Because you didn’t need your lunch anyways. I hope to hell you’re not a Thai or Chinese food lover because dammit this Thing from that fucking John Carpenter movie just ruined Lo Mein forever. Maybe spaghetti, too. Blowtorch this motherfucker to Hades. Burn the whole house down just to be sure.

Save Maurice some time: [Editor's Note: NOPE]

[REAL Editor's Note: I didn't make it past 6 seconds. Worst thing I've ever seen.]