NJ – A man called “Hammer” sold “Ebola” out of a New Jersey hotel room, according to police. Toms River Police arrested a 47-year-old New Jersey man Monday after finding more than 600 packets of heroin, many of them branded “Ebola,” along with crack cocaine inside a room at the Ramada Inn along Route 9. Toms River Police executed a search warrant on Barnabas “Hammer” Davis’ hotel room after the Lakewood Township Police Department’s Street Crimes Unit tipped them off to alleged drug dealing out of rear suites at the hotel. Investigators found 633 wax folds containing heroin and about 40 grams of crack cocaine in Davis’ possession, according to police. Officials said the heroin had a variety of “trademark” stamps, including the brand name “Ebola.”
Gotta strike while the iron is hot, and Ebola is officially “in”. People are making 500K selling Ebola Vitiman C Tablets for goodness sake. Hammer is making up for that failed GED by being business savvy. That’s all. Regardless, I’d rather drink a gallon of Ebola than ingest whatever smack Hammer’s packing in that hotel room. Whatever’s manifesting in the bed sheets of a Jersey Ramada Inn is 100000x deadlier.
Imagine watching a debate between Nikki Benz and all the other jabroni candidates when Nikki breaks out the line about how she realized she should be the Mayor of Toronto while she was getting pounded in the ass by a 300 lb truck driver.
Sorry, BC. Ever since Nikki Benz threw her tits into this race a few months ago, we’ve all known that it would be an uphill battle for Rob Ford. I tried holding out as long as possible but after watching this video there’s just no possible way anyone can’t not be on board the Nikki Benz train. While I’d never consider myself much of an expert in campaign management, I think it’s next to impossible that she doesn’t earn at least 99% of the vote on October 27th. Mainly because it’s only horny old dudes who actually go out to vote for Mayoral elections (assuming that’s a fact). Imagine watching a debate between Nikki Benz and all the other jabroni candidates when Nikki breaks out the line about how she realized she should be the Mayor of Toronto while she was getting pounded in the ass by a 300 lb truck driver. That’s literally all she has to say and then promptly drop the mic. You think anyone cares anymore about the actual politics involved in the race? Hell no. We’ve got butt-stuff in the equation now. The politics can wait, I just need you to find me that video of our soon Mayor-to-be getting railed out on the interstate. Sure, Rob Ford was a rock star. He was a man of the people. But once “The Mayor Next Door” commercials are on the air, the entire population of Toronto will be doing boners and if there’s one thing I know about politics, it’s that it’s fueled by boners.
And there you have it. Everything is spelled out in the Podcast, but basically it’s a modern day Greek freaking Tragedy. If you think I’m bluffing it’s pretty much all laid out in the statistics. The two names I played under the most were Smitty1581 for Pokerstars and MonkeyFunMan (WTF was I thinking with that one?) on Fulltilt, but in reality I was playing under my girlfriend’s and friend’s accounts, too, and try to get the most out of deposit bonuses and such. That doesn’t even include Bodog/AP/UB and other sites.
Oh, and after you listened to myself explain how online poker basically ruined 3+ years of my life, be sure to sign up for the 2nd Annual Barstool Poker Tournament tonight (MUST PLAY IN JERSEY). It’ll be the first time I’m back to the online felt since 2011. Damn right I expect to win the comeback player of the life award.
Philly – There isn’t a prize for coolest bye week story, but if there were, Jon Dorenbos would probably win it. He has become friends with a big-time movie producer named Steve Chasman, who is from the area and remains an ardent Philadelphia fan. Dorenbos was at Chasman’s house in Los Angeles for dinner, doing card tricks and all his usual schtick when in walks Mel Gibson, who lives up the road in Malibu. “He was really cool and has this great voice,” Dorenbos said. “I’d describe him as polite and humble. He and I were doing card tricks together for the kids that were there. We had this thing going for about 15 minutes where he would guess the card every time. And, yeah, he’s a really good-looking guy in person.”
Cool story, Jon. Hopefully Mel rubbed some aggression off so the next punt returner can’t make it 2 steps before he’s decapitated by #46.
So what’s the point of the blog? 1) To post pictures of Dorenbos’ wife, of course.The man has to be a magician to out kick his coverage this much with his wife. She’s probably put in a trance so deep even Peter from Office Space would feel bad. And, B) Revisit the glorious Mel Gibson tapes. There are somethings that need to be revisited once every so often to appreciate the greatness that it once was. Caddyshack. The Tourettes Guy. Lindsay Lohan’s face and tits circa Mean Girls era before the coke and cock got to her. Just something that you remember and see that instantly puts a smile on your face.
WOW. Just 24 hours ago (and the months leading up to the vote) it seemed like the Sixers strategy of outright shitting the bed was going to leave them with stains on the sheets for years. What a turn of events. The O/U of 16 wins might as well be bumped down to 3 at this point. Hinkie is gonna blow this bitch up out of spite. Now it’s time to be more excited for the 2019-2020 season then ever. TDII baby. #TogetherWeTank
I wonder if he'll figure out a way to open those God-forsaken deodorant forcefields they have protecting the Old Spice
Well there’s something you don’t see everyday. That bear’s gonna be pissed when it buys a pack of gum and gets a receipt literally 8 feet long. I wonder if he’ll figure out a way to open those God-forsaken deodorant force fields they have protecting the Old Spice. My guess is no. All I want to do is get some antiperspirant so my underarms don’t resemble the Everglades. Is that too much to ask? I have to break through a mini-Fort Knox cause a couple of thugs constantly single out the deodorant aisle like they’re in The Italian Job. You know we’re living in a society.
“That is soooo cute”. Oh yeah? Strut your tits outside into the waiting paws of the Mama Bear and see if following her cub through the aisles is still adorable. NEVER mess with a baby because you never know if the mother is around the corner. Still probably the scariest video I’ve ever seen:
She looks like she's one order of Popcorn Chicken away from looking and smelling like the inside of the Colonel's for the rest of her life.
Yahoo - A lovesick Chinese woman dumped by her boyfriend spent an entire week in a KFC eating chicken wings. Depressed Tan Shen, 26, from Chengdu, in China’s southwest Sichuan Province, decided she needed some fried comfort food to get over her ex. She stopped off at a KFC near a train station by her home, but ended up staying for a whole week because she ‘needed time to think’.
Spending a full day in KFC after getting broken up with is just a pretty standard protocol. You’re feeling like you’re at your lowest point in your life and all you really need is a few buckets full of Original Recipe Boneless Chicken and all the mashed potatoes in the world. Spending 2 full days is perfectly fine because it takes some more time to get over the devastation than it does for others, I get that. Spending 3 full days in KFC is a little troublesome but at least you still get the benefit of the doubt. And then that’s where things tend to go awry. 4-5 days and you’re just a pussy who can’t get over your emotions. Now I would never guess that there could be anyone who would spend anything more than 5 days inside a KFC after getting dumped. You’d figure a person that gross would be used to getting broken up with by now and would just revert back to the 24-hour binge period of their life. But not Tan Shen of Chengdu, China. And don’t get me wrong, her dedication to the craft is certainly admirable. But someone needs to tell that fat slob to get back on that fucking horse. This is no way to go about life. She looks like she’s one order of Popcorn Chicken away from looking and smelling like the inside of the Colonel’s for the rest of her life.