Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

Happy 420 Easter

Big day today. Had to hit it with the Blingee. 1.) Easter 2.) 4/20 3.) Flyers Playoff Game It’s also Hitler, Luther Vandross, Carmen Electra, and Joey Lawrence’s birthdays. Whoa.
christ weedsnoop weed bunny


Big day today. Had to hit it with the Blingee.

1.) Easter
2.) 4/20
3.) Flyers Playoff Game

It’s also Hitler, Luther Vandross, Carmen Electra, and Joey Lawrence’s birthdays. Whoa.

By maurice posted April 20th, 2014 at 9:53 AM

Video: Drake Says Jay Z ‘Is Somewhere Eating A Fondue Plate’ During Raptors/Nets Broadcast

Canadians are WAY too confident these days.

drake jay

going home

no new friends


It IS an ironic matchup: old-ass Brooklyn team with all the experience in the world facing the younger, hungrier Toronto squad. Is that irony? I don’t even know anymore.

First the owner of the Raptors says “Fuck Brooklyn” now Drake is firing shots during the game? Canadians are WAY too confident these days.

Sorry Mrs. Drizzy for so much art talk /
Silly me rappin’ ’bout shit that I really bought /
While these rappers rap about guns they ain’t shot /
And a bunch of other silly shit that they ain’t got /

By maurice posted April 19th, 2014 at 3:19 PM

Kid’s Father Passes Away, Family Receives Random Condolence Letter From Claude Giroux

Class move by the Flyers front office.

flyers letter

good guy claude giroux

RedditMy father passed away on the 12th. This surprised us in the mail today. Story: My dad was one of the biggest Flyers fans and would have absolutely loved this. He wasn’t even part of the organization and we did’t have season tickets. Somebody must have called and told them about him because we were all amazed to see this arrive today. We had no idea. And I know he didn’t write the letter but for Giroux to sign it means so much to me. I can’t explain just how much hockey meant to him and our relationship. I know the Flyers get a bad rap and we love to fight with our rivals but I figured everyone and anyone who’s a hockey fan could appreciate this.

“Oh behalf of the entire Philadelphia Flyers organization, I would like to thank Patrick (BLANK) for his years of support and dedication to our hockey team. Patrick’s constant support and unfailing loyalty is a true testament to the bond between our team and our fans and exemplifies why we have the best fans in the National Hockey League. Our thoughts are with the (BLANK) family during this difficult time and we would like to express our sincere condolences to you and your family.


Claude Giroux
Captain, Philadelphia Flyers”

Good guy Claude Giroux. The man wasn’t even a season ticket holder. Class move by the Flyers front office.

By maurice posted April 19th, 2014 at 1:55 PM

Guy Behind Home Plate At The Padres Game Can’t Get It In No Matter How Hard He Tries

It's a matter of respect.

So I’m watching the Giants play the Padres on tv and I caught this guy (under the Stanley sign) trying to sneak a little between pitch kiss and get shut down HARD. I mean he gets interrupted, stops and goes back for one last hurrah just to get the ultimate humiliatior. Hand to the face audible “Stop”. Must have been 16 or 17 kiss attempts. You gotta feel for the guy still a little bit.


Poor soul. Hey honey, you see where you’re sitting? Best seats in the house. Combine those tickets with the food, drink and chloroform he’s now going to be forced to use later, that’s a pretty little penny. Not saying you have to become captain of the varsity slut team here, but give a little something when he goes in for the kill on national TV. It’s a matter of respect.

Cute noise at the :11 mark, too. Haven’t heard something that unexpectedly vile since EDP sharted

By smitty posted April 19th, 2014 at 1:08 PM

Sixers Owner Josh Harris: ‘I Think The Season Has Been A Huge Success’


josh harris

(Elizabeth Robertson/Philadelphia Inquirer Staff Photographer)

espn“When we lose, even in New York, kids come up to my family’s kids and say, ‘Hey, the Sixers lost 26 in a row. How do you like that?’” Harris said. “We don’t like that. This is my doorman, he says to me, ‘Hey, can’t you get those players going?’” “I think the season has been a huge success for us,” Harris said Friday. Give Harris credit for his honesty. The Sixers hold two lottery picks (one via a trade) and never were shy about admitting they had to tank — make that, rebuild — this season in order to start their hopeful championship track. “We don’t use that word,” Harris said of tanking. “We don’t want to be 41-41. We don’t want to be one-and-done,” Harris said. “We want this team, this city to be proud of the Sixers. We want to be proud of the Sixers.” Harris said the Sixers need at least two to four elite players to become a player again in the NBA. Could two lottery picks plus Noel and Carter-Williams serve as the ingredients in the magic formula that helps lead the Sixers to their first championship since 1983? “All these pieces are in place to make this an elite team that will compete consistently for the NBA championship,” Harris said. “There’s no shortcuts to it. Unfortunately, it takes a long time. I’m really happy with the progress.” Harris has faith in general manager Sam Hinkie to make the right calls, and he gave first-year coach Brett Brown an A for his leadership under trying circumstances. He also thanked the fans for sticking with the Sixers.

Kind of happy I don’t have any kids right now because — besides billions of other reasons — how do you explain to them why this dude is right?

“Well, son, it’s because of a broken NBA lottery system that incentivises losing in order to improve a team’s ability to land a superstar. The NBA is a superstar-driven league, so without the cap room available to bring in a max-contract salary and enough young talent to make the city a yearly contender, they’d never be desirable to superstars and would really just be spinning their wheels in mediocrity.”

I’m going to be a terrible father.

Love Josh’s honesty. Guess you don’t become a creepy super-billionaire by being scared to speak the truth. “We don’t want to be 41-41. We don’t want to be one-and-done.”

Exactly. Sometimes you gotta tank. No shortcuts.

And because I don’t want to spend more than two words on him, let’s just say Marcus Hayes’ last Sam Hinkie article was “fucking stupid”.

By maurice posted April 19th, 2014 at 12:58 PM

Fire Of Epic Proportions Being Battled In Sea Isle Right Now

Right behind the Springfield Inn.

SEA ISLE CITY — Several homes have reportedly been damaged by a fire that broke out near the beachfront of a Jersey Shore community, according to breaking Associated Press reports. Authorities say no injuries have been reported in the smoky fire, which broke out late Friday afternoon in Sea Isle City. But the cause of the fire has not yet been determined. Multiple fire companies are battling a blaze, which involved at least two condominium units, but it’s not clear if they were occupied. Authorities say windy conditions were also hampering the firefighting efforts. The blaze at 78th Street and Pleasure Avenue was upgraded to a two-alarm fire shortly before 5 p.m. on Friday, according to emergency scanner reports. Three dwellings were fully involved as of 4:53 p.m. Winds were reported to be pushing the flames and a water supply tanker was on the scene.

Right behind the Springfield Inn. Here’s to hoping everyone is alright. Many a makeouts have gone down in that Gazebo. Will any luck everything will be rebuilt just in time for the entire Delco population to swoop in to tear it down again.

By smitty posted April 18th, 2014 at 7:23 PM

Caitlin Wynters Sexy Easter Taking Us Into The Weekend

Was over here racking my brain about how to head into this holiday weekend when I decided to stop overthinking it and simply follow my heart. So I went to YouTube, typed in “Sexy Easter”, and this was one of the top videos. It’s one of the holiest days on the Christian calender. So naturally [...]

Was over here racking my brain about how to head into this holiday weekend when I decided to stop overthinking it and simply follow my heart. So I went to YouTube, typed in “Sexy Easter”, and this was one of the top videos.

It’s one of the holiest days on the Christian calender. So naturally we have to eat chocolate, find colored eggs, dress women as slutty bunnies, and smoke as much weed as we can find. What a great time to be alive!

Have a great weekend!

By maurice posted April 18th, 2014 at 5:30 PM

Of Course There’s A Woman Out There Shoving Paint Filled Eggs Up Her Vag Then “Laying” Them In The Name Of Art

Of course there is.

YouTube – An upright standing nude on a loft… One with ink and acrylic fueled egg… A preserved canvas…

What the spectators are about to expect, is the compressed birth of a piece of art.

Slowly the egg leaves the natal canal of the artist and smashes on the canvas, red colour flows out. The next egg contains another colour and so bit by bit, accompanied only by loud “Plops”, an abstract art work originates — archaically, uncontrollably and intuitively. At the end of this almost meditative art birth performance the stained canvas is folded up, smoothed and unfolded to a symmetrically reflected picture, astonishingly coloured and full of strong because universal symbolism.

The “PlopEgg Painting” itself releases a loose chain of thoughts — about the creation fear, the symbolic strength of the casual and the creative power of the femininity. A comparison to wild associations arises and by the intensity of the seen and experienced, one becomes clear: the art needs like so often the corporeity to be able to manifest itself.

Milo Moire’s performances start with daydreaming, with (every)daily, personal physical experiences which condense by wild associations to an internal whole piece of art about to mature and enter the world. The corporeity becomes the need for her artistic expression to make the happened – also for the spectator – experienceable. Milo Moire describes her art, as an „art led by intuition. To create art, I use THE original source of the femininity — my vagina”.

Milo Moire opens her performance cycle “The PlopEgg Painting Performance # 1 – A Birth of a Picture” on the famous art fair Art Cologne — a place at which the art gets involved in the flirtation with big figures. The hashtag 1 stands for the first Art-Birth-Picture. Other performances should follow worldwide.

Within the context of art (performance), commerce (art fair) and opinion creation (media) a deliberate-accidental creation act happens, which instantly provokes ambivalent interpretations. „In my art i try to create mental doors”, the artist says. And there is always at least one door left to pass through a mirror.

(Typical broad. Takes 20 minutes to explain something when it could be done in 2 seconds. 4 words: Naked Egg Queef Art. Done and done)

And people say art is dead. Michelangelo. Da Vinci. Picasso. All are pale in comparison to this grown woman shoving paint filled eggs up her cooch and laying them out like some sort of Pterodactyl porn. She’s just expressing her artistic views of birth. Maybe if I go and start rubbing one out on the Art Museum steps and call myself an artist we’ll have another gig on our hands. Plenty of bums down there already giving away their birth-inspired art publicly for free. Place out a canvas, name it MONEYSHOT: A Nina Agdal Piece and sell it for $10 a pop. Could probably create 3-4 good works every 24 hours. 5+ if YouJizz gets a big shipment in that day.

Love how she’s covered for the insertion of the eggs. Because watching a woman squeeze them out of her fanny like a damn reptile laying eggs in the sand is naturally PG-13. Is there an uncensored version? I’m asking for myself.

UPDATE: Why yes, yes there is. Because if you’re going to get a virus that fries your harddrive it might as well be from illegally downloading some naked broad queefing eggs. Go big or go home.

By smitty posted April 18th, 2014 at 5:05 PM
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