Here’s A Giants Fan Getting Showered With Trash By The Philly Faithful

Hey, nobody's perfect.

I’ll own up to this one. Hey, nobody’s perfect. For as much as I try to defend Philly fans for being “Philly fans”, yeah, this doesn’t help the stereotype. Did he deserve to be boo’d, ridiculed and be the catalyst for the ol’ “Assssssshooollleee” chants for 60 minutes? Of course. However, throwing shit is crossing the line unless it’s warranted. And yes, if he stood there for 3 more seconds with his arms open, it would’ve been 100% warranted. This guy had enough trash on the field to worry about and didn’t deserve getting it thrown in his face.

At least Eagles and Giants fans can all come together to despise the Cowboys. #FUCKDALLAS

By smitty posted October 13th, 2014 at 1:10 PM

Teacher In Washington In A Little Trouble After Lining Up Students To Pelt Girl With Koosh Balls

If someone broke out a Koosh Ball right now, I'd be the happiest I've been in a while.


WASH - A 15-year-old girl shouts in pain in a classroom in shocking video uncovered by KATU’s On Your Side Investigators. It’s one of two videos that show students being pelted with Koosh balls at a local high school under the direction of a chemistry teacher. The teacher, Kem Patteson, is now on administrative leave from her job at Stevenson High School in Skamania County. I was chewing gum in class,” Zapf said. “She looked over and she told me to spin the wheel and that’s like a normal thing.” Zapf says when she spun the so-called “wheel of misfortune” Patteson kept in class, it landed on “cush firing squad”. After that, Zapf says nearly 30 students and Patteson, a former semi-pro baseball player, lined up to take turns hitting her with a Koosh ball. Zapf says it hurt.

Gonna be completely honest here. No schtick or anything, I think Kem Patteson is an innocent woman/whatever she or he is. Not even sure if this should even be a story. Quick sidenote: Hilarious how Kem Patteson teaches chemsitry. No doubt in my mind she starts off every year by telling her students her name is Kem and she’ll be teaching Chem and then awkwardly waits for laughs of approval. But yeah, the “wheel of misfortune” is one of the most genius ideas I’ve ever heard of. You wanna be a hot shot and chew gum in class? Well tough titties hun because because now your punishment is in the hands of fate ya dumbass. That’s all on you. But getting hit with Koosh Balls seems like the most fun punishment in my life. If someone broke out a Koosh Ball right now, I’d be the happiest I’ve been in a while. And I’m calling complete and total bullshit that it hurt. When you’re having that much fun, the Koosh Balls could have been frozen solid and you’d still be laughing and smiling and having a great time. So 1) Kem Patteson came up with a brilliant idea on how to punish her students. And 2) Koosh Balls are awesome. I’m scratching my head over here trying to figure out just how on Earth the administration could have gotten this one so wrong but I guess that’s just the world we live in today.


By jordie posted October 13th, 2014 at 11:50 AM

I Would Have Been A Music Major If They Taught Mozart With Tits

My dick has officially been cultured.

Reminiscent of the Beethoven Beauty of years past and again, my dick has officially been cultured. If this country wants more musicians they need to start using this method to teach the classics. Maybe not Professor Emo here, but get a cute band geek up there before she starts sitting on flutes and young Americans will be composing modern Rhapsody in Blue’s left and right. And yes I dropped a George Gershwin reference in your face on a Monday morning. Deal with it.

Haven’t seen such tit power since Homer Simpson escaped from reality.

By smitty posted October 13th, 2014 at 11:10 AM

Hey NY Daily News…Are You Fucking Kidding Me????





Yeah, that’s the same guy in the background kneeling down once realizing Cruz was hurt. The only crimes that man committed was being equally excited and ugly. ANYONE who believes fans or players were cheering Cruz’s injury is a grade-A asshole. It was a bigtime 4th and goal play that failed, hence the explosion from the fans. Of course, people fail to mention everyone cheering Cruz in support when he was being carted off, but that doesn’t fit with the “Philthy” storyline. The NY Daily News would do anything for pageviews but not even the Baby Dick Bandit wouldn’t troll this low. I guess when you’ve got nothing good to say about your city’s team you gotta create something to talk about. Half shocked they didn’t photoshop somebody throwing batteries and a bucket of warm piss on the incapacitated Cruz.

As for Mikey Miss saying “Dance to that”, here’s his response.


Understandable. I was in the stands and there was NO WAY you could tell it was initially a serious injury. I think a more appropriate question is why is Philadelphia’s premiere, drive-time sports radio personality leaving the game early in the third quarter? Violation and a half, Missanelli.

By smitty posted October 13th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

NOOOOOOO: Smokeshow Of The Century Kacie McDonnell Is Engaged

I'll see you in hell pretty boy.



And that’s that. Goodnight and good luck to the love of the life. I know Michael Scott once told Jim “So what, they’re only engaged. They’re not married.”, but the ball is officially in the redzone with these two. Might even be a first and goal. We’ll see if the 8th stringer has the guts and the nuts to punch it in before she comes crawling back.

Hey Kmarko, you had your chance and blew it. Step off my pity Tweet.



I’ll see you in hell, pretty boy.



By smitty posted October 13th, 2014 at 9:35 AM


Going into the bye feeling pretty damn good.

BOOM! Analysis tomorrow, shots on me at Xfinity tonight. Everyone has off manana, right?

By smitty posted October 12th, 2014 at 11:45 PM

Your Eagles Sunday Night Football Live Blog #BLACKSUNDAY

  Let’s. Fucking. Go. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!! Here’s to hoping Eli doesn’t ditch his extra chromosome tonight.  


Let’s. Fucking. Go. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!

Here’s to hoping Eli doesn’t ditch his extra chromosome tonight.

By smitty posted October 12th, 2014 at 8:00 PM

Both Miracles At The Meadowlands To Get You Amped For The Eagles Vs. Giants


Goosebumps. And long live Merrill Reese. Best in the game for decades.

By smitty posted October 12th, 2014 at 4:00 PM
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