FLORIDA – Marion County Sheriff’s detectives are searching for a missing $18,000 golf cart. The Daytona International Speedway edition Club Cadet/New Holland gas-powered cart was reported missing May 6 from the Foxwood Farms Mobile Home Park. The 2011 cart was chained to a tree in a vacant lot in the 2300 block of NW 46th Court Road. The missing cart has the speedway’s logo on the hood, and has larger tires than a normal cart. The sheriff’s office said detectives found a yellow metal chain had been cut and left near the tree.

When you invest more in your NASCAR themed golf cart than you do in your own home, it’s safe to say you’ve got nothing to lose. Chances are you’re already an incident like this from going full out Ted Bundy on society. There’s only so many Newports, Bud Heavies and Blue Sky stashed in that mobile home to keep him calm. It’s a matter of time before he takes action like a true Floridian and grabs his guns, cowboy hat and bath salts and goes outside looking for his golf cart but after about 10 unsuccessful minutes settles with taking a shit on top of his neighbor’s car and beating his wife. It’s what Dale Earnheart would’ve wanted.