There are a lot of people out there, including members of my family, who get outrageously mad at people who say ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of ‘Merry Christmas.’ It’s like they’re as disgusted as if they just walked in on a nativity scene where baby Jesus is being teabagged by all three of the wise men. The fact of the matter is we live in a PC pussified world where no one wants to offend anyone else even though I’m 99% sure the Jews have had to worry about more difficulties during their existence than get all bent out of shape after being told ‘Merry Christmas.’ Also pretty sure atheists still celebrate Christmas in one form or another, too. But the fact remains, does it really matter that much? Like if people saying ‘Happy Holidays’ really pisses you off that much and ruins your Christmas experience with your family you’ve got bigger issues on your plate to worry about.

People that get mad at that are the same people that get pissed at gay marriage. It’s not like if gay marriage gets passed that all of a sudden dudes are going to be jerking off in your Cinnamon Toast Crunch every morning and turning your children gay. Same thing here. People saying ‘Happy Holidays’ aren’t going to turn your family into Barbaian heathens hellbent on raping and pillaging society while making Jesus blow up dolls to get from behind. Not like Christmas is going anywhere; anybody who says there’s a “War on Christmas” is a certified asshole. Last time I checked I was hearing Christmas songs at Halloween and by December my balls are already decorated with tinsel, pretty sure that if there is a war Santa and Jesus are kicking everyone’s dicks in.

You know what you do if it chaps your ass that much? Say ‘Merry Christmas’ to everyone and mind your own business and let everyone else mind theirs. Maybe people who care should be worried about the fact the celebration of the birth of Christ is now being represented mostly by a fat fuck in a red suit who breaks into peoples houses and leaves presents for only the rich kids.

Happy Festivus.