CHILE – For many of us, hand sanitizer provides protection against those we touch who picked their nose, grabbed a subway pole or used the potty without washing. But this Dettol hand sanitizer ad, by Havas Worldwide in Chile, offers one possibility we may not have thought about: We may be just a few handshakes away from someone who recently played with sex toys.

I could be 5 degrees away from a used dildo at anytime? Go fuck yourself, Kevin Bacon.

No shit there’s a flu epidemic in America right now and hand-sanitizer is flying off the shelves. Little did we know that we’re 5 handshakes away from touching co-worker Marueen’s Blue Lightning Thunderdick. Hepititas-C just spreading it’s way though touch like the demon from Fallen. Plus this diagram is counterproductive anyways. The first male hand that is touched has been compromised by a raw testicle adjustment no more than 5 minutes before. And that’s if you’re lucky he hasn’t been to the bathroom in the past hour. A good guess is 85% of guys don’t wash their hands after they piss and when they do it’s a no soap rinse under the faucet for 3.5 seconds. Just show a bit of effort and no one’s a wiser.

However, if you don’t wash your hands after you shit, you just want to watch the world burn. I don’t care if you didn’t get any on your hands, you take 30-seconds for the good of humanity and wash your hands you fucking animal. Only excuse is if you live in the woods or in India and have to crap in a hole in the ground and if that’s the case the shit on your hands might actually improve your appearance.