Welp, show’s over sailors. Time to wrap it up for good. What was there to fear before? Chlamydia? Little to no side-effects besides infertility, which is a win anyways. Herpes? A nuisance that only comes out at random times that you are forced to deal with like acne or a woman announcing a college football game. Magic Johnson single handily cured the HIV. Even knocking someone up is fixable with the acute push down the stairs or taking a coat hanger and scrambling some eggs. But nothing out there should scare you more than an incurable strain of Gonorrhea that’s finally put all of the pieces together. It’s like if sharks not only found a way to breathe air but have access to the nuclear codes. Having your balls feel like a boiling cauldron while forever pissing sulfuric acid is no way to go through life. If there’s not a combination of drugs out there now that can take this bacteria bitch down then we’re just going to have to go old school and stick a turkey baster in the dick and give it a couple squirts of Mercury. If he dies, he dies.
PS – Still the best advice ever to give to a child: