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I’m kinda surprised you’re not on this already but this guy supposedly got jumped after the game on Sunday. Apparently he was jumped at right by the Pattison Ave Line and nobody saw it. Yeah and he was being pelted with snowballs and beer bottles while sitting in the front row but no security guard that’s facing him 30 feet away saw that either. Oh I forgot to mention they don’t serve bottles at the Linc because A-holes will throw them at you so everything’s in a cup. And to top it all off an good Samaritan helped him to his feet and threw their Birds jersey away in disgrace, get the fuck outta here with that shit! Don’t worry Mo you’re in the clear they’re looking for 6 white guys in Eagles jersey’s although you were probably at a Jet’s game anyway.

McG’s

So many holes in this tall tale I’m shocked he didn’t say he was attacked by Paul Bunyan in a Dawkins jersey then get turned to stone after looking some broad from Delco named Medusa in the eyes. Dude’s got knuckles as swollen as Rocky’s after a prize fight and he’s saying he got slapped around and sucker punched? Red flag #1. Other questionable things to note: No security cameras or other witnesses saw this but “The Good Samaritan”? What about the thousands of other people making there way home in that exact spot after the games? What about getting pelted with bottles inside the stadium when, as McG’s stated, you can only get served in cups at the Linc? Whole thing reeks.

I would put my life savings equivalent to roughly 40 bags of potato chips down on saying this is what happened:

-Victim was walking back alone drunk and indeed came across 6 white men, probably meatsticks from Delco, who were even more inebriated.

-One of the meatsticks says something in jest about the Lions shitting themselves in the snow.

-Victim takes it personally or feels threatened and swings first, landing a punch which resulted in his swollen knuckle.

-Meatsticks do what meatsticks do.

I’m not saying there’s dicks out there at Eagles games who would start stuff for the fuck of it, because there are. Plenty. But then again there are at every stadium across America and the world. If this scenario happened in The Bay Area it probably would’ve resulted in a shanking. Some Chiefs fan got beaten to death 2 weeks ago for passing out drunk in someone’s car.

As a die hard Eagles fan who is walking down the same streets with fellow asshole Eagles fans every Sunday and after listening to this guy’s fable, there is NO WAY he got the crap beat out of him unless there was some sort of instigation. Philly fans wouldn’t single out a man wearing a Detroit Lions hat for no reason and beat him to a pulp. We’re more civilized than that.* Especially committing assault right outside Pattison Ave by the AT&T Station which is the most populated spot after games with thousands of people going home. We’re smarter than that, too.** I was shooting the shit and talking trash with a table of Lions fans at Xfinity and it was all in good fun digging each other back and forth. That’s 99.99% of the “scumbag behavior” that goes down at Philly sporting events. Usually only gets worse when the opposition takes it personally, and that’s when we don’t back down.

All in all, if this guy is telling the truth they need to get these guys and make an arrest. But if he’s not, and I assume he isn’t, this dude better not show his embarrassingly shaven arms in South Philly again.

*Civilized behavior as we know it goes out the window if he were wearing a Cowboy’s hat. The supposed actions by the 6 men may have been warranted if that were the case.

**No we’re actually not.