CL – Free Super bowl Ticket for Hot Chick – $1

Good news for someone….My uncle got 4 tickets to the superbowl and gave me 2. My (biatch) girlfriend broke up with me on the day of the New England game so I will be taking someone along with me to spite her. I will pay for tickets, hotel, food, drinks, etc.

My requirements are simple:

1. You must be hot and a Ravens fan.
2. You will be expected to put out, at least HJ/BJ/etc.
3. You will have to hang with my aunt and uncle for at least a little bit.

Email me if you are interested — this is not a joke.

What’s the problem? If some guy takes you out for a nice dinner, you’re kind of expected to put out. If some guy takes you to the Super Bowl, you better be on your knees longer than it takes Ray Lewis to fake pray for the cameras. Plus I’m pretty sure that if you answer a random dude’s ad on Craigslist for anything, whether it’s applying for a job, looking for an apartment or picking up a free coffee table, you’re going to get molested in some sense of the word. Just the way it works.

Regardless, a die-hard Ravens chick will take him up on the offer, if there’s such a thing as a die-hard Ravens chick. Too good of a situation not to pass up. You better believe if this was for the Eagles imaginary Super Bowl I would jerk him and his uncle off simultaneously, I have no shame dreaming like I’m skiing the whole weekend.