The Christian: Go home and do the dishes. That’s your job.

Rosie: I’m going to go home and fuck my wife.

The Christain: You’re a pig. A lesbian pig.

The top 5 things I think I hate most in the world are:

5) Internet Explorer (seriously, if you’re not using Google Chrome by now just kill yourself)
4) Teethy Blowjobs
3) Hitler
2) Wet Socks
1a) Religious Nutshits
1b) Rosie O’Donnell

Can’t stand either of these two with a passion. In one corner you have some yelling livestock in an Eli jersey who hasn’t shut her mouth or seen her genitalia without a mirror since 1984 and in the other you have even louder Religious assholes who instead of trying to help people just shout shit into a megaphone to everyone on the street that isn’t listening about how they’re going to hell. Nice to see it was a decent battle with both parties embarrassed equally in the end. Would call it a split decision.

Score one for the batshit Christians here. WWJD in this situation? Exactly. In order for lesbians to be saved, Jesus would call them wicked, fat pigs and instruct them to go straight home to the kitchen. Right there in the Bible. After turning water into wine he transforms bulldykes into smokes. All he had to do is encourage them to cook and ban their LPGA cards. Apparently Mary Magdalene looked like Kathy Bates and vacuumed more carpet than an Oreck till Christ knocked the gay away.

And there’s really no need for Rosie to clear up that she’s going to fuck her wife. If there’s anything that I’m 100% certain of in life it’s that in any relationship it has been in, Rosie O’Donnell is one doing the fucking. Nobody has ever laid pipe to that steer and lived to tell the tale.

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