of it and look away. But still, get busy living or get busy dying. And if you take away an old man’s will to enjoy the little things in life like a bouncing booby or gust of wind exposing cheeks, you might as well have buried him already.

By smitty posted August 28th, 2014 at 5:10 PM

Real Life GoPro Footage Of American Troops In A Firefight Vs. The Taliban Is Terrifying

Just puts things in perspective of how cake a lot of our lives really are.

We’ve all played Call Of Duty. We’ve all seen Lone Survivor, Platoon and countless other war movies that attempt to put you right in the middle of the action. But a lot of us, thankfully, have never had to experience the real thing. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to hear bullets whizzing by my head in a situation where it’s “Me or Them”. Outright terrifying. I puss out when about to confront someone who is talking loud on the bus and these soldiers are bravely risking their lives for us. All while acting like it’s no big deal. Just puts things in perspective. God Bless them.

By smitty posted August 28th, 2014 at 4:15 PM

Bar Brawl Breaks Loose And The Owner Goes Right For His Trusty Pool Stick

Guess that was their "cue" to leave....annnddd I'll show myself out.

Get ‘em, Gramps! Don’t blame this little old coot one bit for breaking out Lucille and taking these hooligans out. His bar, his rules. If he wants to hack away blindly like Vlad Guerrero in his prime then more power to him. It worked.

I guess that was their “cue” to leave….annnddd I’ll show myself out.

By smitty posted August 28th, 2014 at 3:15 PM

I Wish More Than Anything This Lion Cub Showed Up On MY Front Porch

Those eyes. Those baby blue eyes.



GMA – How could anyone abandon such a sweet face? Rescuers in Kettle Falls, Washington, asked themselves the same question after this baby mountain lion was found “orphaned, abandoned and malnourished” on the front porch of a home the week of Aug. 17…The rescuers took the abandoned cub to a wildlife center at Mt.Spokane Veterinary Hospital to help the animal regain his strength. Luckily for the sweet, little cub however, he is now happy and healthy– and has already found a new forever home 2,500 miles away at ZooAmerica, an AZA accredited zoo, in Hershey, Pennsylvania.

Oh, my, god. That’s the most adorable furball I’ve ever seen. Look at those eyes. I hate it when good things happen to stupid people. How could these bozos be so lucky to have this little guy end up at your doorstep and then throw it all away by calling up the wildlife authorities to report it. No, you idiots. You bring him in and raise him as one of your own. I now need a baby mountain lion in my life more than ever. I’d take the little dude with me everywhere I go. We’d be best friends and just romp around all day. I’d never have to worry about starting conversation with the female folk again in my life because they’d all be coming to me to get a little playtime action in with the cub. I’d be set. And I know that one day he might outgrow my mom’s basement and I’d have to release him back into the wild. But there’s really no difference between that and a parent sending their kid off to college so we’ll just cross that bridge when we get to it. Regardless, this lion cub just melted my heart and now I’m seriously contemplating taking a ride out to Hershey to steal him/get chocolate/go on the rides.

By jordie posted August 28th, 2014 at 1:45 PM

Barstool Philly Sports Podcast Featuring DMV Nate Who May Or May Not Be Trashed

Somebody had their fair share of Peach Schnapps.


Somebody had their fair share of Peach Schnapps.

Drunk or not, we actually had a good chat about the NFC East, the NFL in general, gambling and teams ready to haul ass in the MLB for the Playoffs. This coming off a last place Phillies sweep of the first place Nationals. Eat it, America. Now excuse me while they go back to shitting on themselves. Thanks to Nate for hopping on. Good times had by all.

And this episode was brought to you by ClickItTicket.


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By smitty posted August 28th, 2014 at 12:05 PM

Nick Foles Crashing Fantasy Drafts Is A Lot More Awkward Than It Needs To Be

Dude has a mug for radio and the personality of a stale crouton.

Tip of the cap to whoever was in charge of Nick Foles going Undercover Cracker right in South Philly. No shit the 6’6 dude who’s one of the most recognizable athletes in the city was marked instantly. You can’t disguise that Napoleon Dynamite face with a hipster stash and expect to skate through unnoticed.

Regardless, Foles has a mug for radio and the personality of a stale crouton. And you know what? That’s good. Not exactly great for advertising dollars as that Nike contract takes a backseat to Courtyard Marriott, but for the Eagles it’s fantastic. Him being this socially awkward means it’s more hours out of the club and into the playbook. Between that and Chip Kelly not having a wife – he’s “married to football” – I smell the most prepared team in the NFL for years to come.



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By smitty posted August 28th, 2014 at 11:15 AM

Mike Vick Got A Little Pissy When Riley Cooper Didn’t Return His Text

OMG OMG OMG. I wonder if Riley de-friended him on Fbook, too?

ESPN (Snippets From A Long Article) – “I just felt like I was the most capable guy on that team of taking a stand for Riley, and being a voice for him at that time,” Vick said. Without taking that stand and being that voice, Vick maintained, the video of Cooper’s racial slur “was going to derail our team. Unfortunately, it was going to derail Riley’s career. It would have ended his career.”

“I stood in front of the team,” Vick said. “I stood in front of the cameras and defused that whole situation.”

“Guys were mad at me for a while,” he said of fellow Eagles. “They were upset with me for a day or two, like six or seven guys who were just like, ‘Really, how could you do that?’ And then I’m getting phone calls from people everywhere, and my Twitter page is kind of in an uproar. But I took that stand for him, man, and I just hope at the end of the day that he appreciates that.”

“A couple of things transpired since [the incident] that I dislike, and I’ll be honest with you,” Vick said. “After he signed his contract, I sent him a text and I never got a text back, and that made me feel a certain type of way. But I’m not the type of guy who holds grudges.”

Vick said he told his former teammate he was proud of him in the text that wasn’t returned. When it was suggested to him that any white player in Cooper’s shoes should owe the quarterback an eternal debt of gratitude, Vick said, “I’d have you on speed dial. That’s the only reason I say I hope Riley appreciates that. His life is his life and he played good football last year, and he was always like a little brother to me. But money should never change an individual, and I’m not saying it did that to Riley.”

OMG OMG OMG. I saw Vick posted a quote about friendship on IG last year he totallllyyyyy meant for Coop to see that. I wonder if Riley de-friended him on Fbook, too? Cause he like, def should have.

First off, this is the biggest non-story in the history of “journalism”. And I say that as a smut blogger who has more than once posted about Nick Foles’ hammer and how, if uncaged, can Godzilla up and down the East Coast. Should Cooper have returned his text? Absolutely. Vick took a stance that no one else would when the Kenny Chesney story that almost got me fired, again, because our competition got the video first broke. Riley owes Vick A LOT for standing in his corner when he didn’t have to do anything.

That being said, there’s no way Cooper just wouldn’t respond out of being a dick. What do you think he was doing right after he signed his contract? The man just became a multi-millionaire and has truck nuts on his 4×4 for Christ’s sake. Dude was probably on the bender to end all benders and either didn’t see the text or was blacked out. Probably both. I have maybe 6 people that text me on a weekly basis and I still miss some of the messages. Can you imagine what Riley Cooper’s inbox is like? The ‘tang texts alone must get into the hundreds.

I get where Vick is coming from, but he shouldn’t even have mentioned anything in the first place. Next time just pick up the Sweet Valley High book and read the pain away.

By smitty posted August 28th, 2014 at 10:30 AM

That Was Such A Pretty Rainbow Until God Got Angry

Isn't nature lovel-HOLYFUCKSTICKS.

Isn’t nature lovel-HOLYFUCKSTICKS.

Shit, I would like you to meet pants. How do you do? It’s all fun and games until Zeus decides to play. That sounds less like a lightning strike and more like a goddamn bomb. Literally no warning whatsoever, too. One second you’re getting lost in the beauty of life then BOOM! Pikachu from Smash Brothers tries to melt your face off. Mother Earth is a cunning cunt sometimes.

By smitty posted August 28th, 2014 at 9:40 AM
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