Flyers in FIVE.
First playoff matchup since 1997. 1997 was a great year for me. Typical day would include cruisin’ on my Redline440 rockin’ the Nautica Tee, listenin’ to When Disaster Strikes on my Sony Discman, no handed, drinkin’ Snapples and shit. Come home from a long day of holdin’ hands with my girlfriend, play some Final Fantasy VII, and then jerk off to fuzzy porn and 1-800-WEARE18 commercials for the rest of the night. Those were the best days of my life, and they would all come to a crashing halt when the greatest Flyers team of my lifetime got their asses handed to them in four games by the all mighty 97 Redwings. That’s the last time I cried about sports. The Legion of Doom-led Flyers did however beat the Rangers in the East Finals in a great series that saw a grizzled old Messier pass the torch to a prime-time stud Eric Lindros. Now it’s 2014, and a scorching hot Claude Giroux-led Flyers will be taking on the hated Rangers on the long road to the Cup.
Series is pretty easy to handicap on paper. Rangers got the defense, Flyers got the scoring depth. Flyers can’t win in the Garden, Rangers get caught up in the Flyers shenanigans and take dumb penalties. Rangers should win in SIX, but that’s not what’s gonna happen. The Flyers are gonna beat the shit out of the Rangers, and win in FIVE, and here’s five reasons why.
Mason’s status is in question for the series, but Emery has great numbers against the Rangers, so don’t worry about Mason not playing. This actually may work out better for us. On the other hand, Mr. Swedish Orange Soda is as good as they get. I’m not really sure why I made goaltending a key to victory, but don’t be surprised when Lundqvist gives the Wells Fargo Center free McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches when the Flyers light him up for 4+ a couple times back at home.
Nash, Stepan, Richards, and St. Louis are all legitimate scoring threats, and the Flyers don’t have a Pronger to shut them down. What we do have is mind games and physicality, and each one of these players is easy to rattle. They’re gonna need all these guys to contribute offensively in order to beat the Flyers, and I just don’t see that happening.
Rangers suck and the Flyers are awesome. It’s that simple. In a series that’s gonna feature mad penalties, the Flyers clearly have the advantage on the PP, thus the advantage in the series.
Once again, the Rangers suck. It all comes down to the little things in the playoffs, and just like the Rats that infest every inch of New York City, face-offs are huge little things. The Rangers take 35 shots a game on average and get tons of offensive draws, but won’t capitalize on these opportunities because they are horrible in the circle.
Grizzly-ness is next to Godliness in the playoffs. Teams gotta go balls out every shift, and the Flyers are willing and able to expose their testicles relentlessly. I haven’t counted, but off the top of my head, I must have seen the Flyers come from behind in the last five minutes of the third at least seven times this year. That’s the kind of shit championship teams do. The Flyers are going to flat out steal three games from the Rangers in either overtime or the final minutes of the third in multiple games this series because the key players on the Rangers are soft as baby shit, and the Flyers are bunch of tenacious assholes who eat pieces of shit like them for breakfast…. and yes Happy, they do eat shit for breakfast , makes them tough.
Looking for Vinny Lecavalier to be a hero in this series. Vintage Vinny. I’m talking Dave Andreychuk. I’m talking banging a 19 year old Brittney Spears. This is the year that signing a declining super-star for big money is going to work out for Philadelphia, I KNOW IT! I mean it has too right? Just by the law of averages….Science= Victory. Flyers in FIVE.
LET”S GO FLYERS!