The Toronto Maple Leafs have officially become my favorite reality television show of all time. Wrote earlier today about Joffrey Lupul’s lawsuit against TSN with Dion Phaneuf and Elisha Cuthbert for airing a tweet saying he piped out The Girl Next Door. Yesterday, Lups dropped the mic and had this to say about the whole situation.
But earlier today, Lupul decided to hop in the comment section of his own Instagram on the photo you see above. Here’s how it played out.
Now I was all on board Team Joffrey for a while. These rumors suck especially when friendships and families get fucked over because of them. I’d go to war for Joffrey because once a Flyer, always a Flyer (except for Steve Downie. Fuck him). Especially with eyes like his. I’m all about that #nocomment life. But what the hell, Joff? You can’t just say you’re about it. You have to be about it. You can’t say “get familiar with #nocomment” and then immediately start mucking it up in your own comment section threatening to sue and fight people. Listen, man. I like you. I think you’re great. So just put the phone down and let me fight this battle for you. Take a break. You’ve earned it. I’ll take care of all the trolls from here. I’m officially tagging you out, and putting myself in. If anyone has shit to say to King Joffrey, you can say it to me.
P.S. – FWIW, that was a pretty terrible Instagram post.
Ew. I feel like I may get Hepatitis just looking at it. Oh how far the mighty have fallen. But you can’t blame Tara Reid one bit for trying to snake it with these pics until she somewhat makes it back to relevance. This Sharknado craze only comes around once a year and you gotta figure SyFy is only going to let them make 40 more sequels. Gotta strike while the iron is hot. Just a shame the concoction of plastic surgery, eating disorders and producer dicks for employment does a number on a body.
Also, you’re a first class bushwhacker if you think Tara Reid circa American Pie/Van Wilder wasn’t the tits of the town. Never forget:
PFT – Ingram, who becomes a free agent when his rookie contract with the Saints expires on Tuesday, appears to be on the Eagles’ radar. Lyons Yellin of WWL-TV has heard rumblings about the Eagles being interested in Ingram, whose straight-ahead running style may be more to Chip Kelly’s liking. If the Eagles were to sign Ingram, it would be the second straight season that they took a running back from New Orleans. Last year they acquired Darren Sproles in a trade with the Saints.
Obviously he’s not going to put up Shady numbers, but I don’t hate it. Ingram has been running ANGRY when he gets his hands on the ball. Pair the Heisman winner up with Sproles and selectively Chris Polk and BOOM! There’s your three headed monster. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind picking up someone in the draft as it’s the deepest running back class in recent memory and you can get someone decent late and cheap. But, hey, put in a downhill veteran running back that Chip Kelly likes and I ain’t gonna be mad about it.
WASH – During a committee hearing last Thursday, Republicans in the Washington State Senate had a really hard time wrapping their heads around a proposal that would require the state to carry out racial impact statements on legislation when requested by lawmakers…”I want to correct what I said,” State senator Jim Honeyford shot back: “I said the poor are more likely to commit crimes, and, uh, colored most likely to be poor. I didn’t say anything else other that. And I believe that’s an accepted fact, and if you check any of your sociology books or anything else you’ll find that’s an accepted fact of our society.”
Old people. So set in their ways it’s not even worth arguing with them. Uh, dude, “Colored” is not the preferred nomenclature. African-American*, please. It’s a good thing he didn’t get heated and let the N bombs fly. But this isn’t my grandmother at the Thanksgiving table innocently describing her bus driver. This is a United States Senator. You can’t exactly ignore whatever he says and continue on the normal conversation counting down the holidays till they die. The best/worst part is what he actually said is 100000x worse than using that term. Old man Honeyford not only confirmed minorities are poor, but double downed saying they’re more likey to commit crimes. And he’s citing sociological precedent, dammit. Go ahead and check any of your fancy books.
*I’m not trying to be racist or ignorant but do black still prefer to be called African-American or just black? I legitimately have no idea and use anything at all to avoid both terms when describing someone to strangers, which obviously makes it even more awkward.
No team has been more exciting this season off the ice than the Toronto Maple Leafs
Like I said yesterday after Phil Kessel tore into the Toronto media for being a bunch of dicks to Dion, I’ve been completely enthralled by the Maple Leafs locker room dynamics. It’s a circus in there and I love every second of it. So as I’m sure plenty of you remember, the screen grab you see above is from TSN’s Trade Centre coverage on Monday, which featured a ticker displaying public tweets. Unfortunately for them, someone fell asleep at the wheel and let this specific tweet fall through the cracks. I say unfortunately because they are possibly about to get slammed with a lawsuit by King Joffrey Lupul, Dion Phaneuf and most importantly, Elisha Cuthbert. Apparently they have lawyered up, and here’s what said lawyer had to say.
via Puck Daddy – “On behalf of our clients Dion Phaneuf, his wife Elisha Cuthbert and Joffrey Lupul, we have sent a letter to TSN demanding that TSN issue a formal apology and pay a significant amount of damages to each of our clients for broadcasting a false and defamatory tweet during their trade deadline show yesterday. We are sending a similar letter to the author of the tweet, Mr. Anthony Adragna.
“It is bad enough that there are people who spend their time using social media to publish such false and malicious stories, but it is made much worse when a reputable media outlet like TSN gives broad circulation and credibility to these false stories by republishing them as TSN did.
“If TSN and Mr. Adragna do not immediately comply with the demands set out in our letters, we have instructions from our clients to immediately commence a lawsuit against them.
TSN had originally tweeted out an apology to 2 Leafs 1 Girl, and here was their formal on-air apology from last night’s broadcast.
Now I know that you all expect me to know a ton about the law. Canadian law specially. But the fact of the matter is that I just don’t. So I have no idea if that on-air apology is going to be enough to make this lawsuit go away. I don’t know what the defamation laws in Canada are like. Sue me. But please don’t sue me. What I can say about all of this, however, is that the whole “this NHL player banged that NHL player’s wife” rumor is quickly starting to get very played out. Here’s something Chief had to say when he blogged about Patrick Sharp’s similar situation last week that really stuck with me. “Just because a guy is hot and has great hair, it doesn’t mean he’s banging everyone’s wife”. It’s no secret that hockey players are the best looking athletes in the world. Sure, you have your Brady’s in football or your Matt Harvey’s in baseball. But per capita, hockey has the hottest athletes. And that’s why all of these rumors start flying around with reckless abandon. People think to themselves, wow these guys are all so hot there’s just no way that they’re not railing out each other’s girlfriends and wives. So then they tweet that (regardless of thinking of it as a joke or not), that tweet ends up getting broadcasted on TSN, and then they find themselves in the middle of a lawsuit with two NHL players and a smokey smokey babe. So the moral of the story here is that just because hockey players are hot, it doesn’t necessarily mean they fuck everything that moves and has a ring on her finger. I mean I’m sure plenty of them do, but let’s just stick to not naming names here.
Sidenote: I hope for some reason Lupul gets PAID from this lawsuit. That way he can come to Philly on the cheap and life will be great again.
If you're ordering anything other than breakfast food or fries at a roadside diner, you deserve everything that comes your way.
ENGLAND – A customer was left feeling sick after settling down to eat a burger only to find a live caterpillar wriggling out from the lettuce. The 28-year-old from South Shields was enjoying a meal at Ed’s Easy Diner, at the Metro Centre, Gateshead, after a cancelled operation on January 23. The following day the man’s partner contacted the restaurant but said he received no response so her father intervened, after which he claimed he was told the meal would be on the house. He has now vowed never to return to the chain. He added: ‘I was offered a £50 voucher and £100 to the charity of my choice but I’m never going to eat there again.”
Hey, if you’re ordering anything other than breakfast food or fries at a roadside diner, you deserve everything that comes your way. The fact this chap risked his life ordering a burger at a truck stop in England means he should be counting his blessings. It was a 50/50 shot he would die of dehydration from shitting out his soul or kill his entire family via Mad Cow Disease after ingesting that death burger. A fury Caterpillar should be no big deal. But props for him for sending in his boyfriend and then his Daddy in to get a giftcard and small donation to what might as well be The Human Fund. That’ll make up for not being able to eat a decent meal for the rest of his life.
Of course 90% of Philly are blowhards that lose the forest through the trees and wouldn't know a football if it Hans Moleman'd them in the dick.
First off, I’ll admit I was as taken back as anyone when this went down last night. It’s not everyday a superstar, face of the franchise offensive STUD who at just 26 is traded for a LB that spent 2013 on the IR. Shady is the Eagles all-time leading rusher who led the league in that category in 2013. Hell, he had an “off” yeah last season and still ran for 1,300+ yards while Darren Sproles sniped 30% of his snaps. Shady’s a certified beast who had over 700 touches in just 2013 and 2014 alone. Why would the Chip Kelly whip it out and piss in all of our cereals?
Let’s evaluate beginning with what we got. I didn’t know much about Kiko Alonso other than he’s a white animal (and borderline felon) out of Oregon that had a promising rookie year and got hurt in a freak accident – tearing his ACL while training alone last year. The more and more I look into this cat, the more I love what I see. If healthy (he also tore his other ACL in college, but keep in mind Jeremy Maclin was in the EXACT same situation going into last year), Alonso is as close to a Luke Kuechly as you’re going to get. This beast played every defensive snap as a rookie and had 159 tackles in 2013. In comparison, the Eagles leading tackler Mychal Kendricks had 83 tackles last season. Kiko may be a little undersized but he is an athletic, instinctual FREAK. Can you imagine having a healthy Alonso and Kendricks holding down the middle for the next 5-10 seasons? It just fucking moved and moved hard. This is a defensive city at heart and I couldn’t love it any more. Plus, his name is Kiko. That alone means he already has legendary boss material written all over him.
But in reality, this trade is all about value. By making this move they not only get a LB that very well become our Urlacher for the next decade, but it opens up cap space for multiple starters to be signed by the Birds. Think about this: In 3, 4, 5 years from now, would you rather have McCoy at around or above 30 years old, or Kiko Alonso, Byron Maxwell and 2 other solid starters? If you think about it that way, you’re either a pessimist or a Fantasy Football Mom if you believe this isn’t a great deal for the Eagles. They sold Shady at his peak and got the maximum value in return. Not to mention the RB position has been devalued greatly and this year’s draft class has the best backfield talent in the last decade. It’s not going to be THAT difficult picking up most of Shady’s slack. But granted, it’s ALL about who Chip decides to sign with this money. His big FA splashes haven’t been anything to write home about so far in his administration. Other than a couple high motor guys on Special Teams there really hasn’t been a great splash signing. Shit, Cary Williams and James Casey were highly touted when picked up and aren’t even on the team two years later. They HAVE to make the right moves with this money or, yes, this trade has potential to be wasted.
Let’s face it, the Eagles haven’t won a playoff game since 2008. Cutting some of the fat off this team and bringing in fresh meat might not be a bad idea. One thing’s for damn sure, Chip Kelly is now either going down as the greatest coach in Eagles history, or in flames. No in-between. Also, with 9 players from Eugene, this team is officially the Philadelphia Ducks. Let’s fly together, baby.
PS – Of course 90% of Philly are are blowhards that lose the forest through the trees and wouldn’t know a football if it Hans Moleman’d them in the dick. Sports radio and talk in this town is going to be UNBEARABLE until Week 1.
If this whole "Culture Wins Football" stuff doesn't actually win anything soon then somebody put a gun in Chip Kelly's mouth and make sure I'm standing right behind him.
PFT - Trent Cole is on the way out of Philadelphia. The Eagles had been hoping to get Cole to take a pay cut, but that hasn’t happened. Now Cole is expected to be released within the next 24 hours, according to Adam Caplan of ESPN. Cole is a good pass rusher who has 14.5 sacks in the last two seasons, but with his cap number scheduled to be $11.6 million this season, it’s no surprise that the Eagles felt like that was more than they could justify spending.
Filed to ESPN: Bills have notified LB Kiko Alonso he is going to be traded to Philadelphia for RB LeSean McCoy. Trade official next week.
Is Sam Hinkie running this ship? What the fuck is going on in South Philly? It would be one thing if all this talent is being replaced by something, but that has yet to be seen. Trent Cole was a pretty damn productive player last year. The DE, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. Shady is Shady. Sure, last year was subpar compared to his previous breakout seasons, but he’s still pound for pound the best RB in Eagles history and is only 26.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s the shock of it all. Trent Cole and Todd Herramens were the two longest tenured Eagles BY FAR and they’re now gone. LeSean was arguably the face of the franchise and made one hell of a fucking t-shirt that we’ll now have to ship over to Africa (Packaged with those fresh, midnight green “Sanchize”‘s). BUT, RB’s are a dime a dozen now. I’m comfortable with a healthy (if that’s even possible) Darren Sproles and letting Polk run angry. Kiko Alonso is young (24), very good (when healthy as he missed last season with a torn ACL) and should be a staple in our D for years to come. Of course he’s a fucking Oregon boy which is REALLY starting to piss me off, but in the end this might be a great move. Again, I don’t know. Hopefully we got a draft pick or 8 to go along with it because straight up that trade looks preposterous, even if Buffalo is taking on that bloated contract.
Still, there’s a lot of cap space being freed with not that much mega talent hitting the market. Obviously Maclin is going to get paid by the Birds and they’ll try to keep Brandon Graham and go after Byron Maxwell, but who else? They just gonna buy a whole new secondary? Drop $30 million and Nick Foles to some greedy bastard holding a Top 5 pick? My head hurts just thinking about everything.
If this whole “Culture Wins Football” stuff doesn’t actually win anything soon then somebody put a gun in Chip Kelly’s mouth and make sure I’m standing right behind him.