IT GAWN! Dude really showed billionaire Jerry Jones and millionaire Tony Romo what’s up by destroying the equivalent to a month’s worth of income he earned at Arby’s. Probably just wanted to shoot the jersey but forgot he left his portable meth lab in his dirty jeans and boom went the dynamite. But, hey, whatever makes you feel better about having to deal with the only thing you care about win just one playoff game in almost the last 20 years. 100% chance he kept the washing machine along with the dryer and a couple pieces of living room furniture outdoors anyways. That Yankee shit is too modern to fit inside the trailer next to the coon-skinned hats, gun rack worth more than a car and a framed, life-sized poster of hippies being decapitated by a shirtless Dale Earnhardt and a pantsless George W.

PS – $1,000 in Internet dollars to anyone who is fluent in Redneck that can translate whatever the fuck he says after “This is how we wash the shit out of your Tony Romo jersey…” AND correctly guess the amount of remaining teeth in his wife’s mouth. O/U is currently set at 2.5.