FLORIDA – A masked gunman who attempted to rob a group of women inside a Lake City home Friday night may have got more than he bargained for. Lake City police say Derek Lee, 24, entered a house on Lakeview Avenue where the homeowner had 14 women over for a jewelry party. Police say Lee was wearing a dark ski cap on his head along with a bandana across his face. Jacquie Hagler, who owns the house, says she then put her faith into action. “When I realized what was going on, I stood up and said, ‘In the name of Jesus, get out of my house now.’ And he said, ‘I’m going to shoot someone.’ And I said it again, real boldly,” Hagler said. “Everybody started chanting, ‘Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,’ and he did a quick scan of the room, and ran out the door as fast as he could go.”

Quite honestly I don’t blame this burglar one bit for not putting up a fight. A bunch of middle-aged chicks chanting Jesus at you like they’re the Children of the Corn isn’t something I would want to stick around to mess with. The only thing more batshit than robbing 14 old hags having a jewelry party in Florida is religious nutshits who think they’re protected by some sort of divinity when having a gun pointed at their head. Actually surprised they didn’t shoot him in the name of Jesus, which for some reason in their minds Jesus would’ve accepted. And yes, the fact she’s crazy Evangelical AND lives in Florida 100% guarantees she had at least 4 automatic weapons within an arms reach that are cocked, locked and ready to rock. Give it another 5 minutes and Derek Lee would’ve wished he was still underachieving for the Cubs.