Does This Look Like The Face Of The World’s Greatest Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker In The World’s Greatest Newscast?
Smash. Smash. Suh-MASH! I don’t care if it made him a homeless vagrant, I need what Kai is smoking and I needed it yesterday.
This newscast has it all. Hitchhikers, hatchets, violence, fat chicks, racism, religious nutshits. Only things missing from it’s viral potential is a dog saving a puppy from drowning and a cute kitten on a boogie-board that’s riding a wave squirting out of Bar Refaeli’s vagina. You know a story is fucked up when an AX-WIELDING HITCHHIKER turns out to be the “good guy.” Hilarious from beginning to end. Plus there’s no way those behemoths “ran” to help. Waddled, maybe. Rolled? Most likely. But run? Not a chance in hell. Physically impossible.
This newscast went live on Feb. 1 and for some reason there isn’t an autotuned version 3 days later. Outright blasphemy. Expect one by lunch.
PS – The fact that this squirrel of a newscaster feels the need to wear 2 watches automatically anoints him Lord of the Douche.
[Editor's note: Phrases for today = "hella lotta bodies 'round here" & "pencil stick"]
he was probably trying to get to the super bowl to see Ray Ray
This entire incident needs to be made into a Tarantino movie immediately. My favorite part is the hug near the end.
it took you like 2 days to steal this from WSHH…what took so long?
That’s got to be the white Antoine Dodson right?
Three shots to the back of the head with a hatchet, and the guy has non-life-threatening injuries? Kai is a puss.
Kai was just trying to cut off enough to make some jerky. Should’ve taken a few slices off the fat chick too.
Yeah it is kind of troubling that kai th ehitchiker was carrying an axe
that being said id let him in my car and drive him wherever the fuck he wants.
Is it just me, or does he look like the white Antoine Dodson?!?! I am starting to think that life is just one big inside joke….
luckily there were innocent bistandards there…double watch wearing douche