Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

Around Barstool

Kid Being Intentionally Walked Socks Home Run But Still Has To Live With The Worst Parents On Earth

Sweet strike on an intentional walk.

First of all, sweet strike on an intentional walk. Poor pitcher easily caused some overly competitive Dad on his side to burst a capillary with that move. It’s a simple pitch and catch, man. Get it out of Danny Almonte’s 6’0 reach and move on to the next batter.

Secondly it doesn’t matter home many dingers this supposed 12-year-old swats in his Little League career. Guy could be the cream of the crop crushing Big League Chew on the field and middle school sleepovers off. When you have parents like that it’s going to be difficult to grow up and escape the tool shed. How do you know their kid is the greatest thing in the entire universe? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. Don’t even get me started on the poor batting etiquette. You don’t talk in someone’s backswing on the golf course and you sure as shit don’t do it on the baseball diamond*. No doubt in my mind whenever he K’s he turns around and tells his parents to shut the fuck up before throwing his helmet. With parents like that there’s no way he’s not spoiled as shit.

*Played slow-pitch softball against a guy who, from the bench, will yell out while his team was batting if a pitch is good enough to swing at or not mid-air. If that dude was on my squad there’s a solid chance he’s sitting on a standing bat by the 2nd inning. Infuriating.

By smitty posted April 21st, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Passengers Standing Up To The Bad Guy Is Your Must-See Feel Good Bus Fight Video Of The Day

THIS is what America is about. Standing up for what's right even when all you wanna do is ride the shitty bus home and not make eye contact with anybody.

Maybe it’s just the Easter spirit still flowing through my body but I damn near teared up watching this clip. Can’t remember a more emotional bus fight video with such clear “hero” and “villain” roles. Leather Jacket Bad Guy is loud and menacing and screaming obscenities at an old couple when the old man finally has enough, goes into YOLO mode, and tackles the problem head-on. Our Villian takes one lazy swing at the old man then every dude on the bus jumps up to kick his ass. I swear I’m getting misty just writing about it. What a great thing to happen to such a horrible human being. Nobody ever deserved to get his comeuppance like this motherfucker deserved to get his comeuppance.

THIS is what America is about. Standing up for what’s right even when all you wanna do is ride the shitty bus home and not make eye contact with anybody.

By maurice posted April 21st, 2014 at 9:40 AM

Flyers Get The Split, Earn First MSG Win In Three Years

[Photo by Scott Levy/NHLI via Getty Images] Still a little shocked Geezus hasn’t risen, but a win is a win. Rangers are getting worn down. Beat up. Realanonymous’ crazy Flyers in 5 prediction status: STILL LOOKING STRONG. 4/20: the day the Akeson hate tweets died.

winner

FINAL SCORE

[Photo by Scott Levy/NHLI via Getty Images]

Still a little shocked Geezus hasn’t risen, but a win is a win. Rangers are getting worn down. Beat up. Realanonymous’ crazy Flyers in 5 prediction status: STILL LOOKING STRONG.

4/20: the day the Akeson hate tweets died.

By maurice posted April 20th, 2014 at 2:59 PM

Happy 420 Easter

Big day today. Had to hit it with the Blingee. 1.) Easter 2.) 4/20 3.) Flyers Playoff Game It’s also Hitler, Luther Vandross, Carmen Electra, and Joey Lawrence’s birthdays. Whoa.
happy420easter
christ weedsnoop weed bunny

blazeitandpraiseit

Big day today. Had to hit it with the Blingee.

1.) Easter
2.) 4/20
3.) Flyers Playoff Game

It’s also Hitler, Luther Vandross, Carmen Electra, and Joey Lawrence’s birthdays. Whoa.

By maurice posted April 20th, 2014 at 9:53 AM

Video: Drake Says Jay Z ‘Is Somewhere Eating A Fondue Plate’ During Raptors/Nets Broadcast

Canadians are WAY too confident these days.

drake jay

going home

no new friends

SHOTS FIRED.

It IS an ironic matchup: old-ass Brooklyn team with all the experience in the world facing the younger, hungrier Toronto squad. Is that irony? I don’t even know anymore.

First the owner of the Raptors says “Fuck Brooklyn” now Drake is firing shots during the game? Canadians are WAY too confident these days.

Sorry Mrs. Drizzy for so much art talk /
Silly me rappin’ ’bout shit that I really bought /
While these rappers rap about guns they ain’t shot /
And a bunch of other silly shit that they ain’t got /

By maurice posted April 19th, 2014 at 3:19 PM

Kid’s Father Passes Away, Family Receives Random Condolence Letter From Claude Giroux

Class move by the Flyers front office.

flyers letter

good guy claude giroux

RedditMy father passed away on the 12th. This surprised us in the mail today. Story: My dad was one of the biggest Flyers fans and would have absolutely loved this. He wasn’t even part of the organization and we did’t have season tickets. Somebody must have called and told them about him because we were all amazed to see this arrive today. We had no idea. And I know he didn’t write the letter but for Giroux to sign it means so much to me. I can’t explain just how much hockey meant to him and our relationship. I know the Flyers get a bad rap and we love to fight with our rivals but I figured everyone and anyone who’s a hockey fan could appreciate this.

“Oh behalf of the entire Philadelphia Flyers organization, I would like to thank Patrick (BLANK) for his years of support and dedication to our hockey team. Patrick’s constant support and unfailing loyalty is a true testament to the bond between our team and our fans and exemplifies why we have the best fans in the National Hockey League. Our thoughts are with the (BLANK) family during this difficult time and we would like to express our sincere condolences to you and your family.

Sincerely,

Claude Giroux
Captain, Philadelphia Flyers”

Good guy Claude Giroux. The man wasn’t even a season ticket holder. Class move by the Flyers front office.

By maurice posted April 19th, 2014 at 1:55 PM

Guy Behind Home Plate At The Padres Game Can’t Get It In No Matter How Hard He Tries

It's a matter of respect.

So I’m watching the Giants play the Padres on tv and I caught this guy (under the Stanley sign) trying to sneak a little between pitch kiss and get shut down HARD. I mean he gets interrupted, stops and goes back for one last hurrah just to get the ultimate humiliatior. Hand to the face audible “Stop”. Must have been 16 or 17 kiss attempts. You gotta feel for the guy still a little bit.

Viva
Matt

Poor soul. Hey honey, you see where you’re sitting? Best seats in the house. Combine those tickets with the food, drink and chloroform he’s now going to be forced to use later, that’s a pretty little penny. Not saying you have to become captain of the varsity slut team here, but give a little something when he goes in for the kill on national TV. It’s a matter of respect.

Cute noise at the :11 mark, too. Haven’t heard something that unexpectedly vile since EDP sharted

By smitty posted April 19th, 2014 at 1:08 PM

Sixers Owner Josh Harris: ‘I Think The Season Has Been A Huge Success’

HUGE SUCCESS.

josh harris

(Elizabeth Robertson/Philadelphia Inquirer Staff Photographer)

espn“When we lose, even in New York, kids come up to my family’s kids and say, ‘Hey, the Sixers lost 26 in a row. How do you like that?’” Harris said. “We don’t like that. This is my doorman, he says to me, ‘Hey, can’t you get those players going?’” “I think the season has been a huge success for us,” Harris said Friday. Give Harris credit for his honesty. The Sixers hold two lottery picks (one via a trade) and never were shy about admitting they had to tank — make that, rebuild — this season in order to start their hopeful championship track. “We don’t use that word,” Harris said of tanking. “We don’t want to be 41-41. We don’t want to be one-and-done,” Harris said. “We want this team, this city to be proud of the Sixers. We want to be proud of the Sixers.” Harris said the Sixers need at least two to four elite players to become a player again in the NBA. Could two lottery picks plus Noel and Carter-Williams serve as the ingredients in the magic formula that helps lead the Sixers to their first championship since 1983? “All these pieces are in place to make this an elite team that will compete consistently for the NBA championship,” Harris said. “There’s no shortcuts to it. Unfortunately, it takes a long time. I’m really happy with the progress.” Harris has faith in general manager Sam Hinkie to make the right calls, and he gave first-year coach Brett Brown an A for his leadership under trying circumstances. He also thanked the fans for sticking with the Sixers.

Kind of happy I don’t have any kids right now because — besides billions of other reasons — how do you explain to them why this dude is right?

“Well, son, it’s because of a broken NBA lottery system that incentivises losing in order to improve a team’s ability to land a superstar. The NBA is a superstar-driven league, so without the cap room available to bring in a max-contract salary and enough young talent to make the city a yearly contender, they’d never be desirable to superstars and would really just be spinning their wheels in mediocrity.”

I’m going to be a terrible father.

Love Josh’s honesty. Guess you don’t become a creepy super-billionaire by being scared to speak the truth. “We don’t want to be 41-41. We don’t want to be one-and-done.”

Exactly. Sometimes you gotta tank. No shortcuts.

And because I don’t want to spend more than two words on him, let’s just say Marcus Hayes’ last Sam Hinkie article was “fucking stupid”.

By maurice posted April 19th, 2014 at 12:58 PM
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