The Phillies go down 7-5 last night and pretty much every fear that fans had entering the opener was realized. The thing about baseball is that when things don’t go well people want to assign blame to whoever fucked up.

I could go on some rant about Cole Hamels who was somewhere between ineffective and total ass while allowing three homers in five innings. Or I could come at Ryan Howard, who looked helpless as he tried to put the ball in playing in the fifth inning. But it’s one game out of 162 and it’d be insane to destroy a player for one bad night.

But I have some questions for Amaro regarding issues that are surely going to reoccur.

RAJ is like the has-been jerkoff who flips open his yearbook five years after graduation and sees the old picture of the girl he used to fuck in high school. Turns on the smooth sounds of Menudo (gotta assume that’s the only band he listens to), drinks a few beers and gets all sentimental. Next thing you know he’s three fingers deep in the stinky but quickly realizes why she dumped her in 2008. Problem is it’s too late and he already gave her $1.1 million to hang around for 8 months. That analogy makes no fucking sense? True. But there’s no way you can’t tell me that’s how the Chad Durbin thing went down.

But what I’d really like to know is why John Mayberry is here for a fifth season. How this guy is still around defies logic. Lotta people coming hard at Mayberry, who may be the worst baseball player on any team who actually started a game today, but that’s actually totally unfair– I don’t blame players who suck for sucking. I blame the moron that allows him to suck. What’s the upside? The .301 OBP over 441 painful at-bats in 2012?

If this thing doesn’t work out this year, people are going to call for Charlie Manuel’s head. And maybe they should. But they might want to take a look at his boss who filled out the roster with guys who should never exist on the roster of a contending team in the first place.

P.S.–Chase Utley is still the bee’s dick.