JOHNSTON – An employee of a staffing agency on York Street told officers that a man entered the business on Monday, and during the interview process exposed his genitals, according to a report. The victim said the man entered the business and sat down at her desk while she collected information such as his name, previous employer and Social Security number, police said. “The victim stated that during the interview, she looked over and the suspect had his penis out of his pants and in his hand,” the report stated. “The victim stated that the suspect told her, ‘it fell out.’” She ordered the man to leave the building and called police. Merriweather came to Public Safety headquarters for an interview, and officers realized he had a warrant for indecent exposure. “The suspect did state that while he was talking with the victim, his penis fell out of his pants,” the report stated. “The suspect claims that he must have forgotten to zip his pants.” Merriweather is accused in a similar incident that happened on Jan. 31 at an employment agency on Richland Avenue.

The job market is stressful enough these days. Unemployment’s through the roof. Overqualified people working mundane positions left and right. It’s survival of the fittest out there. Willie Merriweather knows he has only about a 15-minute window to show his skill set to the interviewer and he damn well better impress. Unfortunately after being asked about his previous employment and to provide a social security number, whipping his dick out was still probably the best option at that point. The thing has intangibles that can’t be seen on a resume. Willie’s Merriweather got more pucks past the goalie than Wayne Gretzky in his prime. Add a highly visible battle with Hepatitis-C and the fact he’s proving he can multitask with the best of them, you’ve got yourself a worker.

Absolutely love Willie’s excuse for Dannying The DeVito during a job interview: “It fell out.” No need for a trial here on this case, that’s the most fool-proof defense I’ve heard since “The glove don’t fit, you must acquit.” But maybe it just needed some air. Sometimes it can’t breathe down there. It’s inhumane.