walt

PHILLY.com – A heavily-armed SWAT team descended on a Byberry Road home in Hatboro this afternoon and took a teenage man into custody for allegedly mailing someone a deadly poison made popular recently by the TV show “Breaking Bad,” according to reports. The suspect, identified by the Bucks County Courier Times as Nicholas Todd Helman, of the 100 block of Byberry Road, was arrested without incident. Helman allegedly told a co-worker at the Target department store in Warrington that he’d sent a poisonous scratch-and-sniff birthday card to the boyfriend of Helman’s ex-girlfriend, according to a police complaint, the Courier-Times reported. The deadly substance allegedly rubbed onto the birthday card has been identified by police as ricin, an often-fatal poison that played a central role in the wildly popular show “Breaking Bad,” which chronicled the life of a drug kingpin in New Mexico.

Hey Junior, pick up your homicide game. Did you not learn anything from Sir Heisenberg? The point of ricin is to kill without anyone knowing how it’s done. Keep your mouth shut and watch a slow death that’s made to look like a bad flu. NOT flap your lips to some random asshat coworker while stocking shelves at Target. And you delivered the deadly concoction on a scratch-and-sniff birthday card? Might as well have inserted it your vagina, pretended to be a Strippergram and queefed it out like confetti. A Walter White he is not. Well, maybe he is. Just as book smart but underachieving at a Target like Walt part-time at a car wash. Both have their women sleeping around and have a psychopathic side to them crazy enough to murder.

Still wish WW used the ricin on that hipsterdick on Talking Bad/Dead. Douchewaffle deserves to choke on his smugness alone.