Calm down you little shit. You knew what you were getting into the second you donned that Homo jersey threaded from sheer disappointment. Give Eli Manning back his extra chromosome and bottle up those tears for mass production around the Philadelphia area. Millionaire overnight.
Chip Kelly may be the next Steve Spurrier. Billy Davis’s defense couldn’t stop Walter White, Jr if he had the ball. Our Special Teams could literally qualify for the Special Olympics. Hell, there’s even a chance all the No Huddle No Mercy shirts may be worn by a bunch of starving African kids soon (wouldn’t shock me at all if USC already sent a fluffer to cup Chip’s nuts). But you know what? Dallas sucks, too. So do the Giants. So do the Redskins. Fuck 8-8 taking down the division, a 7-9 and MAYBE even a 6-10 team will win the NFC East. We take next week at the Meadowlands and guess what, 2-0 in the division. 2-0 in the NFC. Tiebreaker city coming our way. Perfect set up for a Wildcard Round home shellacking against the Packers, Falcons or 49ers.