LIVESCIENCE – Society has changed a lot over the years. Whereas decades ago it would have been unthinkable for a woman to ask a man out on a date, these days, progressive women are taking charge left and right. But one thing society isn’t ready for: women proposing marriage to a man. In a study of college students at U.C. Santa Cruz, a “liberal” environment if ever there was one, not a single student, male or female, said they “definitely” wanted the woman to propose. Although 2.8 percent of the women asked said they would kinda, sorta want to propose, not a single man was cool with being asked. Guess our society just isn’t ready for some things.

No shit, science. Men like being in control and women like to think they’re a princess when in reality the only reason they’re being proposed to is either they’re knocked up or the man has given up. Simple as that.

I’m going to be frank, the chances of me ever getting married are currently set at the same percentages Neil has of going into remission and being beloved on this site, but if that happens you better believe I would never accept a woman’s proposal. I don’t care if Blake Lively got down on a knee and said I could still be with other people while she would be mine forever and could withdraw cash from her mango scented vagina whenever I please, I will still have to say no. If you’re a man who says yes to a woman’s proposal you might take a white flag of surrender and stick it directly into your dick. No way you will ever wear the pants or even get a single instance of hand in that marriage. Doesn’t matter if it’s over what location to move to start a family or what you want to order for dinner, your leverage and balls were both vaporized the second you said ‘yes.’