DM – A soldier has returned from Afghanistan to discover his beloved Labrador was sold on Craigslist during his eight-month deployment. Brandon Harker, a soldier based at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Washington, is now appealing for help tracking down the beloved animal, Oakley, whom he has had since he was a puppy. When Harker returned home this week, he was excited to see the two-year-old purebred yellow Labrador retriever, whom he had left in the care of a friend. But the friend told him the dog had been given away – without giving an explanation as to why. ‘He thinks he’s a lap dog, even though he weighs 100 pounds,’ he said. ‘I’ve had him since he was a puppy. It’s heartbreaking.’

First we find the dog. Then we find the friend. Renegade mob style with pitchforks, torches and all.

How do we find the canine? Brandon has already taken out an ad on Craigslist in effort to track his Labrador down (Seattle area, West Coast Stoolies listen up):


I just recently returned from a 9 month deployment. And upon arrival back into the area I found out my yellow labrador retriever was either given away or sold while I was gone. I was told this happened in May, but it could have happened anytime from February till June. He is good with kids and other dogs. He has a unique coat, on his face he has spots of a darker yellow (champagne) he also has spots of the same color going down his sides and legs. If anyone has any information on this and can help me please do. I am just trying to get him back to me since he was wrongfully given away or sold with out my permission while I was deployed. I will also be able to verify the dog is mine because he is micro-chipped and registered to me. Once again thank you to everyone who sees this and tries to help. If you could spread the word about this issues that would be great as well.

Any Ace Ventura’s on the West Coast who wants to take up the challenge? Because this dog needs to be found and he needed to be found yesterday. I have no idea how to go about this other than the locals keeping their eyes and ears open, but this is the least we can do on our end.

Now. What kind of lowlife, scumbag would sell away his friend’s dog while he is overseas protecting our freedom? There is no punishment too great for this fuckface. William Wallace type shit. I’m talking old school dip his balls in boiling water then tar and feather him through the streets before impaling his ass on a 7ft steel pike dipped in AIDS. At the very least somebody needs to stand him at attention so that Brandon can get in a couple cold clocks while looking him straight in the eye and tell him what a brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah, holy shit.. After all that then allow the Lab to get temporary rabies and go Cujo on his dick. Only then will justice will be served.

But first, let’s find the dog.